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You Know You have been in China too Long. When............ [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-12-3 20:24:01 |Display all floors
You know you've lived in China too long when..............

-someone says ’snack’, you think: salted cuttlefish.
-The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
-You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day.
-You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply “Up To You”.
-Hookers buy you drinks.
-You get your first case of bronchitis and you have never smoked a cigarette in your life.
-You can swear in 3 different dialects.
-You stop enjoying telling newcomers to China “all about China”.
-You are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you’ll probably never ever meet her again.
- You think it’s alright to stick your head into a stranger’s apartment to see if anybody’s home.
-You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there’s room for two more.
-Smoking is one of the dinner courses.
-You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
-Chinese stop you on the street to ask for directions.
-People who haven’t seen you for months don’t ask where you’ve been.
-Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding.
-Pizza just doesn’t taste right unless there’s sweet corn and peas on it.
-Eating at “Western” restaurants, you wait until after dessert to drink your soup.
-You can make elevators go faster by boarding first and taking over the controls.
-You (men) roll your shirt up to your nipples in hot weather.
-You have a purse and you are male.
-You would never think of entering your house without first removing your shoes.
-You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.
-You cannot say “Call me.” without making a pretend phone with your fingers and sticking to your ear.
-You think your nose IS kind of big.
-You forgot the real purpose of the mirrors in the car.
-You think the head lights for the car are only to see the street so it’s more safe to switch on the high beam always.
-You start to enjoy warm beer.
-You think that Yao Ming is the best basketball player in the NBA.
-You instinctively shake out your clothes before wearing to remove any dust from drying on your balcony.
-You don’t blink an eye when a complete stranger wants to take a photo of you with his family.
-You know the words to all the KTV songs (English and Chinese).
-You start correcting Southerners on their Putonghua.
-When you can’t imagine a meal without yi wan mi fan! (a bowl of rice).
-When you go back to your home country and you find it odd that when going out to a restaurant, you don’t have 5 wait staff welcoming you at the same time.
-You find it strange when everyone’s food at a restaurant is brought out at the same time.
-you answer your phone with "waiiiii"
-you say "aiyaa" frequently
-you cross highways without looking
-You think seatbelts are sort of uncomfortable
-You drive with no headlights as the street lights are on.
-You do not need a hanky, hack it up with the roar of a male lion and spit.
-Your empty fag pack is held just above waist level and deftly flicked away with contempt.
-You always walk in a straight line for people coming towards you as they will give way.
-You always weave across the pavement when someone is behind you trying to get past.
-You always walk through the middle of any group.
- You shout on the phone in confined spaces to ensure no one misses your important information.
-You get in the lift before anyone can get out.
- You wait for someone else at door apartment block security doors to key it open and push through before them.
-You make enquiries in banks to the cashier whilst they are serving someone else.
-You walk in the road as it is safer than the pavement.
-You make loud slurping or eating noises to make the food taste better.
-You make conversation more sociable with half a bowl of rice in your mouth.
-You push other people's shopping trolleys out of your path.
-You are used to waiting for the shop attendant to go to the shop next door to get your change.
-You wear plastic shopping bags in your fake Gucci shoes to act as wellington boots.
-You practice your saxophone with all your windows and doors open.
-You have a conversation to someone on the 10th floor from the car park.

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Post time 2008-12-4 04:09:05 |Display all floors

stop EXPOSIN yourself like that...

we all know what we are...no need for us to know what you are  

BTW...i say aiyo but not aiya  

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Medal Medal of honor Gold Medal July's Best Writer 2012 October's Best Writer 2012

Post time 2008-12-4 10:46:00 |Display all floors

pjtran

aiyaa.  

Zhen bao yisi.

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