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How to deal with your mother-in-law? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-11-18 15:43:15 |Display all floors
We often read articles and posts on the Internet concerning the relationship between a woman and her mother-in-law. Those who exposed their stories often can't handle the relation well with each other. The wives always think their husbands are too loyal to their mothers, don't understand their wives. The mothers-in-law, also believe their sons don't treat them as well as before, they tend to "ignore their mothers" after getting married.

I think this problem happens in China and other Confucian countries because traditionally, a woman is educated to totally obey her husbband and his famlily after married. There's an old saying, "When you're single, you obey your father. If your father passes away, you should obey your brother. After getting married, you must obey your husband". But this is common in the old society in which women were not allowed to work to support themselves, so they had to listen to their husbands to make a living. In today's world, including China, women are more and more independent, they don't need to do what their husbands want them to do. However, the older generation, like those monters-in-law and some husbands are male chauvinists. Their feudatorial thinkings are dangerous for the family.

The problem of women and their mothers-in-law lasts for thousands of years in China, and maybe will continue to exist in the next century. Do you have some ideas to ease the tension between the two groups of women?

[ Last edited by souvenir at 2008-12-9 09:21 AM ]

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Post time 2008-11-18 16:19:56 |Display all floors
I agree with you, the relationship between women and their mothers-in-law is a problem with chinese characteristic. whether you can get well with you mother in law depends on whether she is kindhearted or not. so, before marriage, you must open your eyes to his family members clearly. because is not just a matter of two person but a matter of two families

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Post time 2008-11-19 04:53:58 |Display all floors
In China the man loves his Mother more than his wife... The Mother in Law knows this and will always take advantage of this....The wife cannot win..

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-11-19 09:34:46 |Display all floors
I think the husband has to put himself in a proper position. He cannot criticize his wife in front of his mother and vice versa. He must comment on issues rationally and be justic, from some perspective, he's the judge of the family. If the husband can do this, the problems between mother and wife will be fewer and fewer.
I am a Beijing girl.

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Post time 2008-11-19 10:30:42 |Display all floors
Of course,there always have difference beteween mother and mother-in-law,not all the mothers-in-law are virtuous and not all the mothers-in-law are wicked,so somtimes whether you can deal with the relationship between them well depends on a person's empressement,treat them with your heart...

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Post time 2008-11-19 23:05:01 |Display all floors
Originally posted by polaris1120 at 2008-11-19 09:34
I think the husband has to put himself in a proper position. He cannot criticize his wife in front of his mother and vice versa. He must comment on issues rationally and be justic, from some perspe ...


A Chinese husband will always  always take the side of his mother....He cares about his mother more than his wife...That is why Chinese woman want to have sons, so when he grows up, he will take better care of her ,then he does his wife...and it goes round and round...

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Post time 2008-11-20 11:30:50 |Display all floors
both change their mind

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