Views: 12062|Replies: 15

奥巴马上海演讲的中文翻译非常糟糕 [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2009-11-18 11:32:40 |Display all floors
奥巴马上海演讲的中文翻译相当糟糕, 现在却借助网络到处传播,甚至传到这里,岂不是误人子弟?希望各位英语同好对照英语原文对此翻译进行批判分析,搞出自己的译文。这是对中国翻译界的负责,也是对英语教学界的负责。我已经重新翻译这篇讲话,希望你们也这样做。也希望你们将我这个警告广为传播,免得谬种流传。

[ Last edited by fanghuzhai at 2009-11-19 02:48 PM ]

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2009-11-18 15:10:43 |Display all floors
方先生就是于岚副教授吗?久仰了!
帖子找不到,原因可能是其中有不能自动通过审查的内容(词语),因此不能立即显示出来,要经过管理员人工处理。

Use magic tools Report

Post time 2009-11-19 09:40:20 |Display all floors
Reminder: Author is prohibited or removed, and content is automatically blocked

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2009-11-19 10:33:47 |Display all floors
Originally posted by jarryxzs at 2009-11-19 09:40
有空联系我,我有问题请教。

Jarryxzs@hotmail.com



有空联系我

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2009-11-19 13:10:01 |Display all floors
This translation is better than the one published by Xinhua net:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/lan ... content_8983608.htm

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2009-11-19 13:29:48 |Display all floors
This translation is the bad translation:

http://ts.hjenglish.com/page/88178/

copy it before it disappears, because now there is a better version circulating online. I am glad to see that. You can find it at here:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/lan ... content_8983608.htm

So I do not have to finish my translation now.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2009-11-19 13:38:18 |Display all floors
(Note: I intended to write a critique of the bad translation, but today I found there is a new translation that is much better. The bad one at China Daily site has been replaced by the good one. Now you can still find the bad one at the website of Hujiang Yingyu [Shanghai River English].

I post my article here and will not continue to finish it. There is no need now.)




外国政要访华讲话的翻译,历来是我国翻译界乐于关注的对象。其中文翻译,往往出自翻译专业人员之手。由集体反复推敲确定译文最后定稿也是常事。这是我国翻译界的一个好传统。有些政要讲话的翻译,被选入翻译教材,比如尼克松访华的祝酒词。

这个传统到了今天不知道为什么不见了。例子就是这次奥巴马访华在上海发表的演讲。新华网发布了一个中文稿。现在这个中文稿在网络上到处出现,甚至到了一些英语学习论坛和翻译论坛。但是这个翻译是一个急就章,非常草率,漏译、误译,过分意译比比皆是。在译文润色上也粗制滥造,个别地方读起来甚至像用google 语言工具作的自动翻译,严重破坏了原文的风格。我要说这个译文连大学英语专业的翻译课标准都达不到。

对照英语原文,我发现中文版的分段跟原文不符合。 在《华夏快递》上登出的中文版,每段后面有时间标志。我怀疑这是个口译的实录。如果这样,那还可以原谅。但是新华网拿来发表就不可原谅了,因为新华网的任务不是报道口译人员当时是如何翻译奥巴马讲话的,而是要给中国人民一个准确完整忠实的奥巴马讲话文本,所以应该重新修订后再发表才是。新华网的做法,违反了我国翻译界的传统和惯常做法,应该检讨。

但是我从录像发现,奥巴马讲话过程中并没有中文口译。听众提问也是用英文进行的。那么这个演讲的中文稿,只能是从英文文稿笔译过来的。如果真是这样的话,那这样的译文就不可原谅了。

最后一个可能就是中文稿是美方提供的。但是我有点怀疑,因为里面有一个地方使用了“罩着”这个词来翻译“care for”(英文第6段, 下同)。这个词是中国黑帮词汇,意思是“提供保护”。除非白宫找了华人黑帮来翻译奥巴马的讲话,或者白宫找的翻译在中国混混里面呆过,否则是想不到用这个词的。我想白宫如果找人翻译,就近到美国之音去找人是很方便的,质量也会有保证的。再不行,发给国防语言学院请求帮助。国防语言学院的人要是翻不了,过两条街到蒙特雷研究生院翻译学院,用不着找包老师,找个大陆来的研究生也没多大问题。总之,如果是美方正经要翻译这篇演讲,绝对不对找不到一个合格的翻译。

下面择要分析一下新华网发表的这个中文稿。我按照英文原文给中文稿重新分了段。

RESIDENT OBAMA: Good afternoon. It is a great honor for me to be here in Shanghai, and to have this opportunity to speak with all of you. I'd like to thank Fudan University's President Yang for his hospitality and his gracious welcome. I'd also like to thank our outstanding Ambassador, Jon Huntsman, who exemplifies the deep ties and respect between our nations. I don't know what he said, but I hope it was good. (Laughter.)

你好。诸位下午好。我感到很荣幸能够有机会到上海跟你们交谈,我要感谢复旦大学的杨校长,感谢他的款待和热情的欢迎。我还想感谢我们出色的大使洪博培,他是我们两国间深厚的纽带。我不知道他刚才说什么,但是希望他说得很好。。[ 11-16 13:06]。

此处划线部分,奥巴马是在开玩笑。中文翻译没有翻译出来幽默效果。可以译成:“他刚才讲了些什么我不知道,但愿他没讲什么坏话。”或者“但愿他讲的都是好话”。


This is my first time traveling to China, and I'm excited to see this majestic country. Here, in Shanghai, we see the growth that has caught the attention of the world -- the soaring skyscrapers, the bustling streets and entrepreneurial activity. And just as I'm impressed by these signs of China's journey to the 21st century, I'm eager to see those ancient places that speak to us from China's distant past. Tomorrow and the next day I hope to have a chance when I'm in Beijing to see the majesty of the Forbidden City and the wonder of the Great Wall. Truly, this is a nation that encompasses both a rich history and a belief in the promise of the future.

这是我首次访问中国,我看到你们博大的国家,感到很兴奋。在上海这里,我们看到了瞩目的增长,高耸的塔楼,繁忙的街道,还有企业家的精神。这些都是中国步入21世纪的迹象,让我感到赞叹。同时我也急切的要看到向我们展现中国古老的古迹,明天和后天我要到北京去看雄伟壮丽的故宫和令人叹为观止的长城,这个国度既有丰富的历史,又有对未来憧憬的信念。

这段翻译的问题除了漏掉了“of the world”以外,主要是不够严谨。“I'm eager to see those ancient places that speak to us from China's distant past.”的表述方式比较富有文学色彩,译文则有些枯燥。

The same can be said of the relationship between our two countries. Shanghai, of course, is a city that has great meaning in the history of the relationship between the United States and China. It was here, 37 years ago, that the Shanghai Communique opened the door to a new chapter of engagement between our governments and among our people. However, America's ties to this city -- and to this country -- stretch back further, to the earliest days of America's independence.

而我们两国的关系也是如此,上海在美中关系的历史中是个具有意义的重大城市,在30年前,《上海公报》打开了我们两国政府和两国人民接触交往的新的篇章。不过美国与这个国家的纽带可以追溯更久远的过去,追溯到美国独立的初期,
此段把“37”误译为“30”。表示强调的“it was here” 没有翻译。


In 1784, our founding father, George Washington, commissioned the Empress of China, a ship that set sail for these shores so that it could pursue trade with the Qing Dynasty. Washington wanted to see the ship carry the flag around the globe, and to forge new ties with nations like China. This is a common American impulse -- the desire to reach for new horizons, and to forge new partnerships that are mutually beneficial.

乔治•华盛顿组织了皇后号的下水仪式,这个船成功前往大清王朝,华盛顿希望看到这艘船前往各地,与中国结成新的纽带。希望中国开辟新的地平线,建立新的伙伴关系。
此段疏漏甚多。增加了原文没有的“成功”一词。“the globe”变成了“各地”,让人误以为指中国各地。 “nations like China”成了“中国”。最后一句的翻译完全错误,应该译为“这是美国的一个普遍追求---开拓新领域,建立新的互惠性质的伙伴关系”。

Over the two centuries that have followed, the currents of history have steered the relationship between our countries in many directions. And even in the midst of tumultuous winds, our people had opportunities to forge deep and even dramatic ties. For instance, Americans will never forget the hospitality shown to our pilots who were shot down over your soil during World War II, and cared for by Chinese civilians who risked all that they had by doing so. And Chinese veterans of that war still warmly greet those American veterans who return to the sites where they fought to help liberate China from occupation.
在其后的两个世纪中,历史洪流使我们两国关系向许多不同的方向发展,而即使在最动荡的方向中,我们的两国人民打造深的,甚至有戏剧性的纽带,比如美国人永远不会忘记,在二战期间,美国飞行员在中国上空被击落后,当地人民对他们的款待,中国公民冒着失去一切的危险罩着他们。而参加二战的老兵仍然欢迎故地重游的美国老兵,他们在那里参战。
此段翻译也是很粗梳。“即使在最动荡的方向中,我们的两国人民打造深的,甚至有戏剧性的纽带。”这一句缺乏任何动词形态标志,读起来很生硬。“罩着”属于用词不妥,可以译为“对他们施以援手”或者“实行救助”。“而参加二战的老兵仍然欢迎故地重游的美国老兵,他们在那里参战”一句中漏掉了“中国”,对定语从句的处理方式也很生硬。“they fought to help liberate China from occupation”整个被删掉,不知是否故意?此段最后的定语从句可以保留原结构,或者译成“参加了那次战争的中国老兵仍然欢迎美国老兵故地重游, 看一看当年他们为把中国从占领者手中解放出来而战斗过的地方。”

A different kind of connection was made nearly 40 years ago when the frost between our countries began to thaw through the simple game of table tennis. The very unlikely nature of this engagement contributed to its success -- because for all our differences, both our common humanity and our shared curiosity were revealed. As one American player described his visit to China -- "[The]people are just like us…The country is very similar to America, but still very different."

40年前,我们两国间开启了又一种联系,两国关系开始解冻,通过乒乓球的比赛解冻关系。我们两国之间有着分歧,但是我们也有着共同的人性及有着共同的好奇,就像一位乒乓球人员一样,那的国家就是一样。

此段翻译删去了“The very unlikely nature of this engagement contributed to its success”,大概是觉得不好翻译。原文的意思应该是说通过乒乓球赛使中美两国化解外交僵局看起来有点不可思议,然而却成功了。 这成功的基础是中美人民对体育这类非政治活动都有相同的爱好。奥巴马在这里是在强调政治的歧见挡不住人性的相同。这也为他后来谈普世价值打下一点伏笔。这句可意译为“以小小乒乓推动大国外交看似离奇,然而成功的秘诀就在其中”。

此段把美国运动员翻译成“乒乓球人员”,不妥。另外最后一句大部分内容都给译者贪污了。

Of course this small opening was followed by the achievement of the Shanghai Communique, and the eventual establishment of formal relations between the United States and China in 1979. And in three decades, just look at how far we have come.

但是这个小小的开头带来了《上海公报》的问世,最终还带来了美中在1979年建交。在其后的30年我们又取得了长足的进展

此段中“just look at how far we have come”是一句祈使句,直译是“你们看看我们走了多远”有强调成绩很大的意思。译文的处理是一句平淡的陈述句,力度不够。

America imports from China many of the computer parts we use, the clothes we wear; and we export to China machinery that helps power your industry. This trade could create even more jobs on both sides of the Pacific, while allowing our people to enjoy a better quality of life. And as demand becomes more balanced, it can lead to even broader prosperity.

美国电脑中许多部件,还有穿的衣服都是从中国进口的,我们向中国出口中国工业要使用的机器,这种贸易可以在太平洋两岸创造更多的就业机会,让我们的人民过上质量更高的生活。在需求趋于平衡的过程中,这种贸易可以是更广阔的贸易。
此段中最后一句属于误译,应该是“随着双方的需求趋向平衡,双方的贸易能够让两国的经济更为繁荣。”

[ Last edited by fanghuzhai at 2009-11-19 02:46 PM ]

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.