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Funny English [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-8-2 16:11:32 |Display all floors
  You need money to call someone Honey.
  My money got me a wife honey.
  Money; Cant live with it, cant live without it.
  Money is a good servant but a bad master.
  Money makes the mare go.
  Money burn one's pocket.
  Money doesn't grow on trees.
  Your money or your life!

  In conclusion,
  marry money,you can make the money fly
  Fly your money, please
Enjoy your fly

  1.Clawed lobsters compose a family of large marine crustaceans.
  Here's everything from Red Lobster restaurant menus to locations and prepaid gift cards and recipes - all online and easy to find.
  2.Your true love that you will always say...
  You are my lobster
  He is my lobster
  She is my lobster
  3.A slang term for the Australian $20 note due to it's orangey/red colour.
  I was at the casino and chucked a lobster down on black and it came up good!
  4.A prank to play on an unsuspecting female friend. You approach her silently from behind, and with both hands reach around and tweak her nipples, and yell "Lobster!" She will probably freak out and scream -- this is the desired effect.
  I gave her the lobster as payback for the scorpion she gave me earlier.
  5.A derogotory term used by American colonists reffering to British soldiers during the American revolutionbecause of their bright red uniforms.
  I shot me a couple of the king's lobsters.
  To watch the bigest funny lobster of the world|videoid:2966|language:en_GB|theme:default

3)Blond n Blonde(金发美女)         
  Blond is not the incorrect way of spelling blonde. A blond is a man with blond hair. Blonde is a woman with blond hair. Same as a brunet is a man brunet and a brunette is a woman brunet.
  A common trend in modern times is for people to dye their hair blond using a certain hair coloring agent. This trend is due to the depictions of blondes as symbols of beauty and attraction in the art and media outlets.
  Oh, look over there. A blonde!
  Yes, her hair is a rich golden color.
  ur blonde, ur sexy, u have big boobs i bet, can i c them
  Give me a chance...

   A person engaging in planning and execution of heinous acts intended to kill innocent people and scare everyone else.
  "The terrorist attempted to hijack the plane, but the other passengers pinned him down and stomped him until his heart stopped."
  Terrorist Alert
  Recently we have received credible intelligence that
  there have been seven terrorists working in your office.
  Fortunately, six of the seven have been apprehended.
  Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Behind-Kissin have all been taken into custody.
  At this time, no one fitting the description of the seventh cell member, Bin Workin, has been found at your office.
  We are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
  You are OBVIOUSLY not a suspect at this time.
The funniest terrorist of the world...  

5)Go on a date(约会)
  Go on a date can be scary. They can also be fun. The scary / fun part depends on your idea of a good time and your date’s idea of normal.
  Most of us go on a date pretty confident, we’re not about to meet our soul mate, but always hope there’s enough of a connection to make putting on make-up and those tight jeans worth it.
  The only thing is, if you’re not big into internet profiles and don’t have a lot of friends trying to go all Yenta on you, blind dates don’t actually happen that often.
  Here is a man wanna go on a date with a blonde...
  What happened then?


cause to crowd together too much;
"The students overcrowded the cafeteria"

crowd together too much, to gather together in large numbers;
It would overcrowd his department and spoil the record he was trying to make--but he said not a word except All Right.

See Extremely Overcrowded Indian Train...

Do you speak English?
7) Funny English
??Not long after that I went on a blind date arranged for me by one of the guys in my game group. I'd seen the girl a couple of times before at gaming conventions but had never summoned up the courage to speak to her. Hey, she was very pretty and I was a little shy.
  My friend thought himself a bit of a matchmaker and had arranged for the girl and I to meet at an amusement park.
  We first went for a ride on the ferris wheel. After the ride she seemed rather bored.
  "What would you like to do next?" I asked.
  "I wanna be weighed," she said.
  So I took her over to the weight guesser.
  "58 kilograms," said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.
  Next we rode the roller coaster. After that, I bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then I asked what else she would like to do.
  "I wanna be weighed," she said.
  My friend had certainly set me up with a weird one, I thought, so using the excuse I had developed a headache, I took the girl home.
  When we arrived at her house, the girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
  "Wousy," said the girl.
  I could have kicked myself.


8) bloodsucker

500 year ago, the Count. Vlad Dracula is a prince of Romania.

The Countess. Elizabeth ended up her life, who thought he was dead in the battle.

It was thorough sorrow to Dracula to lose his beloved.

Since then., human blood had became his vital needs.

500 years later,
Dracula re-encounters a girl who looks like her wife….Mina…

Love story

9)I love you as the mouse love the rice


if the sun forgets shining

if the moon forgets lighting

if the fishes forget swimming

if the wind forgets blowing

if the heart forgets breathing

if the cloud forgets crying and

if the birds forget flying

u have 2 be sure that i can never forget u


??An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.
  When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.
  "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.
  "I had to slap his face three times!"
  "You mean he got fresh?"
  "No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"

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