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I met Sonia in Senior Middle School. Though in different classes, we had the same English teacher, Mr. Zeng, who it was, I always think, brought us together. She was a top student in her class and did rather well in English, while I, though not so good as her at English, showed not less interest in it than her. |
After each examination, Mr. Zeng would praise Sonia for her excellent performance and her hard work in English learning in front of my class, while I learned from her classmates that I was also praised for exactly the same reason in exactly the same way in front of her class. So I guessed that Sonia must, to a certain degree, admire me and perhaps wanted to know me, too.
Actually, I showed great admiration to her and held an idea deep in my heart that I should compete with her in English and at the same time all the other aspects of studies. This idea sustained me through all kinds of strains, difficulties and setbacks in the rest of my high school years, and by competing with her, I was always at the top of my class, especially in English.
This situation lasted for one and a half years until we had to choose whether to study arts subject or science subject. I opted for the latter while she the former. Though different subjects we chose, we still competed against each other in English.
The Senior Three year was spent in a very busy way. Everyone tried to squeeze as much time as possible to be well prepared for the National College Entrance Exam. We met each other on campus less frequently than before. Yet, whenever I went to the canteen, I would see her accompanied by a boy, with whom she headed for the canteen and sat and had meals together. It was at that time that I began feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed to meet her. Was I jealous? I had no idea. It was too complicated a feeling. Was it because of love that I failed to show her? Beats me! But how was I able to spare enough time to consider it at that time when I struggled for a satisfactory result in NCEE.
After NCEE, I welcomed the greatest pain throughout all my lifetime. I knew immediately after the exam that I couldn't manage to realize the dream of becoming an English major of a key university, which was a failure itself for me. Sonia did very badly as well.
However, eventually I was blessed to be admitted to an ordinary undergraduate school and made up my mind to enter it, which was not a very ideal one, though. After a lengthy summer vacation, I started my university journey. And now I was out of touch with Sonia completely.
It was the National Day and we had a 7-day lengthy holiday. Considering that I had not contacted with my former classmates, I gave a call to a bosom friend of mine, who was also my classmate. He failed the exam and was studying for another year to take the exam the following year. We promised to write to each other and in his first letter to me, I learned that Sonia was studying in the same school with him. And at that time I knew that Sonia failed to get the admission to college. I got her phone number; however, I got her call first when I was playing badminton in the lawn outside the dormitory. Meeting again, we were both excited and exhilarated and talked for nearly half an hour. I asked her for her address and in no time wrote her a letter. In reply, she said that so moved was her that she burst into tears after reading my letter, which more or less made my heart pounding. However, I continued writing back to her the moment I got her letter.
Then one day she called me and asked that I should not raise my devil after reading her letter. I felt nervous the following days yet eager to get it and find what was held in. In the letter, she told me that she encountered a romance with a boy in high school, whom was mentioned above. However, that boy betrayed her and for this reason she failed the NCEE. I was relieved. Why should I be angry after reading such a letter?
I went on writing to and calling her, giving her my heartfelt encouragement and warmest wishes. Though there was a new sensation in my heart and I knew I was falling in love with her, I kept it to the bottom of my heart and never showed it to her, in case she should be distracted from it.
Hearing that she did an excellent job and got the admission to English major of a key university, I felt extremely comforted, overjoyed and inspired. I even wondered if by any chance she had failed the exam again, would she take the blame on me?
One day, in the chatroom of the cyberbar, I felt quite depressed and downcast and complained a lot about my studies, my major and my university and showed some jealousy to her. She tried to comfort me with encouraging words yet couldn't make it that I stepped away from depression. Then a sentence, which was so universal yet made my eyes moist, was blurted by her. That was I LOVE YOU. I could hardly believe it and for a time couldn't accept it. However, it being so true from her, I accepted it in the end. Now I'm sophomore while she was in the freshman year. Though at times there are bound to be some kind of contradictory and unhappiness between us, yet I'm convinced it is our love, our true commitment and our mutual understanding that sustains us through these years and the rest of our life.
In my heart, I always consider Sonia as an angel, which God gave me as a gift from heaven. And I'll cherish this gift forever.
[ Last edited by dankegut at 2008-7-30 12:52 PM ]