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Help with Chinese culture and Sex - Part I [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2006-9-9 02:46:13 |Display all floors
Hello.  My girlfriend and I are talking about the possibility of getting married but she is worried about my lack of knowledge in Chinese culture.  Since I do not want to lose her again (we broke up once before because of mistake I made), I am wanting advice on a few things.  So, I will ask in seperate messages.

Please, I don't want her to think that only men think this way, so please I am asking that Chinese females answer my question.  Also when you answer can you tell me if your lover or husband is Chinese or foreigner?

Let's assume you came home from work in a bad mood (you had a bad day at work) and you do not want to have sex, just want to be mad at the world.  Do you think it is acceptable that your lover or husband try to get you in a good mood - doing whatever, cooking dinner, massage, etc...with the eventual plan of later making love to you once you are in a good mood?  

My girlfriend (who I hope will be fiance soon) said absolutely not!  She was mad at me for even thinking of having lots of sex as she will be in bad mood because of work a lot.  I said there should be no problem with it.  So, she said I have a culture problem.

So, can you all explain, am I wrong again?  Thanks!

Now, on to my next question....If you don't mind helping me - please take a look at next question.

Thanks everyone!

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-9-9 02:55:04 |Display all floors
a) Where are you from?
b) Women are women - it doesn't matter where they come from. It is wrong to assume that culture makes huge differences in some aspects of their behaviour.
c) Yes, you are wrong. Get sex off your mind and try talking to her about why her day was bad.
Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-9-9 05:56:14 |Display all floors

me again, I'm just addressing each one separately...

Again, it's not a culture thing. I'd bet most women would be offended by that. The problem lies here:

WHY... can I write it bigger?...WHY are you making dinner, giving the massage, etc...? WHY? If your answer is "to have sex later". ***BUZZER*** Nope sorry, wrong answer. Don't you care about her emotions and health? I'd hope you'd do those things to get her in a better mood...PERIOD. End it there. I'd hope you'd do them because you don't like to see your loved one stressed out.

Now.... yes, I can see your point, there may be a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel for sex... fine have your little glimmer. But don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen; she had a crappy day. Don't do those things BECAUSE you want sex, or you will be sorely disappointed and SHE will be angry & bitter and feel like you DON'T CARE ABOUT HER... Trust me that is how she will feel. She will feel like you only care about YOU, with your only goal to be sex.
I am not rich.  :L

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-9-9 06:06:59 |Display all floors

Janice ...

I like your posting style - it caters for the visually and mentally impaired

Now, has our poster got the message about sex yet?
Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-9-9 06:19:05 |Display all floors
"She was mad at me for even thinking of having lots of sex as she will be in bad mood because of work a lot."
Let me get this straight.
She said she will be in a bad mood often because of  her work?

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-9-9 10:36:59 |Display all floors
I'm going to agree with freakyqi. You should do nice things for your girlfriend because you LOVE her, not because you want to have sex! Yes, maybe your kind actions will get her in the mood, but that shouldn't be your primary motivation.

Let me speak from experience. If I have a bad day, the last thing I want is my boyfriend trying to get me naked. Guys think: but why? Isn't it flattering that we want to see her naked? Doesn't she want to take her mind off her bad day? Answer: No! What I want him to do is listen to me as I rant and rave about my bad day. Let me get it off my chest. Listen to me--can't emphasize that enough. Then do nice things for me. Then let me decide if I'm in the mood. When the pressure is off, that's when she's really appreciative.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-9-9 10:57:34 |Display all floors
Hei, your guys do talk lots about sex, strange.

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