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If I am wrong or I do not know how to love a person? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-5-8 18:42:55 |Display all floors
My bf and I have been dated for 3 years since the last year from college school,we supposed to know each other very well,recently,I received many complains from him,something like I do not respect him,I do not treat him as a man,or I ignore him with my other friends.I think may his complains are right,eg.last night,I had dinner with my friends and my sister,she made me upset for some personal reasons and on the way home,I did not have a good mood,one gf tried to talk to me,I tried to be polite and talked her in a friendly way.my bf tried to talk to me,I just keep my lower mood and not talking to him as I did not feel well.in that way got his complaits as I talked to the gf in a nice polite way,but for his words I just ignored and did not give him my respect as he said...that was not his complains for the first time.

I am thinking I respect him ,I love him,and I do not want to ignore him,but when somethings bad happend to me ,I do not like to talk to him for the sake of peace in mind,that's why he said I ignored him..

I hope you understand my explaination and my problems. or just because he is the person who close to me,I take for granted that he should be the last one to take care? (that's wrong logic) I did not mean to ,well it happend like that. how 's your suggestion?

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Post time 2009-5-8 19:20:29 |Display all floors
Originally posted by fallingleave at 2009-5-8 18:42
My bf and I have been dated for 3 years since the last year from college school,we supposed to know each other very well,recently,I received many complains from him,something like I do not respect  ...



First my answer to the title of your thread.
It is not a matter of knowledge if you love somebody.Love in not an art.It needs sincerity only.
Definitely your lover has his own reasons to believe that you do not love him
I do not think that it is a matter of one moment only.
The guy I can imagine should have accumulated many incidents of such a behaviour from you.

In addition ,were you convincing enough that just because you are tired you behaved like that?Did you apologise?Did you encourage him enough that this is your way of behaviour?

I do not think so.I can imagine that your lover knows very well your feelings towards him and your behaviour was just a confirmation.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2009-5-8 19:30:21 |Display all floors
I think that I cann't give you good suggestion, but I can understand your feelings. Because sometimes I have the same feelings as you. For example, when I'm in bad mood, one of my classmate asked me somethings or talked to me, I'm sure that I can reply patiently, I won't let her feel that I'm in bad mood, and let my bad mood makes her unhappy. But if my best friend tried to talk to me, I'm afraid I won't be very patient, and maybe sometimes my bad mood will affect her, or even makes her feel unhappy. When I calm down, I will regret and feel sorry for her. I think I will make an apology to her.  I think the reason that I treat them so differently is not because I don't like my friend, on the contrary, I like her very much. It's because that we cann't hide our true feelings before the one you like, and we think that it's not necessary to hide. Anyway, I think that if you really care your bf very much, you can explain to him.I think he will understand.:)

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Post time 2009-5-8 19:41:21 |Display all floors
Originally posted by He Lian at 2009-5-8 19:30
I think that I cann't give you good suggestion, but I can understand your feelings. Because sometimes I have the same feelings as you. For example, when I'm in bad mood, one of my classmate asked m ...

Hi He Lian,
definitely I agree with you.It has happened to me many times to behave like that to my children .I have told them many time not to talk to me for some hours.They also do the same to me.
No misunderstanding.


If you do that to a friend who is out of the family ,again it is normal but you have to correct it immediately.
You have to explain that you did not mean to neglect your friend or lover.That it was a matter of a bad moment.
I do not think that people who love each other need a philosophy for their nehaviour.Things are so simple.
All of us we have bad moments.All of us show our bad parts of our character to our beloved ones .However when the bad moment passes and gows away ,then it is our obligation to explain why we behaved like that .
The lady above probably does not care enough if she hurts her lover with her neglection or her bad behaviour.:Q
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2009-5-8 19:50:09 |Display all floors
Originally posted by fallingleave at 2009-5-8 18:42
My bf and I have been dated for 3 years since the last year from college school,we supposed to know each other very well,recently,I received many complains from him,something like I do not respect  ...


Life is a lesson that we learned and need to learn more. Keep the good relationship or love relation isn't that easy thing which need two of you to work harger together. I had fight and arguments with my beloved ones,but it doesn't mean we do not love.
when that things happend to you,I suggest you talk to your partner in peacefully way and applogize is necessary .

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Post time 2009-5-8 20:12:58 |Display all floors
why is love story so POPULAR here?

Heavens bless you & me!

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Post time 2009-5-8 20:25:13 |Display all floors

Reply #1 fallingleave's post

He needs your care....
Another day , another dollars!

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