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谨以此文献给先父和天底下所有的父亲!(汉译英,请指教和批评!) [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-30 10:27:18 |Display all floors
偷“稻草”
“Stealing” the Rice Straw
谨以此文献给先父和天底下所有的父亲!
Dedicated to my late father and all other fathers in the world!
                                            
           Author: Andrew Yan
这是发生在上个世纪六十年代末豫南的一个小村庄上的故事。
It happened in a small village in Southern Henan in the late 1960s.
当时这个村子非常穷,村民的日子过的非常艰难,正是吃了上顿没下顿。
It was a poverty-stricken village at that time and the villagers could only live from hand to mouth and had a hard life—a dog's life in all seriousness.
有个退伍老兵本来被分配到信阳市,可他却响应党的号召,自愿到偏远的豫南大别山农村。他戎马一生,到了49岁在喜得贵子,从此他好像有使不完的劲,从早到晚为生产队和自己的家忙得不亦乐乎。
Originally assigned to work in Xinyang City after discharge, an army veteran answered the Party's call by volunteering for rural work in a remote corner of the Dabie Mountains in South Henan.  Having been a soldier all his life, he felt overjoyed and invigorated to have a son at 49, so much so that he toiled tirelessly both in the brigade and at home.
他是会计,还负责给生产队种棉花,这一干下来就是15年。他这个心肠非常好,在田边地角还种些豇豆,夏秋之交,每天收工后,他都给村民挨家挨户分豆角。他在部队曾做过伙夫,所以非常会做面食甜点。逢年过节,家境稍微好一点的村民就请他去炸油条,因为当地没有第二个人会这个手艺活。所以在村里他可是个倍受人尊敬的人。
He was the accountant of the brigade and was also responsible for growing cotton for the production brigade and that for 15 long years. He was a kind-hearted person and availed himself of every corner of the cotton fields to grow the cowpea, so after work from the field in summer and autumn, he would distribute the cowpea to other villagers from household to household. He worked as the cook in the army, so he was adept at preparing wheaten food. During traditional festivals, those comparatively well-to-do villagers would like to invite him over to help fry the twisted cruller because there was no other person who knew how to make it so wonderfully in the local place. So no other villager was more highly looked upon than him in the village.
随着年岁增高,他的生活越来越不如意了。没过多久他就和妻子争吵起来,家庭冲突接连不断。他个性要强,何况强扭的瓜不甜。既然过不到一起,他就决定独自带着9岁的儿子另起炉灶。再苦再难的日子也要过下去呀,毕竟儿子是他的希望。
As he was advanced in years, his life was far from satisfactory. It was not long before he began to quarrel with his wife and later family conflicts were a usual practice. He was a strong-minded man and knew that Love cannot be forced, so as he was not on good terms with his wife and had to live separately together with his 9-year-old son. No matter how hard life was, he tried to keep it going and his son, after all, was his great hope.
不幸的是,在他快60岁的时候,却患上了肺结核,由于根本没有任何营养,他的身体每况愈下,就因这个缠人的病他一天天瘦下去。可一想到自己才9岁的儿子,他又强打起精神,这个时候他是不能撒手人寰,撇下相依为命的儿子。但是疾病缠身,他越来越感到自己命数将近。
Unfortunately, he was hard upon sixty when he was afflicted with tuberculosis. Because he had no nutrients at home, he got from bad to worse in health and he was wasting away with tuberculosis. But at the mere thought of his 9-year-old son, he invigorated himself by an effort. At this time he could not die and leave his beloved son uncared-for. However, he was eaten up with illness and felt that his destiny was at hand.  
他的病情越来越严重了,不停地咳嗽,口吐脓痰,他一点力气也没有了,几乎失去了劳动能力,可还要硬撑着给儿子做饭。
His condition got steadily worse with each passing day and he coughed day and night and had to spit it out with purulent sputum. In such a condition, he was faint and weak all along and was almost disabled for anything, but he had himself dragged to cook meals for his son.
村民们倒是有个不成文的规矩,没到吃饭的时候,人们自然而然地集聚在村当中的一个平场上,谈论些漫无边际、有用没用的话题,这倒是给人们提供了一个非常好的信息交流场所。
It seemed that the villagers had formed an unwritten rule: at the meal time the villagers, men and women, old and young, would naturally get together in the flat-field in the middle of the village, prattling about any topics, for what it's worth. It really offered a good chance for the villagers to exchange information.
这天早上人们照例汇聚一起,又拉开了话匣子。
That morning people gathered together again as usual and their tongues were loosened.

[ Last edited by andrewyan at 2008-4-5 08:50 AM ]

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Post time 2008-3-30 10:27:50 |Display all floors
突然有个中年汉子大声叫嚷起来:“各位,你们倒是注意了没有呀? 我发现这些天总有人在偷生产队草垛上的稻草”。
All of a sudden, a middle-aged man yelled, “Hey, have you noticed anything strange? I find that some guy is always steeling the rice straw bales from the haystack of the brigade”.
一听这话,就有人接茬,还有人交头接耳,窃窃私语,好像这事儿他们早都知晓,只是心照不宣罢了!
At this some other villagers rejoined; some even whispered to each other as if they were fully aware of it but didn’t lay bare the secret.
老兵的儿子也附和着叫嚷起来:“稻草是留着喂牛的呀!偷集体的东西真可耻! 我们为什么不把这个小偷扭出来呀!要是我能逮这个小偷,我一定要好好地教训他 ”。
The son of the veteran broke in, “The rice straw is reserved for cows. What a shame to steal the things of the collective! Why not pull him out? If I could catch him stealing, I will give him a good dressing-down”.
那个中年汉子冲着这个小家伙哈哈大笑起来:“对,实际上要逮住这个偷稻草的人非常容易。因为他偷稻草必然会一路上留下稻草的痕迹。小家伙,这个小偷远在天边,也近在你眼前呀!”
The middle-aged man burst out laughing, “You are quite right! Truly enough, it is as easy as anything to catch the thief for he must have left behind traces of the straw along the road from the haystack. Little boy, you know, this thief is seemingly far away, but he is actually right before your eyes”.  
其他人也都笑得前仰后歪的,好像他们都知道这个可恨的小偷是谁,就是这个小家伙还蒙在鼓里。
The other guys laughed to tears as if they had already known who the odious thief but it was only the little boy who was still kept in the dark.
老兵没有钱治病,病情越来越恶化了,这时他已经不能下床了,再也不能给儿子做吃的了。
The veteran had no money to be hospitalized and his condition was even worse. By then he was unable to leave the bed and could not cook meals for his boy any more.
这天老兵卧病在床,有气无力的样子,用了好大的气力在教导儿子烧饭。这也是他儿子平生第一次做饭,一切都要爸爸指导才行。家里没有柴火,灶台前面摆放的是半捆稻草。老兵教儿子把稻草挽成把,这样就好燃烧些。就在这时儿子恍然大悟,原来真相大白了。他的脑海里又浮现出那天早上的情形来:“小家伙,这个小偷远在天边,也近在你眼前呀!”
Those few days the veteran was confined to bed in a delicate condition but he had to teach his boy how to cook. This was the first time for the boy to cook and he had to follow his daddy’s instructions. There was no firewood at home but there was half a bale of rice straw in front of the hearth. The veteran taught the boy to bundle the rice straw into wisps to make a fire. Just at the very moment something suddenly struck him: the truth finally came out. The scene in that morning came fresh in his mind, “Little boy, you know, this thief is seemingly far away, but he is actually right before your eyes”.
老兵的儿子感到奇耻大辱,便嚎啕大哭起来,嘴里还不住的叫骂着:“你是小偷!可耻的小偷!村里的人都知道是你在偷集体的稻草。你真不要脸呀,我恨死你了!”
The boy was greatly humiliated and sobbed wildly with dirty words, “You the thief! A dirty thief! All villagers are aware that you are stealing the rice straw from the brigade. Shame on you! I hate your guts”.

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Post time 2008-3-30 10:28:13 |Display all floors
这时躺在病床上的老兵早已泣不成声,一口脓痰差点把他给憋死过去。过来好一阵子他才吐出痰。他有气无力歉疚地说:“儿子,是爹不好!不该偷生产队的稻草,可是我要是不偷,咱就。。。。。 ”,还没说完,他咳嗽起来。
The lying veteran was choked with sobs and a mouthful of purulent sputum almost choked him to death. A long while passed before he spat it out. He said listlessly and regretfully, “Son, it's all my fault. I shouldn’t have stolen the rice straw but if I didn’t do it, we …… ”. But before he finished, he coughed even harder.
没过几天,老兵就处于昏迷状态。临死前,他已不能说话了,只是呆滞地望着儿子,眼神里满含着愧疚和怜惜。
A few days later the veteran was in a coma. Before he died, he was unable to speak but he looked at his son dully with both eyes filled with regret and pity.
1970年初冬的上午,老兵断气了,睁着双眼离开了人间,撇下了孤苦伶仃的儿子,也留下了一颗希望的种子,延续自己的生命!
On the morning of an early winter day in 1970, the veteran breathed his last with his eyes wide open, leaving behind his lonely and hungry boy in the world as a seed of hope to extend his own life.
又过来几十年了,老兵的儿子也有了自己的儿子。这年清明节前,他又想起了自己的父亲,也想起了这段不同寻常的往事。他有些哽咽,两眼满含泪水。他是多么的后悔呀,当年他少不更事,不能理解父亲,现在终于明白了:这个世界上,再也没有比“偷”稻草更悲壮和伟大了。它体现了博大的父爱,它是延续生命的火种,是在绝望中的一线希望!
Several decades have passed and now the son of the veteran has his own son. Prior to the advent of this Tomb Sweeping Day, he thinks of his late daddy and the unforgettable past. He chokes with sobs with his eyes filled with tears. Now he can’t feel too regretful. At that time he was green in judgment and could not understand his father but now it is crystal-clear to him: In this world, there is nothing more tragically heroic and monumental that “STEELING” the rice straw. It epitomizes the broad and profound love of a father and it is the very spark to extend the life and a gleam of hope in desperation.  

写于2008年清明节前
Written prior to the Tomb-sweeping Day of 2008

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Post time 2008-3-30 13:46:09 |Display all floors
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Post time 2008-3-30 13:57:43 |Display all floors
你好  
你的文章和翻译都太漂亮了
真是语言文字与人间真情的美妙融合
常说母爱无私伟大
父爱更加默默无闻
佩服你的翻译,更敬佩你的父亲

另外,我想说说自己的翻译想法:
1。可他却响应党的号召,自愿到偏远的豫南大别山农村。
but he volunteered to get himself transferred to the remote village in Southern Henan in Dabieshan Mountains by positively responding to the call of the Party in a practical way.
要求调岗是为了响应号召
所以我认为应该倒过来说:but in order to positively ... he volunteered或者
he positively responded ... by volunteering to
2。他这个心肠非常好,
他这个(人)心肠非常好
3。He was the accountant of the brigade and was also responsible for growing cotton for the production brigade and that for 15 long years.
后面那个that 应该怎么理解呢,是不是少写了个lasted
4。面食,中国的传统面食是wheaten food,不应该是意大利面制品pasta
5。Because he had not nutrients at home,
not any or had no nutrients

谢谢你感人的文章

[ Last edited by heroodle at 2008-3-30 01:59 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-30 17:38:21 |Display all floors

heroodle

谢谢你的建议:
and that为习惯用法,为了避免重复,例如:
1. Return to your work, and that at once.
2. He will come, and that soon.
这两个例句均选自钱歌川先生的《翻译的技巧》。

get himself transferred 可翻译为“转业”

[ Last edited by andrewyan at 2008-3-30 05:40 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-31 19:06:29 |Display all floors

masterpiece!

翻得太好了!Enjoy! ^_^

However, he was tied up with illness
但是疾病缠身

你看如果用he was tangled with illness如何? 我感觉tangle表达了被纠缠的"磕碰"意味。而tied up with缺乏语言色彩。

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