Views: 4668|Replies: 8

can it last??? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-1-30 00:18:43 |Display all floors
long distance relationships..

my gf is in usa now..im in uk
but things have changed her even though she says it hasnt

i believe i am a loyal and respectful bf
as i do her every order

or is this the main problem she knows it easy to get the sweets..???

she blames the cultural difference in upbringing but she never said this before..!!!since she got to usa she has said this has been a long term thing she may not be able to accept.

but before she was in usa..she hinted that we should get married in the future..as i did suggest this also ..

but she changes from time to time..

and recently things have takne a sudden change as she does not like usa or her job...

and also not admit this and blames me for our relationship and says i never listen..
but stated before.. i do everything she tells me..and for sure no one can  do 100% but believe me i am trying
200%



please help

li junwei

Ljw_44@hotmail.com

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-1-30 16:56:18 |Display all floors
I experienced it before during my 1st relationship. a long distance for half year promised but ended very sadly...(I flew back to Shanghai for her, but she didn't took back her words and lost the feelings)...

I learned a lot from that and have a good and steady 2nd relationship,

I can tell you, that in a relationship both just have to see eachother. ofcourse, short good-byes can be better than 3rd persons (Chinese saying: 小别胜新欢). it is all so beautiful said that if both believe eachother that will work eventually. but in reality its really really hard. I could did it. half year was nothing for me. but that is totally different for other people... some cannot be alone for too long. and as a rule all we know is that men needs physical love much more than women. that is 1 point. where women needs more emotional love than men.  all in all, you have to keep seeing/meeting eachother.
even once a month is still not much..but it can work... just harder.

In general the longer the distance and time you will see eachother, the harder and more difficult it is to let it work out.
That's a reality fact which any experienced person will understand...

As advice, I recommend you guys talk very well and PLAN: 1st whether you both still want to maintain the relationship?
2nd, if yes, plan how to meet eachother asap and how often... (if no, better let it go and find a new one sooner or later to prevent even more emtional pain/loss).

Good luck with your relationship and may happiness bless you.
Cheers
Cheng

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-1-30 21:21:07 |Display all floors

Time

It does not sound like a stable relationship. I'd give it lots of time to see how it shakes out. If either party is not committed 100%, then I'd walk away. Better to suffer the pains of a break up then the pains of a divorce (with kids). Good luck.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-2-14 21:21:08 |Display all floors

Too Hard

You're trying too hard. Give it a rest. If you can't meet halfway in a relationship, then you will suffer later on. Walk away while you still have a chance.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-2-14 22:38:53 |Display all floors
Man, You did your best..the problem is your gf ...distance can cause the problem . and she can't go on with you together.. if she loves you all the time then she still can be with you... maybe she loves you before..but not now..you know when she stay in USA..she can find some otherman when she get alone..ha..think about it !

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-2-18 11:53:38 |Display all floors
I had the same experience as you in the past with my ex (first) gf.  but different locations: Holland and Shanghai.
As you can guess, it didnt last. Half year together, then promised together half year long distance relationship which ended after a few months already.. (she was the one who gave up and had another...) it all depends on what person you meet. some people (girls) are very loyal some are something like "doesnt matter, I don't care"....
But in general, it is very very hard to maintain it. Men needs physical love, women needs emotional love. A big distance really brings that downwards by A LOT...and often too much..

Sure if you and her both love eachother a lot and trust eachother, any distance wouldn't be a problem. But that needs time and experience...  I dont know how long you have been with her, but the longer the time the more chance of succeeding a long-distance relationship...

Until then....good luck...try your best. and if it doesn't work out at the end, give it up and go on with life. You will find a new one sooner or later.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-2-20 08:51:19 |Display all floors
2 things
1) You have to remember that travelling changes people a lot. They become more confident and they have to learn to cope with things themselves, because there is less help in a foreign country. If you expected the same person who left you, to come back without change , you are going to be dissappointed. Travelling ALWAYS changes people and makes them grow up.
2) you need to be yourself. It is no good having to change yourself for other people, they need to accept you as you are. If you try to change yourself to be how they want you, you will never succeed and they will only lose respect for you. Besides, you only think you know what they want? - hell, they dont even know what they want, so how can you? Really - find yourself first, then go and find a relationship. Good luck.
testing the waters

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.