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Interest in two women, confused [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2010-6-22 04:17:42 |Display all floors
I have a woman waiting for me in Guangxi.  We have been talking for over a year.  We have video/audio chat almost every day, often for many many hours.  This has gone on way past the "obsession" stage, we truly can talk for that long every day.  We know almost everything about each other.  She is smart, considerate, kind, dependable, pretty, and our personalities match so well.  We are even at the point where we can often finish each others sentences.  I really cannot wait to be with her.  

Another woman, that I've known for about the same amount of time, I haven't talked with her ANYWHERE near as much.  She is also pretty but not gorgeous (actually, my beauty requirements are very low, it's not that important to me).  She is rude, curses alot (I actually like this, I curse alot too), acts like she doesn't care about anyone (but she does), and seems so obsessed with fashion, brand name products, and looking good.  On the plus side, I have fun when talking with her and laugh alot.  That is it, really.

In my mind, I should love the first one.  In fact, I'm fairly certain I do and would not say I am love with the second one.  However, perhaps you can help me answer this, why is it that, when I dream, I dream about the second one?  Never the first one.  I don't understand this at all and it's really messing with my brain.  I've had lots of "sexy" dreams before but it was always women I didn't know.  I could never see their faces.  In fact, I think this may be the first time I had that kind of dream where I could see her face.  It's also not just the sexiness part... most of the dream was simply being close, loving.  I think that's what bothers me the most.  If it was just a sexy dream, I could simply say it was crazy subliminal lust... but it wasn't.  When I woke up, my heart ached and I wanted to be with her.  Why?  How could I even want to be with her, I don't even know her that well.  It is like my unconscious is disagreeing with my mind on who I should pursue.

I don't know what to do.  Maybe nothing.  Is it fate trying to guide me to the second girl?  Should I be more romantically agressive towards the second girl?  The first girl and I agreed we should be open to other people, simply due to how long it would be before we can meet, but I must admit that both of us would be jealous and hurt.  How can I get the second girl out of my brain, especially when sleeping?

Very frustrating situation.  It's like I don't know who I am, anymore.

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Post time 2010-6-22 05:29:21 |Display all floors
I think that it is very usual to desire for more than one woman/man as this is actually the way of nature. More often,men tend to long for women whom they can't have. (grass is greener elsewhere theory)

As you said, you are in love with the first woman and you want to be with her. Meanwhile you are positive that she feels the same way and wants to be with you as well.Therefore your relationship is more or less "certain" or "confirmed" even though you haven't really lived together yet.

While with the second woman,since you do not know her very well,and she is not labelled as "your lady",you might desire her more because she is notyours. And this desire comes in the form of "lust" because in the bottom of your heart you know very well that the relationship between you and her can never work out either morally or intellectually.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2010-6-22 06:22:00 |Display all floors
If you haven't actually met them you dont know either of them for real.

And they dont know you.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2010-6-23 15:28:37 |Display all floors
Originally posted by St_George at 2010-6-22 06:22
If you haven't actually met them you dont know either of them for real.

And they dont know you.


he won't have either one,

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2010-6-23 17:59:03 |Display all floors
Originally posted by infinita at 2010-6-22 05:29
I think that it is very usual to desire for more than one woman/man as this is actually the way of nature. ...


and I'd like to note from my experience that it's not even that desireable as it seems.
too much distraction in the intimacy...
您买象牙 - 您杀了大象!
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNjU1Nzg0NDky.html - “用现代文明标准比划中国人,是严重的种族歧视行为。”
„Ich ficke wo, wen, und wann ich will, hast du mich verstanden. Auch du könntest ficken, aber du kannst es ja gar nicht, deine deutsche Genauigkeit... verbietet es dir“. Jean-Claude Juncker

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Post time 2010-6-23 20:26:00 |Display all floors
Live with them and have sex with them, choose the one that fits you .----Maybe it is the most effective thing for you to choose one of them.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2010-6-23 20:45:21 |Display all floors

torn 'tween 2 lovers...

just as long as you dont feel like a fool...try em both and see which one to keep (usually i couldnt make up my mind & not just YOU)  

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