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Relationship-Questions to ask before marriage(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-19 17:15:28 |Display all floors
Questions to ask before marriage
婚前要问的问题
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Getting married is a huge step, so it's worth making sure you and your partner are thinking along the same lines before you tie the knot. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall recommends asking yourself the following questions.

  结婚是人生的重大一步,所以值得要保证你们喜结良缘之前要做到一条心。关系精神治疗医师学家Paula Hall建议人们自问以下问题:

1. Do we love, trust and respect each other? 你们彼此相爱、信任、尊重吗?

2. Do we share the same expectations of marriage? 你们对婚姻有相同的期待吗?

3. Do we share things in common that make us shout, cry and laugh? 拥有共同让你们大叫、流泪、大笑的事情吗?

4. Do we agree on major life issues, such as children, family and friends, where we'll live and style of living?
    在重要事情上,例如:孩子、家庭和朋友上意见相同吗?

5. Do we have a way of managing conflict? 我们有管理矛盾的一个方法吗?

6. Do we share the same views on infidelity and commitment to avoiding temptation?对于忠诚和尽责避免诱惑上看法相同吗?

7. Do we love each other just the way we are today, without any hidden agenda to try to change the other?
    你爱对方只是如今的样子而不带任何改变对方的计划吗?


You don't have to agree on everything. The important thing is that you and your partner have talked through these questions and both feel confident you can live and work together, knowing what the other believes. For more see Why marry?

  你不必在每件事情上都同意。重要的是你和伴侣对这些问题彻底探讨;双方都能自信地感到能在一起生活和工作。要知道别人的想法吗?请参见“为什么结婚”一文


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-20 03:57 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-21 19:33:01 |Display all floors

-

What does it matter? They will lie anyway.

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Post time 2008-3-23 15:07:00 |Display all floors

spiritrace says

Originally posted by spiritrace at 2008-3-21 19:33
What does it matter? They will lie anyway.


i agree with u they always lie and me too so i guess its about who makes u feel
comfortable.the difference between unhappy marriages and happy ones is that  
in a happy marriage you leave a few things unsaid daily...
:):)

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Post time 2008-3-23 21:58:51 |Display all floors
Not everyone lies...some are as honest as they can be ....some don't lie intentionally....some take relationships seriously....and some don't ...at different times in their lives...I guess the point I have interpreted from those posted questions is that it is important for us to know our potential long-term partner well before we tie the knot or sign the contract.

I agree that it is important to know your man/woman "well"... before tying the knot...it is only common sense!...but how well is "well" is another academic question!

I disagree with it's premises assuming that if we know our partners well before marriage then we can end up with an everlasting happy marriage...it seems to me that many of those questions as a whole are implicitly pointing in that direction of conclusion (if not stated explicitly)...if my interpretation is correct...then I believe it is a dangerous and unrealistic assumption!

Well, here are my thoughts...no marriage is bullet-proof...knowing good ways to manage conflicts, sharing same values, having same view, etc...  do not guarantee a trouble-free marriage life...people change...ideas change...values change...priorities change...views change...romantic feelings change.

In short, almost everything changes in time....there is no guarantee in life!

Marriage (or any relationship) has to be maintained through a dynamic process...in a simple term...if it doesn't grow, it would surely die!  

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Post time 2008-3-26 09:06:01 |Display all floors
Thank you for your replies :-)

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