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is my sister justified [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-4-22 06:17:36 |Display all floors
My sister who lives in Athens bought a nice flat in a greek island.She spends one month in summer in theis summer house while it remains closed for eleven months.
Some days ago I asked her if she would give me the key to stay in her house with my family for ten days in summer.
I got shocked when I heard her answer which was NO.
I could not believe in my ears.I did not expect a negative answer from her.

I remember some years ago she was complaining because a cousin of us had his  summer house closed and never told my sister to stay for a few days in his  house.
Now ,she has got  a summer house and she is doing exactly the same to me.

To be honest I was not serious when I asked for the key because I would have no time to visit the island this summer .
I got really shocked.How could my own sister say no to me.She forgot for so many years when my children were small and she was not married ,we rented a summer house so that the children would go swimming
and my husband accepeted to rent a bigger house in order to include my sister.My sister was never away from us in the summer.
She was not married so she was part of my family.She had free holidays each summer and both my husband and I  we did it with pleasure and all our heart.

When I asked her why she does not give me the key she answered that their flat was new so she did not want anybody else to stay .

My eyes filled with tears which of course she did not notice.I did not say a word to her.
I still continue to be near her since she has got some health problems ,I will never express my compaint to her.
However something has broken in my heart.She will always be my sister ,I will be near her ,I know she loves me as much as I do but she added a nail in my heart which I will never forget.
Perhaps if she knew how much she hurt me she would try to correctr her mistake.Unfortunately I will never tell her about my compaint.
I will keep it in my heart even if it is poisoning me.

I would like to hear from you that I am exaggerating and that she is right while I am wrong.
I need to hear something like that.
Your comments please
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Post time 2009-4-22 08:30:30 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2009-4-22 06:17
My sister who lives in Athens bought a nice flat in a greek island.She spends one month in summer in theis summer house while it remains closed for eleven months.
Some days ago I asked her if she  ...


Hi, Xilaren. It's quite late in your country, why don't you go to bed? I hope it doesn't because of the problem you've met now.:) After I read your post, I have the same feeling as you. If my brother or sister does that to me, I will feel sad and disappointed. I really admire you because of your patience and thoughtfulness. If I were you, I think I cann't control myself to argue with my sister. As you said that your sister has health problems now, maybe she didn't mean to hurt you, she may have some reasons. If your sister is a gentle and very kind lady, I think she will know your feeling. So, please don't feel too upset or sad. Have a sweet dream!

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Post time 2009-4-22 15:54:23 |Display all floors

The family builds our character

I cannot get along with my siblings because we all have different personalities. Every time we meet to discuss anything, we end up quarelling and my brother would even want to fight with me. Yet, despite all these, we still feel there is bond that binds us together. It is the family bond. It is said we cannot choose our family because fate has given them to us. I believe there is a reason for this. By going through the trials and heartaches, we learn about love for each other. This is the kind of love that is beyond comprehension or logical reasoning. This helps to build our character. This is a special kind of love. This is true love. It has nothing to do with sentiments or romance which are fleeting and changes with circumstances. I hope you will experience the same thing.

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Post time 2009-4-22 16:14:17 |Display all floors
don't keep it in your heart, i think, you'd better to tell your sister what's your feeling of being refused, you have complaint and sad of NO.
to keep warm relationship, contact and talk your heart each other is useful and best.
good luck to you

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Post time 2009-4-22 16:15:33 |Display all floors

Reply #1 xilaren's post

it is not worth depressing. Your sister is not worthwhile!

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Post time 2009-4-22 17:42:27 |Display all floors
Originally posted by He Lian at 2009-4-22 08:30


Hi, Xilaren. It's quite late in your country, why don't you go to bed? I hope it doesn't because of the problem you've met now.:) After I read your post, I have the same feeling as you. If my b ...


I can not be angry with people when they hurt me deeply..I have a different reaction.
I keep my sadness deep in my heart .
This is not the key and the flat itself that upset me.In reality I would have no time to go and stay.
What hurt me is her way of thinking.
When she said No I automatically saw clearly that my sister did not feel the same as I did for her.
For me everything which is mine can be hers as well.
My house is her house ,my children are her children ,everything in my life included her.
I have shown that to her with my deeds since she was a little child because she was always weak and dependent on me.
Her answer No for me was not simply a negative answer for the flat itself.
No means for me distance in heart and this is what hurt me.
I will never of course ask her again.I will never explain and talk about my complaint.
I have not changed my behaviour towards her but I must confess that my heart is less warm than it used to be.
She will never understand it.Only me will know .

You guessed well.It was late in Greece when I wrote.
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Post time 2009-4-22 17:44:19 |Display all floors
Originally posted by alfaable at 2009-4-22 16:15
it is not worth depressing. Your sister is not worthwhile!

I can not say she is not worthy.She is a kind lady.She loves me I know.This negative answer to me hides some feelings which I did not expect ,it is true and I am really sorry.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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