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Why does it matter if woman is a virgin? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2007-2-2 00:06:51 |Display all floors
A chinese friend of mine says she could never marry a Chinese man now because she broke up with her boyfriend and she had sex with him thinking they were going to marry.  Now chinese men won't marry her because she is not a virgin.

WHAT?????

Here are my opinions.

1) if a woman could see the future or could read the mind of the man then MAYBE she should not have sex until she was 100% convinced she was going to marry him.  But, LUCKILY this is impossible!  hehe
2) I know people are supposed to wait till they get married to have sex, but what if you get married and then find you don't match in sex???  They say love conquers all, but can you really be happy with a horrible sex life?  Shouldn't marriage be about LOVE  AND Happiness?  I almost married a Chinese girl (she asked me to marry her) but we didn't match in that one aspect.  I tried to work it out with her but she was unwilling to work it out.  I am personally glad we were together before we got married, I don't want a divorce.
3) I don't think it is fair that a woman should be judged because face it men, there is no way to tell if you had sex before and condeming a woman when you have played around or without being able to prove you haven't is not fair.  

Please understand, I am not condemning the idea of waiting till marriage to make love.  If it works great!  But I think it is unfair to look down on a girl just because she has.  To me it is like hating a person because he doesn't have the same religion as me.  I know countries fight over this, why?  Let each person believe what they believe.  Of course, if she had MANY partners that may be another story.  But to have loved and lost, why should she be condemned?

I realize that I am not Chinese, I am learning a lot here about Chinese culture.  So, if you wish to tell me how wrong I am and that I know nothing about Chinese culture, please feel free to "explain" it to me.  I don't mind being told I am wrong as long as I learn from my mistake.

Thank you!

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Rank: 4

Post time 2007-2-2 00:15:13 |Display all floors
it's a home truth...bcos they are selfish and ridiculous
but I hope the guys had better try not to care about these...bcos all these is they worry about troubles of their own imagining
爱情什么都象,就是不象爱情...Love is a Fallacy

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Rank: 4

Post time 2007-2-2 08:38:17 |Display all floors
How so funny!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-2-2 09:46:40 |Display all floors
It doesn't matter a bit. Not even to modern Chinese. It is a traditional thing, an old tradition in most countries.

Hm. Let's suppose a Chinese girl is rejected because she is not a virgin or because she has had a lot of boyfriends. Then there will be plenty of foreigners who will not judge her for that, and the Chinese men will loose out on yet another girl. Since there are some 30 million Chinese men who will *never* find a spouse, I don't think Chinese men can afford to think in such terms.
瑞典人,活着为中国娃娃而死。汉学家、工程师、摄影师、网页设计师等等。爱好:政治、历史、科技、文化等。王菲迷。自由主义者。

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Rank: 4

Post time 2007-2-2 09:58:31 |Display all floors
Originally posted by markis at 2007-2-2 12:06 AM
A chinese friend of mine says she could never marry a Chinese man now because she broke up with her boyfriend and she had sex with him thinking they were going to marry.  Now chinese men won't marr ...



ever heard of the phrase, "preaching to the choir?"

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-2-2 11:02:17 |Display all floors
Originally posted by liangzai at 2007-2-2 09:46
It doesn't matter a bit. Not even to modern Chinese. It is a traditional thing, an old tradition in most countries.

Hm. Let's suppose a Chinese girl is rejected because she is not a virgin or be ...

agree with you
the situation also applies to korean

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-2-2 11:08:06 |Display all floors
but the korean are more open to the sex or sth like that than their older generation.is it a trend to catch up the world?if so ,the chinese should learn from korean.you know,chinese now are a little bit lagging behind the korean in this aspect,especially those from the rural area.

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