Author: MichaelM

Would You Choose Love Over Family Wishes?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-4-23 17:26:08 |Display all floors
Choose by your eyes and heart is right
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Post time 2012-4-24 00:03:43 |Display all floors
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Never Let Anyone Outside The Family Know What You're Thinking.

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Post time 2013-4-23 13:16:56 |Display all floors
MichaelM Post time: 2012-2-22 06:00
Thank you for your answer. Please help me to understand. It is more important in China to make you ...

That depends, sometimes yes. But for me, I will never let my parents get involved in such kind of things, for it is mostly my business. u see, a lot of chinese hold the same opinion as me and some traditional norms are changing; For instance, people's attitude towards gay people.

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Post time 2013-4-23 21:08:38 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Smaug at 2013-4-23 21:09

Wow, lots of thoughts on this one. For me, it is an easy decision: love.

Also, look at it this way: would the family still support the current relationship if they knew neither person was faithful to the other? Would they just tell the couple "Shape up, and be faithful to this person you don't love." I bet not.

If I were this girl's "mister", I wouldn't wait long. If she has to stop and THINK of whether she should be with me, whom she supposedly loves, or her current boyfriend, whom she doesn't love but her family approves of, I would be gone in a heartbeat.

I want to be with someone who KNOWS I'm the one.

Michael, I don't think you're doing the right thing by not advising her, since you refer to yourself as her mentor. She can make her own decisions after considering your advice. As a mentor, you don't have to push her in one direction or the other, but you CAN turn her head; make her see from a new point of view.

She is in one of those situations in which the solution is obvious to onlookers, but not to her, since she's emotionally embroiled in it.

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Post time 2013-4-26 10:08:03 |Display all floors
MichaelM Post time: 2012-2-22 06:00
Thank you for your answer. Please help me to understand. It is more important in China to make you ...

I think it's also important in USA to make your parents proud...
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Post time 2014-3-10 19:06:30 |Display all floors
This woman can not get happiness;because the god won't give her.she is not a good girl.A good girl won't let herself in this situation,and a good girl won't connect two man in the same time.

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Post time 2014-3-11 01:41:33 |Display all floors
I believe most parents have high expectations and this is then perceived as disliking anyone who doesn't match up. However, unless there are obvious reasons for disapproval I'm sure that all parents will come around and respect the decision - even if it takes time afterwards for them to see that both are actually happily married.

One difference between the West and China though I believe to be 'love experience'. By mid twenties, a western girl is likely to have had many different boyfriends. A Chinese girl may only have had one if any. Many hold out for their fairytale prince, but lack any experience at identifying what's important for long term love.

Of course, a lot does boil down to age... the closer the girl is to 30, the more the parents will be open to accept anyone. If still much younger, the parents will hold hope for them to find better. I should also imagine that parents with closer experiences of divorce are more likely to accept love over other criteria.
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