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Please explain my culture mistake!!! PLEASE!? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2006-8-18 10:53:12 |Display all floors
Note: Please only answer if you are chinese.

I have been dating my Chinese gf for a while (2nd time dating, she broke up with me earlier for my mistakes).  We are not at the making love stage yet....  
ANyway I sent a message to her and she made a reply.  She is always mad at me for not trying to understand Chinese culture.  So, can you all please explain why my message was wrong?  Please ONLY answer if you are Chinese as I do not want my gf bashed.  Feel free to bash me as much as you want.  I am ONLY wanting to understand Chinese culture as it seems quite different to my American culture.  BEcause where I am from people who love each other support each other when tragedy falls upon them.  So, I was quite sad to get her response and to know I was sooo wrong.  So, please educate me.

Background info.
My younger brother has been sick for weeks and has had 3 blood transfusions already - replaced 6 units of blood.

I sent the following message...
"HONEY!!!!!!!  The tests came back on my brother.  He has acute leukemia, blood cancer!!!  They are starting him on chemotheropy.  I am sooo sad right now.  I need you in my arms!  I need you honey.  Can you please please spend all weekend with me?  Please take enough clothes with you to work so you can stay with me till Monday morning at least???  Even if you require no sex (but I wish I could make love to you 1000 times), I need you please?  Please don't get mad at me.  I just love you soooo much and I need you with me. Hope you understand. I know you live with your mother and might be afraid she will get suspicious, but honey, I do hope to marry you, so hope it will make her happy soon.  ....  Love you honey!  Wish you will think about coming all weekend (or just staying forever).  Love you"

She sent the following message....
" am very sorry for your brother when I saw the message at this morning that you sent at middle night...

the only thing that i can do is:
I know you are very sad, so I am very sorry, and hope you can be strong for holding yourself from it....
I will search in the internet about chinese medicine against blood cancer (sometimes chinese medicine is more useful and effective than west medicine), and let you know and try to find it with you together and mail it to your brother;

But I wouldn't follow your words and do what you want -- spend night at your place; for what? what I should do there? what you are asking is like what I saw in the movie, but I am not actor/ player...

I am not mad, you are mad!

you are already 37 years old, so please act as adult, mature man!"

So, again, please answer ONLY if you are Chinese.  I do not want my gf bashed by Americans.  So, please tell me why what I asked for was wrong.  I DO want to learn Chinese culture, I DO want her to love me.  So, please help me.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-8-18 11:13:05 |Display all floors
i think she is right..you are the mad one...why should she stay with you over the weekend just cos ur brother is sick ?.... my reaction will be:" look, i am sorry for your brother..and hope he will recover soon..and i dont know what the spending weekend with u is related to your sick brother...i wouldnt come over..you are old enough to make the right decision..dont talk like a kid..cos i dont date kids..bye!"
I don't know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I'm near you.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-18 11:32:22 |Display all floors
Generally speaking,Chinese girls is weak in showing their love out. And they are also hideboud,they won't send their whole night in a boy's room before they are married(it's good isn't it?). So do not show your love fiercely but smoothly,or you will scare her.
GIVE ME YOUR THREAD!

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-8-18 11:36:15 |Display all floors
i dont think that scares me..i just feel he is a pervert...why do you need her to be there...what for?..just cos ur brother is sick??...so...she has to be there..when ur father is sick..?...ur mother is sick??...ur niece is sick???....

you kdiding me....
I don't know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I'm near you.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-18 11:36:49 |Display all floors
Originally posted by spaceman at 2006-8-18 10:53
Note: Please only answer if you are chinese.

I have been dating my Chinese gf for a while (2nd time dating, she broke up with me earlier for my mistakes).  We are not at the making love stage ye ...


OPS !!!

i wanted to start to read your thread ( a long one ) that at the begining sounds interesting

but i stop when u said "Please only answer if you are chinese"

well

I am not chinesse but

this is an open forum, i think u can get also good opinions from non chinesse too

well, i will try to read later

bye

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-18 11:40:35 |Display all floors

Try to understand the woman you like not the culture

Acutally, it's not related to chinese culture but woman's character & thought.

You two use different ways to demostrating love. She is a traditional woman -  make sense, fogy and decent who agree the religion  have sex after marriage.  She want to prove care by helping you in real way as find medicine or remedy; Comfort you by talking with you even a hug.  All of above means she wanna take your hand go through with this disaster!

You should try to understand her mind, and respect is most important things during this relationship!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-18 11:56:01 |Display all floors
all those guys above did offer u decent inputs on yr thread...!!! yr girl is a typical

chinese girl...kind, decently-behaved and tranditional..., she cares about u so

much as to help u anytime u are in need...but in the way she thinks the most

appropriate...cherish her the best way u can!!! wish u good luck...,

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