- Registration time
- Last login
- Online time
- 231 Hour
- Reading permission
Saturday, January 05, 2008|
That is a boy that entered my life since the beginning of 2006, I have to say that he also influences me, and since then I came to know the meaning of love.
I didn’t know much about love, I played with boys but it wasn’t love. it is the pure relationship and I got from it is the happy moment and I did enjoy the happy moment when I was bored or need something to refresh myself.
At the beginning of 2006, my friend introduced me a website which mainly the BBS of my hometown, I was quite excited while seeing that was a BBS from the hometown, and I wrote many posts that attract him. Actually I didn’t pay attention to him, as that was too many members in that website.
He added my MSN, and we began to chat on MSN and since than I found he was a funny guy. At that time, Chinese New Year was drawing near. I returned back to my hometown and he drove a car to pick me up from the bus station, and it was the first time I met him.
We sent a lot of message to each other, like a lovers, and later we met twices and we have a happy times together.
That was a girl, also in that forum. I don’t know much about her. I didn’t meet her until last year when I came back to my hometown again. She writes good articles which I am not good at. Both he and she can write good articles.
She added my QQ, I don’t know the true intention of adding. She asks a lot of questions between he and me, as friends, I told her truly. I said he was a wonderful guy and has a good job. I found she left many messages in his BLOG and I found she was trying to attract his attention on the forum.
Half year after the new year, we quarreled, very badly. I scolded at him that he made me not reply. He didn’t log on QQ or MSN and I was so angry that I deleted him from the contact list and blocked him on mobile phone.
When she asked me the story between he and me, I still trust her. I told her that I deleted his information from me completely. She comforts me, as a sister and I showed my appreciation. I was so easy to trust somebody.
As the time went by, I knew that I was wrong, for I scolded at him too much, I even can’t find the actual reason for hating him like that and I should not have treated him like that. However, I didn’t contact him as I don’t have his contact information. Or even I have, I won’t, my self-esteem is too strong.
It was him that taught me what a sweetness of lovers. It was him that sends message to me to ask whether I sleep or not. It was him that inform me first what he did and what he has done. I don’t know that was love, I think it is like brother and sister, as I am the oldest child in the family and I don’t have brother.
The girl, asked me constantly about him, she said she likes somebody and wanted to marry him, and she said he loves somebody but still trying her best. I told her that we lost contact but still she mentioned him quite often.
Little by little, I knew that she loves him, and it was she that told him I deleted his information from my contact list. At the beginning of this year, he said:” you can hate me and you can scold at me, I will accept all, but why you delete me from your contact list?” I was so confused but later I knew this.
I treat her as my close friend and I told her everything between he and me, why she uses it as a tool to approach him?
She has a disease that has to go to the hospital for a lifetime, and so she has a miserable life because of this. She writes many sad articles to him and as they both interest in writing, so they have this in common and share this.
But he doesn’t love her, one time he left a message on my QQ:” she asks me what is the happiness of life I told her, I can’t be disturbed by happiness as I am content with the life now.” from that sentence I knew that she tried to propose to him.
It was very complicated and I regret for what I have done in the past. As he said:” you said I am good for nothing, I dare not oppose, you said I am a pig, then I am a pig for a long time.” I knew he still remembered this; my words hurt him so much.
What I am could not understand, is that the right way to get attention from a boy like that?