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请各位大虾帮我指正! [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-11-18 00:03:43 |Display all floors
我写了一小段文章的开头,不知道有没有语法错误,请大家指正,非常感谢。
Theseday,available evidence pionts to the fact that more and films or television programme concerning violence theme have been coming into our life, which bring about a long-running controversial debate,which is quite natural that people from different background may have divergent attitude, over which the government should control the amount of violence scenes showned in media in bid ot decrease the violence crimes on society. As far as I am concerned, the above point can hold water.
........

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Post time 2007-11-18 00:07:35 |Display all floors

句子太长啦!

Theseday
more and films
programme
bring
which is
attitude
over which
.....

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Post time 2007-11-18 00:43:30 |Display all floors

thanks

没办法,为了凑字数,要求多用嵌套句型, 就加了些废话,害怕有语法错误,帮我看看有漏洞吗?:)

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Post time 2007-11-18 01:53:08 |Display all floors
长句子在连接关系上容易出错,应该先学好短句子,再慢慢学加长。
上面二楼所列不少都是连接上有问题的地方。

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Post time 2007-11-21 23:18:47 |Display all floors

请教jl2315此句如何改,谢谢

我知道你前面说的几处错误了,应该为thesedays, more and more films, brings,  attitudes.
但是 which is 和 over which 我还是不知道怎么改,这是我的考试题,请帮忙给我改改,不胜感激!!那个over 是接debate over 的

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Post time 2007-11-22 00:02:18 |Display all floors
Originally posted by joan_cai79 at 2007-11-17 12:43 PM
要求多用嵌套句型 :)

是指那些用 which 带头的从句吧?这是老师的要求?一定要写那么长吗?不见得是很好的学习方法,应该从简入繁,简单的掌握好了,才考虑加长。(而且不要以为长就是好,为长而长。)

在 which 从句中,which 的指代对象一定要明确,而在你的句子中,三个 which 都用得不太对,起不到连接上下文的作用,读者只能勉强从你的全文来猜它们的意思。

另外,确实有“为了凑字数,...... 就加了些废话”的问题,例如 available evidence pionts to the fact that ....


.

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Post time 2007-11-22 04:36:18 |Display all floors

trying to help...

ummm kind of a run-on sentence eh?

and points and bid to decrease are misspelled
A riot is an ugly thing.... and I think it's just about time we had one.

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