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Q and A From Old UK GCSE Exams .............. [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-11-10 23:44:56 |Display all floors
Theses are some real questions and answers from a previous GCSE exam in the UK  ............

Some are really quite exceptionally funny and please ask if you do not know why  ........      

It will be the question first followed by the answer  ..........  


English Test

Define the word 'monotony.'
Monotony is being married to the same person all your life.

Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

What does the word 'benign' mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

What is the correct use of a semi-colon?
Only to be used as a last resort, a semi-colon is a partial removal
of the intestines.

History Test

What is Britain's highest award for valour in war?

Nelson's column.




More later  ........





What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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Post time 2012-12-5 18:18:55 |Display all floors
Religious Instruction

Who did not welcome the return of the prodigal son?
The fatted calf.

What is a Hindu?
It lays eggs.

Name some famous pilgrimages ?
Muslims used to go to Gamages but now it's closed.  Christians still go on pilgrimage to Lord's.

Geography

Name the four seasons.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

What is the equator?
A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.

Name a greenhouse gas. What could be done to decrease global warming?
Cows make large amounts of methane when they fart. This could be reduced by fitting them with catalytic converters.

Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

How is dew formed?
The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.


What causes the tides in the oceans?
The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

What is a fossil?
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.


More  ..............

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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Post time 2012-12-5 21:15:03 |Display all floors
Biology

What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Premature death.

What is artificial insemination?
When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

How can you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.

How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g.abdomen.)
The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and  the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E, I, O and U.

Briefly describe the skeleton and its function in the body.
1. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.
2. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch the meat onto.

What is the Fibula?
A small lie.

Where are the Tibia?
They live in a country in North Africa.

What does 'varicose' mean?
Nearby.

What is the most common form of birth control?
Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

What is the alimentary canal?
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

What is a coma?
A coma is a punctual mark a bit like a period or full stop.

What is a seizure?
A Roman emperor.

What is a terminal illness?
When you are sick at the airport.

Name the types of teeth in an adult human. How many are there of each?
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cupids, two molars and eight cuspidors.


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What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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