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should we fullfil our parents' dreams? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-6-4 04:52:20 |Display all floors
As a child I had always tried to fullfil my mother's dreams.She had a really convincing way to manipulate me.I have learned to obey her desires and morals.
To cut the long story short ,she believed that the best occupation for a girl was to be a teacher ,so I became a teacher ,she wanted me to get married to a man of social status ,I also managed it.
I had been always thankful to her for her sacrifes and her recommendations.They did me good althoug the choices were not mine.
I had been under the impression that I had been happy.I was made to believe that teaching was the best occupation for me and getting married to a husband of status it was a clever deed.
All these until one day the appearance of a person brought everything upside down.
I did felt what real love is and how stupid I had been by being such an obedient daughter.
Sometimes I say it is too late for me to live the real love but my inner voice says no ,it is never too late.
Life is mine.Nobody is going to praise me for being so strict with my morals.
Everybody will  say  that it was my obligation.

I know parents act for the child's benefit only according to their wills and dreams
Please your comments.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2007-6-4 05:56:45 |Display all floors
parents always wish the best for their children even though they may not know what that is exactly , how can a mother know what is best for her daughter , she can only go on what she has herself been taught by her mother , and as we all know eccepted belief's change with time , what was once good for your mother may now not be good for your daughter , times and values change , today everyone has the ability to make a good life for themselves regardless of whether they are male or female , your mother would not of been so lucky , marrying a person of social status would of been a high priority back then to ensure she would be able to provide for her family , these days more thought goes into finding someone you love rather than need , your daughter will marry for love first and foremost , you have to decide if it is too late for you to follow your heart , you are fortunate in that your children are old enough now to be able to give you emotional support and understanding when you need it most :) you should fullfil your dream now as you have already fullfiled your mothers .
There are no Ugly women , only those with low self esteem .

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Post time 2007-6-4 13:54:58 |Display all floors

thank you very much

Originally posted by cyberspook at 2007-6-4 05:56
parents always wish the best for their children even though they may not know what that is exactly , how can a mother know what is best for her daughter , she can only go on what she has herself be ...

I wish I had realized that some years ago.I lived only for my mother.I wanted to satisfy her .
My mother wanted my husband to have one particular job.So I refused all the suggestions from men until I had the suitable for my mother.
I do not want to say more.
Thank you for your answer.It is  such a relief for me.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2007-6-4 14:44:23 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2007-6-4 04:52
As a child I had always tried to fullfil my mother's dreams.She had a really convincing way to manipulate me.I have learned to obey her desires and morals.
To cut the long story short ,she believe ...

yes,I did...
I do not want to make them feel down..
always keep myself on TOP...
but they would never ever thinking  to make decision for my future, my Mr.right..
***always to be yourself***

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Post time 2007-6-4 14:57:09 |Display all floors

you are more clever than me

Originally posted by shelleybelly at 2007-6-4 14:44

yes,I did...
I do not want to make them feel down..
always keep myself on TOP...
but they would never ever thinking  to make decision for my future, my Mr.right..
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2007-6-4 15:04:57 |Display all floors

that's nothing to do with clever

Originally posted by xilaren at 2007-6-4 14:57

I feel that you are a very traditional lady..
***always to be yourself***

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Post time 2007-6-4 15:17:37 |Display all floors
i have always kept it in my mind that being abedient to parents is 'priviledge' of  traditional chinese.now i feel balanced
but seriously,you should follow your heart.parents could not make decision for you all through your life.life is yours to handle by yourself.:)

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