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Communicate Effectively(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-1-24 21:46:48 |Display all floors
Communicate Effectively

by Martha Beck

Somewhere between sucking up to superiors and talking down to assistants is a way of relating that's on the same level. Find out how to stay true to who you are, no matter who you're talking to.


There are those rare individuals who cannot be distracted by the external markers of success—things like social rank, wealth, education level, and professional status. These individuals behave in ways that quietly but effectively elevate the lowly and humble the arrogant. How do they do it? They ignore two common misconceptions and act instead on truths about equality and individual value.

  有极少数的人能不被外部的成功记号所分心--像社会地位、财富、教育水平和职业地位这样的东西。 这些人的行动方式能安静但却有效地能提升那些地位低的人,卑下那些傲慢的人。他们是如何做到的? 他们忽略了两个普遍存在的误解,而是去根据平等和个人价值观有关的真相做出行动。

Misconception #1: Each person's value is determined by rank on the pyramid of social success. Your worth as a person increases or decreases as you accumulate (or fail to accumulate) prizes like wealth, power or fame.
  误解1:每个人的价值都是由在社会成功金字塔上的等级来定。 一个人的价值会随着对例如:财富、权利或名誉的积累(或无法积累)而上升或下降。

Success-driven behaviors can undermine the very thing we think they will provide: the certainty that we are important, lovable, good enough. If you're waiting for the one achievement that will give you this certainty, prepare to wait forever. The only way to create such inner peace is to replace Misconception #1 with the following truth.


Truth #1: Each person, including you, is infinitely precious. No success or failure can ever alter that fact.
真相1: 包括你在内的每个人都是无限珍贵。没有成功或失败会改变这个事实。

Deep down, most of us conclude that we're a bit (or a lot) less equal than everybody else. It is this lurking sense of inferiority that makes us lust for success, consider ourselves pond scum, or both. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel worthless, think about the most powerful hero you can imagine, and how they would react in your place. Now consider this: your hero isn't the one coming up with this new, self-confident behavior;you are.

  在内心深处,我们大多数人的结论是我们比其他每个人都要差一点点(或许多)。正是这种潜伏的自卑情绪使我们具备了对成功的渴求、或把自己认为是渣滓、或两者都有。下次,当你发现自己感到没用的时候,想出一位在你想象中最有力的英雄,以及在你这个情况下,他们会如何做出反应。 现在,考虑这点:那位英雄并没想出这种新的、自信的行为;而是你想出的。

Misconception #2: People will value me to the extent that I affirm the superiority of people who rank above me in the social pyramid, and my own superiority over people who rank below me.Success is a currency that is not accepted by the heart: You can't buy love. Only people who are caught in the same misconception will bond with your accomplishments. Success-based relationships are parasitic, and they vanish when the fame, money and power do. To forge caring connections, you don't need a stronger resume; you need Truth #2.

  误解2:人们看重我的程度来自于我对在社会金字塔上等级高于我的人们的优越性,以及我自己在对那些等级低于我的人们具有的优越性,的承认上。 在心面前,成功是一种被拒收的货币:就像你无法买到爱情。建立在成功上的关系是寄生关系;当名誉、金钱和权利消失,它们随之也消失。要形成关爱的关系,你需要的不是更强的履历;你需要真相2.

Truth #2: People will value me to the extent that they believe I value them.

Virtually all arrogant, domineering people spent their childhoods being cruelly devalued. As adults, they are starving for validation, and they try to force people to acknowledge their significance by sucking up to the powerful and dominating the weak. This tends to create the very hostility they fear. There are much better ways to get the acceptance we crave.

Often people treat approval as though it were a severely limited resource. They give it stingily, if at all, as though every bit of approval aimed at someone else leaves less for them. But the more we express genuine approval, the more we motivate positive behavior in those around us, the more approval we'll receive from them.

  基本所有傲慢、霸道的人们在童年时期都被遭到极度的贬低。 成年后,他们有着对认可的饥渴。通过媚上欺下,他们努力迫使别人承认自己的重要性。而这往往产生出正是自己害怕的敌意。要获得我们渴求的认可有更好的方法。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-1-24 09:48 PM ]

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