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Before you fall in love with China... [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-5-21 15:04:49 |Display all floors
There are a lot of people coming to China, most for a short trip, some staying longer to study. How should they prepare for a culture possibly wildly different from their own? Here is someone from America giving some suggestion... I found it one day on Wondering how you find this and what suggestion you'd give...

"Time and time again, I've seen young western guys come here, start hitting the bar and nightlife scene and within three months have a girlfriend that practically lives with the guy. Now, I'm not saying "don't" fall in love with a Chinese girl, hell, I did and it's wonderful. What I am saying is don't do it too quickly before you even know how to order food by yourself.

In general, except for one night stands, a typical American guy has to go through a lot just to win over a girl's attention. That's why there are so many comedies in Hollywood about dating, it's just not easy. Then he comes to China and it can be overwhelming for the guy as to how much attention he may get without even trying. Next thing you know, he's got a girlfriend and he's just stunted his growth in learning about this culture because know he's confused about the complexities of his new situation... trying to understand his girlfriend.

Maybe she speaks English fairly well... well, it'll make it that much more difficult to learn about Chinese culture. You can't study the culture from a book or from one person... you've got to eat and breathe and live it everyday for quite some time before you can even get a handle on it... in my humble opinion. At first glance, the differences in culture may not look huge but once you start to understand the language more and more, you realize, there's a lot to learn because it is in fact rather huge.

And Chinese women, they may be shy about some things but I've seen a lot of aggressive Chinese women. When they want something, they go for it. I love that about them but if a new guy doesn't understand it, he'll just follow the first lead he gets just because it seems fun and then he'll realize it's a bit more serious than that and he still can't order food by himself.

My advice for the semester guy is make as many friends as possible but if you really want to learn some culture, go by yourself to places and make new friends who can't speak English and learn the hard way.

...Hoped that answered your question Marlene... I couldn't think of an easy way to answer it... as for falling in love with China, I do... I think it's hard not to..."

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Rank: 4

Post time 2008-5-21 15:55:51 |Display all floors
i am a  chinese,on my  understanding    of  culture,i  think  it  is  not  huge  gap  between  western  and  eastern.i  read  some novels by  western writers,when  i  met  some religion  problem happened  in novels  ,which would make me  puzzled.the  human being  is  same on lots  of  things,the diffirent  maybe in logic,custom like favorite  food,how  to  deal  with  something according  the  rules of nation.but i  think  the civilization  need all of  people in  this  world  work  hard  to  get,sometimes it  is  difficult  to  distinguish  which is  primitive,or civilized.some  people  are  primitive ,without  thoughts  and  morality.

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Post time 2008-5-21 17:41:59 |Display all floors
i agree with you that everywhere you could find some people who are primitive or lack morality... And that we are all human beings, whether we are from the east or the west...

But it seems to me there is a huge gap between different cultures. I learn English and I try to understand their thought. But no matter how hard I try, there are many things on which we are just different. And it's not just the language or the choice between KFC or rice noodles.  

And when learning all these difference, you need to be very patient. It wouldn't happen overnight or just through one incident. I think that's the writer of what I had posted was saying. You need to go deeper into the life of another culture. Many times, it is through adventures and misunderstanding that you learn. And you'd be changed, somehow....

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