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SHould we sacrifice a life in order to make people happy? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-5-15 04:05:33 |Display all floors
These days I have been in serious thoughts about what a stupid way of life I have been  having..

From my early childhood  I carried the obligation to make my mother happy and accomplish her own dreams.
Although she was a woman with deep religious and moral principles at the same time she was an ambitious person ,things that created me  a strong obligation  to try hard to make her happy and accomplish her
own dreams.
To cut the long story short ,since I was an obedient child ,I followed her  own dreams.
I became a teacher because she wanted to be a teacher and she did not manage.
I wanted to become a singer in opera  because I had the talent  ,she did not allow me.

I always heard her complaining about the poor life she had so it was me who tried hard to take her out of poverty .
Then her desire was to get married to a husband of status which again I did.
Since my childhood I have been in an eternal effort to make other people happy.
I managed very well in everything and I was under the impression that I had a happy life until one day I fell in love with somebody.These feelings have made me see reality and what a tasteless life I have been living all these years in my effort to make others happy except myself.
I can not confess that to anybody because people will consider me as ungrateful to life.
Nobody is ever going to understand.
Living in order to make other people happy is such a stupid behaviour.And life itself is so tough.We need to be prepared about it .
I have not been taught to love myself.I have learned to love others more than myself.
Please your comments.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 04:25:15 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2008-5-15 04:05
These days I have been in serious thoughts about what a stupid way of life I have been  having..

From my early childhood  I carried the obligation to make my mother happy and accomplish her own  ...


If you enjoy making people happy regardless of your own happiness...why not continue?

If you are not happy making people happy...why continue?   

There is a middle ground...you can sometimes make people happy and sometimes make yourself happy...some people can't live a middle ground life...are you such a person?

Are you in a position to live your own preferred life...if not...when is the right time for that to happen?...6 months?...a year?...two years from now?

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Post time 2008-5-15 06:33:10 |Display all floors
Originally posted by thunderbird at 2008-5-15 04:25


If you enjoy making people happy regardless of your own happiness...why not continue?

If you are not happy making people happy...why continue?   

There is a middle ground ...



I will answer all your questions one by one.
I can not continue making people happy without making myself.No way.That part of myself has died  for ever.

Doing only myself happy ignoring all the others is something I can not bear.
I am going to find the middle ground as you said.I know very well what to do .I am going to combine things.
I have already started this procedure and it has worked well after much effort of course .
Everything is difficult in the beginning.We teach people how to behave to us.
One great step of mine is going to China this summer for one month.I have tried hard to manage it but now it is solved for ever and accepted .

I can not be born again and become an opera singer.I can not change the past .I can correct the present though.I know very well how to arrange things without creating a serious problem to people.
I am still young and active and I have the power to do miracles if I do something that I love.

You see nobody is going to thank me for what I have done because nobody has ever thanked me yet.
Neither my mother had ever thanked me for being such an obedient and hard working child ,neither my husband for being such a hard working wife neither my children.

On the contrary ,for whatever I have done tey say that it was my obligation and for what I have neglected I should be feeling guilty.
I was not born in order to make all the others' dreams any more and live a tasteless life.
You see my plans are on their way.My first priority is my business success ,still making money and at the same time follow my dreams.

Unfortunately I can not become an opera singer haha.My previous nice voice has been destroyed by teaching for such a long time.
Never mind as I told you I am not going to change that past but I am going to correct the present.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 06:46:39 |Display all floors
making  people  happy  is  one  kind  of  your  ability.

i  have  not  that  ability  to  make  people  happy.i  adore  you!

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Post time 2008-5-15 07:01:28 |Display all floors
I try the best i can to make my family happy because they are happy---> I am happy. I would not do eveything they want me to do but most of it.

If you dont care much about what ppl around you want, you just focus on making yourself happy they will leave you alone by yourself do whatever you wanna do. How could a person be happy without loving, caring and suporting from their family.
What is quality in modern management?

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Post time 2008-5-15 07:10:58 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2008-5-15 06:33



I will answer all your questions one by one.
I can not continue making people happy without making myself.No way.That part of myself has died  for ever.

Doing only myself happy ignoring a ...

I did not answer your question about the right time.
Well the right time started as soon as I realised what true love means and what real happiness is.
When you have tasted them you do not want to lose them then that is the right time.

I am not going to bring everything upside down.Oh no.I have already started.Oh I have the guts.I confess it.
I have already started.I am not going to hurt anybody abruptly.Skillful and careful movements are going to be my guide.
To give you an example ,before doing something in the past the first thing I was thinking was,what my mother will say if I do something ,then my husband will say ,what my mother in law will say ,what the  friends willlsay etc.
Now the first thing I do is thinking about what is going to make me happy by following my heart.
At the same time I have convinced my family to accept it.If you ask me how I will tell you that it took me time
but remember ,it is us who teach people how to treat us.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 07:13:58 |Display all floors
Originally posted by huylee at 2008-5-15 07:01
I try the best i can to make my family happy because they are happy---> I am happy. I would not do eveything they want me to do but most of it.

If you dont care much about what ppl around y ...



I know how to make that combination .Living for the others' dreams is like wasting your life .
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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