Views: 4190|Replies: 6

Why not carefully before get marriage, young lady? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2010-6-29 23:50:08 |Display all floors
In the morning, a 28 young lady gave me a call for some legal advice on the best way to divorce.
She just has a little baby of 7 months. But the young husband doesn’t care about the wife and the new born baby playing all day outside home.

Generally speaking, divorce is not a good idea for new married couple, moreover they had just have a little baby. But the lady said she was cheated by her husband and even didn’t ever know that he had been in prison for 2 times.

Several months ago, because severe Family violence, the young lady left home living with her parents. And now, she has made the decision that she must leave her husband.

There are two legal ways to get divorce in China.

One is very simple. Both couples should go to the marriage register office to declare that they are willing to divorce and they have signed a divorce agreement. The agreement should include two important things: first, who would be the guardianship to their baby. Second, how their property and debts are distributed. This is the simple way because maybe the divorce application would be approved by the register office on the spot.

The other way is of course to sue in the court. The judge will make the decision if the divorce claims are approved. Often, the divorce case would be finished in 2-6months, but when one party of the couple does not consent severely, the judge would be more carefully to avoid some bad thing occurred, such as the wife suicide herself, the husband attack the wife, etc.

Most of the Chinese lawyers don’t like to be the attorneys in the divorce cases. I believe it’s really a terrible thing to divorce in China. Chinese still believe that to divorce means to split any relationships between the husband and wife. In a traditional Chinese divorced family, children would be the most injured victims. Most ex-husbands or ex-wifes don’t like to let the children to see their father or mother any more.

Talking back to the above lady, my heart got impact by her encountered problems. But I really want to know, why did she be more carefully before get marriage?

What’s your opinion? Thanks.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2010-6-30 17:20:25 |Display all floors
Parents in China push children to get married, if a girl is not married by 25 she is considered old and almost unmarriable lately. China's rates of divorce are going to skyrocket just like the Wests did for a while, then just lik ethe Wests now, they go down.
It's modernization, as a country transfers from a conservative traditional society like China was to a modernized and   more open society with equal rights for females, divorce goes up.

And don't pretend it's her fault her husband is a dick. Maybe he was nice until after the marriage. People try to be nice and than after married they stop caring so much. The husband is the dick here, support your friend and help her leave her abusive husband.

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Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2010-6-30 17:25:46 |Display all floors
Well, many men pretend to be angels, real gentlemen before marriage...just to get the girls to marry them. In China many marriages are arranged through xiangqin, parents etc. The two partners haven`t lived together before  marriage, don`t really know each other. In many caese the marriage becomes a nightmare after. Same happened to my Chinese sister-in-law....arranged marriage, husband beat her later. Living together before marriage for longer time might be better....like that you will get to know your partner.
Patria est ubicunque bene/Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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Rank: 4

Post time 2010-7-1 05:29:36 |Display all floors
I would never marry anyone I hadn't lived togehter with for an extended period of time. you can never know anyone until you've lived together and sometimes not even then...

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2010-7-2 11:59:39 |Display all floors
Chinese society is changing quicky espicially in city. But there is lack of responsibility. Both should have scene of responsibility in the family. selfishness is one of the problem, so due to their selfishness they dont have the scene of family as a whole.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2010-7-2 12:16:08 |Display all floors
I think the pressure from parents is one reason,like EthanYiSen said,but only part of it,the other part of  I think it is the "indepent" way,
We are not too much idependent in some way,although our woman have big changed in the past  years,have their own job,their own life,but
tranditional way still tradtional way,in china we have so many very good tradtional,but also we have some stupid tradtional too.
Anyway hope this divorice stuff don't happen offten.it is not good thing.

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Rank: 1

Post time 2010-10-22 22:59:59 |Display all floors
Divorce is a tough decision in any culture... If you are thinking of, and need more <a href="http://www.dadsdivorce.com">advice for divorce</a>  then look for some information on the internet. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors!

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