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花心和尚勒死情人后畏罪自首 C-E [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-9-8 14:05:10 |Display all floors
皈依佛门多年的出家人焦某与一位女施主一直保持情人关系。一日,这个担心丑事败露的花心和尚将情人勒死在酒店的床上,次日畏罪自首

本人试译:

Jiao, who had converted himself to Buddhism for years, was keeping a lover relation with a female benefactor all the time. One day, the amative monk, worrying about his scandal being disclosed, strangled his lover on a hotel's bed. He delivered himself to the police the next day.

请指正。期待更perfect的译本!

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Post time 2006-9-8 14:10:40 |Display all floors
A monk surnamed Jiao, who has been practiced for many years, kept an affair with a female benefector.  Fearing  the leakage of the scandal, one day he strangled her to death on a  bed in hotel, and turned himeslf in the next day, fearing the punishment of his committed crime.

[ Last edited by hly2006 at 2006-9-8 02:17 PM ]

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Post time 2006-9-8 14:10:49 |Display all floors

what do you think about his version

Jiao, who had converted himself to Buddhism for years, and has been keeping a romance relationship with a female benefactor all the time.
One day, this amative monk strangled his lover in a bed of a hotel room and turned himself in to the police on the next day for worrying about his scandal being disclosed.

[ Last edited by felicitysam at 2006-9-8 02:12 PM ]

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Post time 2006-9-8 15:12:23 |Display all floors
2006用的practiced 是信教的意思吧?可以说practise in Buddhism 吗?
另外,“出家人”,有没有这个说法?就是monk?

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Post time 2006-9-8 15:48:33 |Display all floors
My take:
    Jiao, who had became a Buddhist years ago, had an affair with a female benefactor the entire time. One day, the amorous monk, worried that his secret might be disclosed, strangled his lover on the bed in a hotel room. He turned himself to the police the next day.
became a Buddhist = converted to Buddhism (not "converted himself") or practiced Buddhism (depending on what you mean)

I liked either "turned himself in" or "delivered himself to the police."

Avoid "surnamed." It might be technically correct but it's very rarely used as a way of saying "his surname is…."  in a regular news story. (You might use it to make a specific point about a surname: "After he legally changed his name, John, now surnamed Smith…)

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Post time 2006-9-8 15:58:58 |Display all floors
Thank you, jeff. You've been very helpful.

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Post time 2006-9-8 16:04:03 |Display all floors
Thanks, copchen. Always happy to help you out! :)

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