Author: heroodle

余光中《尺素寸心》(节选)译   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2011-12-14 22:35:54 |Display all floors
用词真是可圈可点,形象真切

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Post time 2011-12-16 17:17:04 |Display all floors
i like it.

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Post time 2011-12-21 12:18:29 |Display all floors
嗯/牜b〆√ Post time: 2011-12-14 22:35
用词真是可圈可点,形象真切

谢谢您的鼓励:)

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Post time 2011-12-21 15:05:42 |Display all floors
这种题材的文章最难翻了,咱也不是啥高手,就是喜欢指指点点,就大言不惭的品评一下吧。

总体来说感觉翻译的还是挺好的。不过有些地方如果自己处理可能会有不同之处吧:

1、理论上说来,这些信当然是要回的。Conventionally, the letters will certainly be replied.
这一句其实可以直译 In theory, these letters should have been replied. 或者更好一些,用主动语态 In theory, I should have replied these letters.  这里用虚拟语态更好,因为从文章来看,“他想回,但是没回”。

2. 问题出在技术上。The problem is how to reply.这样翻译也没有错误。不过既然原文说“技术”上,所以完全可以说I am hampered by technicalities.

3.  其实,即使终于鼓起全部的道德勇气,坐在桌前,准备偿付信债于万一,也不是轻易能如愿的。 这一句,我倾向于考虑用虚拟语态来处理,Even if I could pick up the courage (pull sb together 有整理好自己情绪的意思,一般比如在人情绪激动或者酒醉的时候用,个人感觉用在这里不好) to sit at the desk, ready to pay back a small part of the debt that I owe...

Pay off 是一般全部清偿的意思,这里只是说偿还“于万一”

4. (from Calling on a Hermit in Vain by Jia Dao) 这句诗要是想解释清楚的话,为什么不解释的全面一些呢?因为只说Jia Dao,翻译给外国人看的话,他们还是不知道是谁。

其他的如果自己翻的话,可能在用语上也会有不同之处,不过太懒了,也只能厚颜地在这儿说说自己认为更好的地方吧。

仅供讨论。

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Post time 2012-1-5 17:05:20 |Display all floors
goldengrove Post time: 2011-12-21 15:05
这种题材的文章最难翻了,咱也不是啥高手,就是喜欢指指点点,就大言不惭的品评一下吧。

总体来说感觉翻译 ...

谢谢详尽的译文解析和建议

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Post time 2012-1-9 09:17:52 |Display all floors
You seemed to only response to those replies who say you are good....

Chinese try very hard to make foreigners to understand in their mother tongue,but it is a tough job, Chinese should take care of the works in Chinese, let the English speaker mind their translation.

A Hong Kong local tries to follow the pattern of Northeastern China comdians, that is very weird.

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Post time 2012-1-10 16:20:15 |Display all floors
This post was edited by heroodle at 2012-1-10 16:20
kevinruud Post time: 2012-1-9 09:17
You seemed to only response to those replies who say you are good....

Chinese try very hard to  ...


无论好评或差评
能勾勒圈点并指出提高意见的评论最有价值,您说呢?
所以,当遇到好的建议时,向之学习;
当对比之后,我仍希望保留自己的译文时,道之感谢。

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