Author: modeststeam

Sexy dressing blamed for harassment in China [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-9-16 05:48:33 |Display all floors
Tian, this is the best answer I've heard so far as it doesn't cater to feminists or chauvinists.

However, I still disagree with your analogies: that women are houses and that dressing provocatively invites thieves. The entire blame still falls on the perpetrators, and other men have reason to believe that. As I see it, she is more akin to a host acting out a privilage to her guest(s).

Take this story that was reported on the news and posted on the internet not so long ago.

An all you can eat, Chinese buffet provides decent food at low prices. The food was not the best, but this was great for customers who wanted to sample the some of the luxury but couldn't afford to eat at high class restaurants. One day a customer and her family decides to trespass this privilage. They stacked up on large servings - more than an average size family could consume. Anything they tasted and didn't enjoy, was given a bite and tossed aside until a heap of leftovers (many left untouched) piled the middle. With no intention of finishing their half their meals, the family took off. Their favorite edibles were carried in their clothes and bags on their way out. A worker notices the atrocious behavior and alerts the manager.

"Let it go, it's not worth the rucus. I hope they don't come back." the manager responded.

Yet the family continued to come back back day after day, sometimes hanging around the restaurant for hours.  It was a digusting etiquette the manager could no longer ignore. For once the rule was an exception and the family was kicked out on terms for "eating too much!"

The woman of the family protested, "It is my right as an American to eat here!". The other customers just pointed and laughed at her.

Indeed, she and her family alone, had they remained at the buffet longer, would have inflated the admission price where prices were generous as it is. Not to mention, it'd pin a bad stigma for all Americans who eat at buffets. Why do the rest have to suffer for the disreputable and gluttenous act of a few?

Similarly, why do other men have to suffer the act of one groping idiot? No man should have to suffer a hot woman returning to the dress code of the victorian days by law  or "moral standards" passed out to protect women from lewd men. It's inhumane!

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Post time 2006-9-16 11:16:50 |Display all floors
Gustavo. I fully agree that if a man harasses a woman, even if she's wearing such a short miniskirt that you can see her undies every time she sits down, that's still no reason for him to harass her. I did in fact come across a worker in a company training course once who dressed like that. She was beautiful, and I still wouldn't harass her. But for crying out loud. Couldn't she afford a a skirt made with a little more thread?

There's theissue of respect for others. There's also the issue of self-respect. If I should go to work in swimming trunks, no woman would have a right to harass me. But that still wouldn't mean that I wouldn't be dressed inapproapriately.

So no, I'm not targetting women here. Everything I say about women applies to men too. Just as women ought to dress approapriately, men ought to to. Just as there is no excuse for a man to harass a woman, even if she is dressed inapproapriately, same applies to women harassing men. I'm not being sexist here in the least. Nor am I excusing harassment from either sex. I still don't get how anyone can misread my previous posts on this. How much  more explicit can I get?
四海之内皆兄弟
-孔子

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Post time 2006-9-16 13:23:31 |Display all floors

blame fashion designers haha

once a top designer (can't remember which one exactly) said he aimed at designing women's wear which give men the desire and urge to rip them off...
JOIN THE BLACK PARADE.

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Post time 2006-9-17 01:16:58 |Display all floors

Reply #52 babymomo's post

the trick is to TEASE...

and not actually make the woman naked..
otherwise man get bored...

YOu know, beautiful women, easy to get, also no fun....

Green Dragon
The Art of Sex

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Post time 2006-9-18 02:21:30 |Display all floors
tianyuanedu scribbled, "I'd say they're both at fault."
That's what you said.
No amount of "hyperbole" can change that.
You are wrong.
Women are not at fault.
Now THAT is clear.

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Post time 2006-9-18 18:42:07 |Display all floors
Originally posted by wowzers at 2006-9-18 02:21
tianyuanedu scribbled, "I'd say they're both at fault."
That's what you said.
No amount of "hyperbole" can change that.
You are wrong.
Women are not at fault.
Now THAT is c ...


OK, I was wrong in my wording. You're right, I'm wrong. So let me correct myself if I may. While the victim of sexual harassment is never at fault (i.e. no matter the situation, the perpetrator never has a right to do this), it still doesn't change the fact that dressing decently can help avoid the problem.

Now I had a friend who always dressed decently, and a man still harassed her at work one evening. But it still doesn't chang the fact that if she should dress inapproapriately, she might have gotten harassed more than once.

Let's compare with cars for a minute. If the light is green, yes I do have the right of way. But if I see a drunkard flying through, it might be wise for me to let him pass even if I do have the right of way. Now technically, if I didn't let him pass and he should hit my cart, he'd be entirely to blame. But it still doesn't change the fact that I could ahve reduced the chances of this happening by being more cautious even if it is his fault.

Same here. It is 100% the perpetrator's fault. But what's wrong with the rest of us taking reasonable measures to reduce it's occurrance?
四海之内皆兄弟
-孔子

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Post time 2006-9-19 03:40:16 |Display all floors

Right idea, wrong end of the stick, tianyuanedu

Originally posted by tianyuanedu at 18-9-2006 11:42

Let's compare with cars for a minute. If the light is green, yes I do have the right of way. But if I see a drunkard flying through, it might be wise for me to let him pass even if I do have the right of way. Now technically, if I didn't let him pass and he should hit my cart, he'd be entirely to blame. But it still doesn't change the fact that I could ahve reduced the chances of this happening by being more cautious even if it is his fault.


What if you had no chance to get out of the way? Normally, trying to avoid a drunk driver doesn't help because their driving is so erratic they might turn into you.

Similarly, some men find trousers and longer skirts on women more attractive than short skirts or shorts.

Besides, what is "inappropriate"? Skirts above the knee? Halfway up the thigh? Higher? I don't think people that will assault women make the distinction. They see a girl they like and one that is vulnerable - they go for it. Shorter clothing might result in wolf whistles and the like, but I don't think it automatically results in serious trouble. If one was to look at the total number of cases of sexual assault, I personally believe that most victims would be women wearing relatively regular clothing.

If women want to be safe, wearing longer skirts won't make much of a difference. What they really need to do are things like the following.

a) Not walk home alone late at night and/or through dodgy areas.
b) Carry a rape alarm and/or pepper spray.
c) Take some self-defence classes.

Sexual predators aren't interested in how high a woman's skirt is above her knee, they're only interested in taking advantage of her.
"People are the water, the ruler is the boat; water can carry the boat, but it can also capsize it."

-- Li Shimin (2nd Tang Emperor, "Taizong")

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