Author: Andy99

My Chinese Girlfriend Troubles. [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2010-1-11 09:32:36 |Display all floors
Originally posted by Andy99 at 2009-1-18 12:22

I am a BBC (British Born Chinese) living in the UK and for about 2 years now I have been seeing my girlfriend which is from China (Shanghai). She came over to study and we have known each ot ...

if its that difficult you shouldnt continue, there's heaps more girls out there. relationship is about relationship. you need to get along with her family, her family needs to get along with you, she needs to get along with your family, your family needs to get along with her.

money? get rid of her. love is not about money. you both need to be working to buy a home and raise kids, thats mandatory but the responsibilities have to be equal with both effort and funding.

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Post time 2010-1-13 23:51:54 |Display all floors
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Post time 2010-1-14 03:51:49 |Display all floors

Be fair and considerate

Don't forget that girls marry and they raise children.  If you are a man, a husband, do you spend half of your time raising your children?

To be fair, the husband earns money, the wife gets pregnant, gives birth to a baby, nurses the baby throughout the day, takes extra care when baby gets ill, and so on. It is a full-time job.

Two full time jobs, one is earning money, the other is raising children and cooking your meals.  Both are full time jobs, different jobs, but fair.  So, be happy that it is fair.

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Post time 2010-1-15 14:49:40 |Display all floors
Here is the truth you want:

In China, gf visits bf's family  too, too,too often.
So the culture thing is just an excuse.
I am native chinese.

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Post time 2010-1-15 17:23:12 |Display all floors

Reply #38 myfriend's post

both person's get married, not one

both person's make a baby, not one

both person's raise a baby, not one

both person's work, not one

actually i may have shot myself in the foot because there is the habit of parents helping take care of the baby while both husband and wife continue their career

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Post time 2010-1-17 01:51:51 |Display all floors
Samething of my white friend in US came to Shanghai in 2001 to teach english and also wanting to find a Chinese wife at the same time. He then met one and after two years, he married her and bought her back to US. He even learned mandarin so he can speak with her parent. After they arrived in US,  she disappeared and leaving their children with him. Now he is in US alone.. supporting the children by himself. Last time I heard he said he found her back in China , married to a rich local guy with 2 kids too.

All im saying not all SH girls are like that, but there are some like this out there.

[ Last edited by helloworld23 at 2010-1-17 01:55 AM ]

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Post time 2010-1-22 14:03:27 |Display all floors
It's difficult to say.

First, China has a vast national land with varieties of provinces and districts, whose cultures are sometimes totally different from each others.

Second, your question is quite individual. Take myself an example. I don't like to visit friends' houses, as it may bother them and keep them busy because they're supposed to prepare something for me(This is really Chinese culture, we always serve some cookies and drinks for our guests and try our best to make them home). And they have to clean their houses after I leave.
My friends and I used to hang  out and stay in pubs.

Maybe your girlfriend is too bashful. Take it easy.

Besides, Hong Kong culture is totally not the same as Shanghai culture. I am from Jiangsu province, which locates near Shanghai. And I have been in Hong Kong for 5 years. Still, I haven't got myself used to the life here.

Don't be too worry, pretty girls are everywhere.

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