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The solution to the Middle East conflict lies in applying Gingrich’s brilliant insight to New Englanders inside the United States. Is New England a nation? Of course not. It never was. The phrase “New England” is just an invention, an informal way of referring to those Americans who happen to live in the so-called “New England” states of Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Connecticut. Just as “Palestinians” were merely subjects of the Ottoman Empire and never a real people called “Palestinians,” New Englanders are really just Americans and were never a real people called “New Englanders.” So-called “Palestinians” don’t speak “Palestinianese”; they speak Arabic, like all other Arabs. Likewise so-called “New Englanders” don’t speak “New Englandese”; they speak English, like virtually all other Americans.|
What this means is that we can solve the Middle East conflict by doing successfully to New England what was attempted unsuccessfully in Palestine, in other words move Israel from Palestine (where it only creates trouble) to New England, and move most of the non-Jewish “New Englanders” out of the newly created Israel and let them live in America, with all the rest of their fellow Americans. Since “New Englanders” are just an invented people, they have no grounds for objecting to this.
We can create a Jewish state in New England that will enjoy real security because this time the neighbors of the relocated Israel will be Americans, who are not anti-Semitic.
Fortunately, we can pretty much predict how this plan will work out because we have the experience of the attempt to do it in Palestine to learn from. The first thing to do is, as in 1947 in Palestine, have the United Nations declare that New England is a Jewish state, and have Jews in New England declare that region to be the Jewish state of Israel, the state of the Jewish people (only), and a state in which the sovereign authority is “the Jewish people” rather than all the people who are citizens of the state. The wording for this declaration can be taken right from the current Declaration of the State of Israel written in 1948.
The UN resolution should, of course, say that non-Jews in N.E. are allowed to remain there and be citizens of Israel. They will not, however, enjoy equal status with Jews under the law, and will have to accept the fact that they will be living in a state that does not even purport to represent them or their well-being, because they are not Jewish.
Of course, some of the non-Jews in N.E. may not take kindly to this, because for some mysterious reason they, unlike other Americans, will be discovered to have been covertly, innately and irrationally anti-Semitic all along (who knew?) They will argue against the plan to turn New England into Israel, with phrases about equal rights under the law and religious discrimination being unconstitutional and other nonsense. Unfortunately, some of these anti-Semites will resort to terrorist violence against turning New England into Israel. And since non-Jews in N.E. are a majority of the population (for the time being) their violence will have to be dealt with firmly. Israel will have to form a military to drive these terrorists, who deny Israel’s right to exist, into America (say upstate New York), which is, after all, where they belong since they are, of course, Americans, not “New Englanders.” “New England” is not a nation, just an invention, remember? (I cannot thank Newt Gingrich enough for this insight!)