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i can share my personal experience on this. |
I have been friends with a guy for more than 7years. i believe we never liked each other. just good friends. we spent time in watching movies together, had meals or sometimes share interesting places we found by ourselves with each other. i had bf and he had gfs, one by one. when he broke up with his gf, he would talk with me, talking his feeling. normally i did nothing, just listened, no comment, and waited to have meals together once he stopped talking his heart-breaking.
then we went to different places because we worked in different cities. phone calls sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, or once in three months, depending on our own situation, our life and our job's stability. If everything went right in each's life, no call, or one call in a long time. 3 years run out like this. i got new bf, my life changed a lot because of something. and his the same. new gf, new job, new city. last year, we only had about 5 calls, calls in special holidays, just greetings.
even like that, i still believe he was my best friend, a lifetime friend with no gender to me, by that time.
recently, we met. he travelled to my city. we spent about 2 hours in a cafe and just like before, he talked a lot, and i just listened. but i felt awful this time.
he talked many things about his business entertainment things. many guys might understand, what business entertainment thing means, taking your business partner or clients to have fun. i was sales before, and i of course understand what those things mean, and i was not asking him to let me know or tell me sth about his business entertainment. we even did not talk to that topic. but he just talked. talked a lot. he told me many things that were dirty and i do not want to listen. I think, he treated me as a best friend, and he was sharing sth with his best friend, a friend no gender to him.
he even did not think that i am a girl, i am not curious about those dirty things, or i shall not know those dirty things. even though i knew, but i do not want to talk those dirty things to a guy, to a male!
i felt hurt. that was my true feeling on my way home. i do not think i can bear a man talking about how to enjoy a prostitute and how joyful or awful with a prostitute with me. that was disgusting. I felt quite sad after we met. I think i could not be his friend anymore. and this thing made me reconsider the relationship between a female and male. i never want to be a best friend to a male, never. maybe a friend is fairly good, no best male friend any more!