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(转贴自外研社网站16-25)佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(含讲评、译文范例) [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:14:58 |Display all floors
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续四)
——凌原老师译文讲评
编辑注:在外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师的主持下,外研社对编辑进行培训的“翻译沙龙”已经成功地举办了两次讲座。第一次讲座以中文新闻标题的英译为主,凌老师以实例为大家具体讲解了标题翻译的原则和技巧,并为大家留下作业。凌老师详细批改了每一份作业,并把优秀、别致、灵活的译文结集起来,在第二次讲座中做了讲评。
  翻译界学人众多,名家林立,风格各有不同。有人偏好理论,有人注重实践。凌老师带领大家走上的正是从大量具体的实践中磨练译笔的艰苦征程,不过在克服了翻译中或隐或显的文化障碍,把中文译成了流畅通达的英文之后,大家也分外体会到艰辛之后的欣喜和欣慰。
  以下是凌老师点评的讲稿,请大家对照自己的译文琢磨一下吧!


16.追本溯源:台闽豫千年前是一家
注:英文标题中提到中国省份、自治区时一般不用简称,要用全称,所以“台闽豫”应该译成Taiwan, Fujian, Henan。“追本溯源”可译成root seeking,简洁明了。“千年前”译成one millennium ago也挺好。“是一家”可说是of same origin/ have same ancestors,翻译成are family更是地道的英语。
佳译举例:
— Taiwan, Fujian, Henan traced back to same root;
— Taiwan, Fujian, Henan flow the same blood;
— Taiwan, Fujian, Henan are family (1,000 years ago) for a millennium

17.第六次全国铁路提速首列列车驶出 由成都至广州
佳译举例:
— First 6th national railway speedup train leaves Chengdu for Guangzhou
— First train of 6th railway speedup leaves Chengdu for Guangzhou
— Sixth railway speedup starts with Chengdu-Guangzhou train
注:上例中的句式中,动词也可换成unveiled。换成另一种句式:
Chengdu-Guangzhou train… sixth railway speedup,两组名词之间可用unveils/heralds/kicks off/leads等动词连接。

18.国新办就中国知识产权保护状况等举行发布会
注:“国新办”出现了各种译法,应该是哪一种呢:National Press Office? NIO? SCI? State Information Office? SCNO (State Council News Office)? National News Office? News release office?
准确的应该是SCIO(State Council Information Office)。这样的官方名称一般都可通过网络查到,不应出现错误。做翻译时请用学者的严谨态度对待各种专用名词的翻译!
知识产权:IPR; 知识产权保护intellectual property right protection
佳译举例:
— SCIO briefs on intellectual property protection;
— SCIO briefs on China’s protection on IPR;
— SCIO holds press conference on China’s IPR
China holds press conference on intellectual property right protection
注:外国人往往不知SCIO为何物,用China取而代之,反而使标题变得一目了然。

19.罪犯劫持直升机劫狱
注:“罪犯”在英文中不能随意使用,只有审判确定有罪者才能称得上criminal, 否则只能用suspect,或者用安全的译法:man。此句也可以灵活处理,把“罪犯”回避掉,见第一例。“直升机”的译法也请注意,看哪种最简便。
佳译举例:
— Copter hijacked for jail delivery;
— Criminal hijacks copter for jail delivery;
— Hijacker Rescues Prisoner by Chopper;
— Outlaws hijack helicopter to rescue prisoners;
— Helicopter hijackers play jailbreak (: a popular web game)
注:此例用了一种流行的网络游戏的名称jailbreak,英文读者应该一看即知,是灵活运用了国外社会文化背景的佳译。
— Men hijack copter, attack/raid jail

20.安倍称反对解除对华武器禁运
解除:lift;反义:impose
禁运:ban/sanction/arms embargo (on/against sb.)
注:“安倍”还是用全名的翻译Shinzo Abe比较好。
佳译举例:
— Abe says he opposes lifting China arms embargo;
—Shinzo Abe opposes removing arms embargo on China;
下面两例中,用介词代替动词,有异曲同工之妙。
— Abe against removal of arms embargo on China;
— Abe Against Lifting Arms Embargo on China  

佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续五)
——凌原老师译文讲评
编辑注:在外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师的主持下,外研社对编辑进行培训的“翻译沙龙”已经成功地举办了两次讲座。第一次讲座以中文新闻标题的英译为主,凌老师以实例为大家具体讲解了标题翻译的原则和技巧,并为大家留下作业。凌老师详细批改了每一份作业,并把优秀、别致、灵活的译文结集起来,在第二次讲座中做了讲评。
  翻译界学人众多,名家林立,风格各有不同。有人偏好理论,有人注重实践。凌老师带领大家走上的正是从大量具体的实践中磨练译笔的艰苦征程,不过在克服了翻译中或隐或显的文化障碍,把中文译成了流畅通达的英文之后,大家也分外体会到艰辛之后的欣喜和欣慰。
  以下是凌老师点评的讲稿,请大家对照自己的译文琢磨一下吧!


21.英国国防大臣就水兵“故事换金钱”一事正式道歉
注:“国防大臣”也出现了误译,成为Defense Secretary,很不应该。这是不难查到的说法,还是请大家注意专用名称的翻译的准确性。有的译者直接用英国现任国防大臣的姓名来代替,不失为一种灵活的译法。
佳译举例:
— Brown apologizes for approving sailors’story-selling deal
— UK Defense Minister apologizes for sailors’ cash-for-stories deal

22.美国耗费巨资推行“青少年禁欲计划”惨遭失败
注:禁欲”出现了很多译法,如acetic; keeping off sex plan; youth ascetic plan; teenagers’ no-sex program等。但“青少年禁欲计划”是美国影响很大的一个计划,网上很容易查到其英语名称:abstinence-only-until-mariage programs,简化为 abstinence-only programs。大家翻译成abstinence programs,也说得过去。把“耗费巨资”译为money-devouring (programs)不太符合英语的习惯,用一个形容词costly即可。“失败”译成falls apart/ falls flat都很好。
佳译举例:
— America fails to suppress adolescent sexual passion;
— Large sums wasted on abstinence-only programs for teens;
— US teen abstinence programs a costly flop

23.英国患癌母亲产下双胞胎男婴
注:“母亲”在英文中也应注意措词。已怀孕而并尚未产下小孩的女性能否称为mother呢?要视不同的社会文化而定。“产子”一般可译为give birth to/ deliver,但译成lay就不好了。“双胞胎男婴”:twins/ majority/ twin boys都不错,twin brothers是灵活的佳译。
患癌母亲:British mom with cancer/ cancer-suffering mother/ cancer-stricken mother
佳译举例:
— UK cancer sufferer becomes mother of twin boys

24.美国总统候选人喜男扮女装
注:“男扮女装”或“女扮男装”:cross dressing。专指男扮女装的词汇有dress in drag和 drag queen。在所有的作业中,无人选择dress in drag或 drag queen,只有彭林一人正确使用了cross dressing。
佳译举例:
— US male presidential candidates like to dress as woman;
— W. House hopeful likes disguising as woman;
— acting as a female
— …takes to women’s clothing
— …likes to disguise himself as woman
— US Presidential Candidates In for Disguising as Female;
— US presidential candidate likes cross dressing;
— US presidential candidate a drag queen或…delights in dressing in drag

25. 美弗吉尼亚理工大学学生网上对话披露枪击案细节
注:“披露”译成reveal/ disclose都可以,let on也不错。英文标题翻译以简洁明了为宜,尤其要注意适当的省略,注意动词和介词的运用。
佳译举例:
— Shooting details revealed via… cyber chat
— Web chat lets on shooting details;
— US Virginia Tech students disclose shooting rampage details in Net chat

[ Last edited by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 10:25 PM ]

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Post time 2009-5-1 23:18:10 |Display all floors

铁路提速

铁路提速 用speedup 不太好。speedup 很口语化,而且可以指火车本身加速。用rail-speed upgrade 会好些。

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Post time 2009-5-3 19:40:11 |Display all floors
Originally posted by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 22:14

21.英国国防大臣就水兵“故事换金钱”一事正式道歉
:“国防大臣”也出现了误译,成为Defense Secretary,很不应该。这是不难查到的说法,还是请大家注意专用名称的翻译的准确性。有的译者直接用英国现任国防大臣的姓名来代替,不失为一种灵活的译法。
佳译举例:
— Brown apologizes for approving sailors’story-selling deal
— UK Defense Minister apologizes for sailors’ cash-for-stories deal

这一条有点麻烦。专有名称的翻译,只能是名从主人,而英国的国防大臣,既可以称 UK defence minister,也可以称 British Defense Secretary. “这是不难查到的说法”。

British defense minister blasts NATO over force
Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:11pm EDT  Email | Print | Share| Reprints | Single Page[-] Text [+]
  
1 of 2Full SizeBy Andrea Shalal-Esa

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - British Defense Secretary John Hutton on Thursday blasted NATO's inability to fully fund a rapid response force of 25,000 troops, and said the alliance needed a "radical transformation" to adapt to new threats.

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