Author: Smaug

Trying to understand my Chinese girlfriend. HELP!   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2013-1-25 12:16:10 |Display all floors
Seneca: "But you might be alarmed at it for a different reason: He might follow his words through with some concrete action, and Chinese people are often unable to resist peer pressure. "

Yes, I mentioned this to her. What if she said "OK" in jest, or to get him off her back about it. But then, he finds some single guy he thinks would be a good match and sends him to her? Then, she will have to turn him away, embarass him, etc. and since she hasn't told anyone there she DOES have a boyfriend, that poor guy would think she is making it up.

I do trust her not to go through with a date with another guy though, despite the distance.

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Post time 2013-1-25 12:22:22 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Smaug at 2013-1-25 12:23
So you are married and have been cheating on your wife. And you think you are entitled to your jealousy?

No. Marriage wasn't going well. Met my Chinese lady and decided to give up the failing marriage for a chance at true happiness. Never cheated.

Dawn_Chen: Thank you for the advice, it sounds very wise and I will follow it.

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Post time 2013-1-25 15:14:35 |Display all floors
haha ~

distance love? I think it's not practical

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Post time 2013-1-25 15:28:21 |Display all floors
She should discourage people approaching her and not give a round about answer. In fact, it's common in China not to clarify things directly, not only in love and romance but in most affairs. Please visit China and see it for yourself. There are a bunch of ' green card' candidates awaiting an anchor and there are girls wanting to just hang out for pleasure and fun and there are serious ones who will love you, care for you and your emotions. I completely understand how you feel when when the girl does not understand what you mean and complicate things by asking an array of questions to avoid the main issue.  From your writing I would advise you to behave normal, do not over react. It can harm your emotions. Wait and see and you will learn more. Play safe!
Warrior of Light!

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Post time 2013-1-25 16:03:40 |Display all floors
i think his boss is justing joking and her reply is also kidding

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Post time 2013-1-26 01:17:36 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2013-1-25 11:17
Thanks anothergirl, I'm glad to have another woman's point of view, especially one in support instea ...
Ghosty: I seriously doubt she is a gold-digger. My feelings and belief in her aside, she is much more successful in China than I am here. She's educated and has a great job. She has nothing to gain except love by coming here to be with me; she'll have to leave her family behind. (although she is not close to them at all, by her own admission) It is possible, though unlikely, that she is awaiting better opportunities. She has/does spend too much time and effort on me for someone who is shopping around. Remember, I didn't meet her through a "find a Chinese bride" site. I met her through work, quite by accident.

I didnt say gold digger, I said ¨passport hunter¨

I tell you

Your gf is already a prosperous woman as you described, she doesn´t need extra money but
in her mind she could think that she deserve something better than a local man, probably she thinks a foreigner is a good option to acomplish her dreams, a white man , to have white children.
In China society succesful people (same as regular ones) lives in a constant competition, who makes more money, who have better background, who have better house, better car, etc. and..........also who have a ¨better¨ love partner and a white foreigners is the best option however he looks, mabye the last part of my observation is what she cares more and its what i think.

Gold diggers and passport hunters are everywhere and they shows themselves in different forms.

When somebody is in love there is not room to keep silence, you know that right?

and a person could be discret and keep private her personal life but when a person is in love should behave as is in love, simple.

Again, my best advice is to get rid of her, all her answers in the conversation about your initial post makes me doubt in her.

She is cold as a rock and a challenging woman, i like challenges too but i never gonna challenge my wife or love partner.

Good luck dude {:soso_e179:}

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Post time 2013-1-26 02:01:02 |Display all floors
Man, I can't believe white dudes still believe those fairytales. She obviously is a gold digger and also a passport hunter. People in China, however successful they are, still want to fly away to a developped country, and it's a lot easier for women since they can get married and get PR. There are articles every week about how the nouveau riche with extremely comfortable lives want to emigrate to Western countries.

Remember that the Chinese culture doesn't make people feel remorse for lying. So, it would be quite normal for her to be dating with other guys -and denying it- while keeping in touch with you, so that she can widen her chances.

And going away to date other women when you are still married is actually cheating.

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