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Are You a Victim of Singlism at Work?(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-4-7 00:00:24 |Display all floors
Are You a Victim of Singlism at Work?
By Single Edition (View Profile)

How to Bust a Workplace Bully

At my last position in Corporate America, I was on the receiving end of a bully executive who was well entrenched with our CEO. This duplicitous “mean girl,” ironically a movie she always cited, victimized many with her vicious rumor-spreading, mockery, and verbal intimidation. With me, her point of attack was almost always aimed at my solo status. A salary increase was denied due to my “stylish wardrobe,” which she felt was lavishly excessive, so too was an office of my own and several bonus hikes, which my married peers with lesser degrees and profit margins all received.  


Bella Depaulo, author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored and Still Live Happily Ever After, sees individuals who are targets of discrimination as victims of “singlism.” Almost every organization has a corporate bully, but individuals, especially the most accomplished and successful, are increasingly being mistreated by their superiors and peers in the workplace. According to the research we at SingleEdition uncovered, bullies tend to be fueled by envy and resentment, which is typically brought out by high performing, well-liked employees who possess strong values and integrity.

  《被单独出来:单身者如何被扣定型、被污蔑及被忽视同时永远快乐地生活着》一书的作者将那些被歧视目标定为个人的”单独主义”受害者。几乎每个企业都有一个企业暴力者,可是个人尤其那些最为成功、最有成绩的人越来越会在职场上被上级、同仁虐待。根据在SingleEdition 网站上发现的研究表明,暴力者通常是因为嫉妒和怨恨,而这些典型地由于表现优异,被受人们喜爱、价值观强、有人格的员工所引发。

So what can those who are being bullied do?

1. Realize it is not your fault. Like most bullies, mine was ridiculing me to destroy my self confidence and to make other employees disrespect me. For a long time I convinced myself that I was being too sensitive. Once I recognized the behavior for what it was, I was able to relinquish all self-blame and stopped questioning my professional conduct (and wardrobe.)

1. 意识到这不是你的错。和多数暴力者一样,我的这位曾经嘲笑我来破坏我的自信心,让别的员工瞧不起我。很长时间,我对自己说服我太敏感。一旦我认识到这种行为其实的面目,我就立刻能放弃一切自责,停止质疑自己的职业行为(还有衣橱)2.

2. Confide in trusted co-worker(s). Keeping quiet about a bully’s behavior only makes it worse. After confiding in a few trusted co-workers, it became evident that I was not this mean girl’s sole victim. Turned out she was antagonizing many of the unmarried high-achieving women in the office. While we never pursued a formal complaint, we had enough evidence as a collective group to pursue legal redress.

2. 向可信的同事倾述。对暴力者行为保持沉默只会让它恶化。在和几位可信朋友倾述后,显然,我不是这个刻薄女孩的唯一受害者。结果她对办公室里许多未婚女强人都采取对抗。虽然我们并没有追述一个正式的投诉,我们有了足够的证据集体追述法律补救。

3. Make sure to keep a record. Lucky for me, a friend of mine who is an attorney instructed me to keep detailed notes. I logged everything in an electronic file at work and backed it up on my home computer, including a list of individuals who were witness to those events.

3. 确保做好记录。 对我来说幸运的是,我的一位律师朋友教导我做详细记录。我将一切都记在一份工作电子文档中,并在家中电脑上备份,其中包括目睹了那些事件的个人名单。

4. Don’t retaliate. Sure, there were moments when I wanted to tell her she resembled a troll (you heard it here first) and days where I considered sending a nasty gift to her attention to the office. Despite the strong urge, I refrained from striking back. Walking away with grace and style left my bully more defeated every time.


5. File a formal complaint. In most cases, the only way to stop workplace bullying is through a formal complaint. Wait until you have gathered enough evidence to show that you are being bullied before you make a complaint to your supervisor, boss, or human resources person. This will prevent the bully claiming that there has been a misunderstanding. Make your complaint in writing and keep a copy for yourself. Include all the records and other evidence that you have been collecting along with the names of any witnesses.

5. 正式投诉。大多数情况下,唯一阻止职场暴力的方法是通过正式投诉。在你收集到了足够证明表明你遭受暴力后再向你的上级、老板或人力进行投诉。这会预防施暴者宣称有误会。以书面的形式并保留一份副本。附上所有的记录及一直以来收集到的其它证据,以及任何目击人的名称。

As for me, this June marks the one-year anniversary since I resigned from my role at that company. Today I know for certain that I am living happily ever after and being compensated accordingly, which I know I cannot say about the former, supposedly happily married bully I left behind.


(the end)
Happy 牛 Year~!

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Post time 2009-4-8 12:00:41 |Display all floors


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Post time 2009-4-8 12:44:28 |Display all floors
Thank you for your reply :-)
Happy 牛 Year~!

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