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My Funny Valentine(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-2-11 04:06 PM ]
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Perfectly Paired Puns
天衣无缝的一对俏皮话

As Valentine's Day approached, I tried to think of an unusual gift for my husband. When I discovered that his favorite red-plaid pants had a broken zipper, I thought I had the "perfect Valentine." I had the pants repaired, and gift-wrapped them. On the package I put a huge red heart on which I printed: "My Heart Pants for You." I was the surprised one, however, when I saw the same heart taped to our formerly empty, but now overflowing, wood box. On it he had written: "Wood You Be My Valentine?"
-- Contributed by Mary Lou Pittman

  当圣诞节临近,我在努力给丈夫想出一份不同寻常的礼物。 当我发现他最喜爱的红格子裤衩上的拉链坏了,我想自己找到了“完美情人节“。我将那条裤衩拿去补了,并包装称礼物。 在包装上,我放上了一颗巨大的红心,并印上"'"My Heart Pants for You“。不过,当我看见在我们曾经空的但现在装满的一只木箱上同样出现一颗心时却获得了一个惊讶。 上面写着:”Wood You Be My Valentine?"

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Post time 2008-2-11 16:08:38 |Display all floors
A Little Nuts About Love
对爱情有点疯狂

Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?" I asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared: "Local
Honey Dates Nuts"

  开车穿过南加州,我在一个卖水果、蔬菜和手工制品的路边摊旁停下买些东西。当我付款时,发现在摊位后的年轻女子正在写一句标语。 我问“为什么换标语?” 她说“我男朋友乐意原来那条"当我定睛观看悬在摊位上方的标语时,明白为什么了。 上面写的是”Local Honey Dates Nuts"

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Post time 2008-2-11 16:09:06 |Display all floors
Check Out a Romance
借出浪漫

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn't answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books. "Since I couldn't find the right engagement ring," he said, "this will have to do," and he firmly stamped my hand. Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read "NOT FOR CIRCULATION."

  我是在科学图书馆工作时和我的丈夫结识。他每周要来读最近的刊物,并最终决定把我这位图书馆员而不是书带出去。在一年零六个月的约会后,他出现在了图书馆,开始在我的桌子翻寻,我问她找什么,但他没有回答我。最后,他翻出了一颗我用来注目是参考数据的橡皮图章。 他说:“既然我找不到合适的订婚戒指,就用这了”,然后,在我手上用力盖上。在我的几个指关节上显现的是大写字母“NOT FOR CIRCULATION."

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Post time 2008-2-11 16:10:08 |Display all floors
Sweet Nothings (.com)
甜言蜜语

My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, "I just used a regular 56K modem."

  我和我的男朋友Hans是在网上认识,我们约会一年多。我把Hans介绍 给了我的叔叔。 他对我们的网络恋爱感到很好奇。他问Hans是用了什么“线”(方法)让我”上钩“。Hans天真地达到”我只用了一只56K的Modem"

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Post time 2008-2-11 16:10:51 |Display all floors
Pastoral Passion
农民的激情

The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine's Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee. My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man's sexier choice. When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter. "Would you have anything in black flannel?" He asked.

  我姨妈工作的女士内衣店积满了为圣诞节为妻子购买礼物的购物者。一位年轻的商人走过来给一条黑丝花边长睡衣交款。姨妈注意到下一位顾客是一位拿着长法兰绒女睡袍的老农不停看着年轻人那件更性感的睡衣。 当轮到自己交钱时,这位农民将自己选的睡袍放在柜台上,问道”有没有黑色法兰绒"?

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Post time 2008-2-11 16:12:20 |Display all floors
9 to 5 Love

My husband, a certified public accountant, works 15-hour days for the first few months of the year. In spite of his hectic schedule, he took time out to order me flowers for Valentine's Day. While pondering what sweet endearment to write on the card, he obviously began thinking of the many hours of work still ahead of him. His note read: "Roses are red, violets are blue. If I weren't thinking of you, I'd probably be through."

  我的丈夫是一位执业会计师,一年头几个月每天要工作15小时。 尽管可怕的工作日程安排,他还是花时间为我在情人节买花。一次在考虑要在卡片上写什么甜言深情的话语时,显然,他开始想自己还有许多工作要做。话中写道 "Roses are red, violets are blue. If I weren't thinking of you, I'd probably be through."

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