Author: spaceman

Please explain my culture mistake!!! PLEASE!? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:07:01 |Display all floors
Originally posted by freakyqi at 2006-8-19 10:51
So many people here are saying he's wrong for wanting sex... but he said he DIDN'T want sex - he was trying to make it clear to her that even though he wants her, he will refrain. That was his good ...



That is the subtle cultural difference between Chinese and American. By the way, how long have you been staying in China?

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:08:47 |Display all floors

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Like I said before, we don't know why she broke up with him the first time. We don't know what mistake he made. Maybe she broke up with him before because he was pressuring her for sex. we really don't know because it wasnt explained. Also,  I do agree with Freakyqi that maybe he shouldnt have mentioned the 1000 times part. But him saying that they didnt have to have sex doesn't seem like a trick to me. He may have just been reminding her that he would not make the past mistakes.
I do want to make this comment as well. To say that all Chinese girls are traditional and don't have sex before marriage is extreme exaggerated. More and more Chinese University students are deciding not to wait for marriage before making love the first time

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:13:58 |Display all floors
Do we even know if this girl is a virgin or not?  Maybe she had a boyfriend before that she made love to, he was bad in bed so she didnt like it. Maybe they talk a little dirty to each other but she doesn't want to have sex now?  We can sit here and argue this point for months... but unless we actually get more background information on the issue, we will never know what his real motives are. When we ASSUME.... it makes an ASS out of U and ME

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:32:51 |Display all floors
Originally posted by dragoncham at 2006-8-19 11:07

That is the subtle cultural difference between Chinese and American. By the way, how long have you been staying in China?


I'm in the US.
What are you saying the subtle difference is? All I was trying to say is like fuzzy said - I don't think it's a trick or a way to get her to have sex. I think if he was hoping for sex he actually might NOT say "you don't have to have sex" because if he said that then tried to have sex with her, he'd be going against his own word, and she could rightfully get pretty mad at that. Being from the same culture & native language as he is, it seems pretty clear to me that he wants sex in general but specifically not that time. I think he said "you don't have to have sex" hoping she'd be more likely to come if she knew he wasn't going to try anything sexual.

I do agree that he shouldn't have mentioned sex at all, but I really am pretty sure his intention wasn't to have sex, he just went about it clumsily. If I was the girl, from my american viewpoint, I would spend a lot of time with him that weekend but not overnight. I'd sit with him, hug him, let him cry or be upset, etc, but leave at the end of the day. I wouldn't think less of him for being sad, but I wouldn't have sex with him either. I don't think sex is on people's minds at a time like that anyway.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:37:41 |Display all floors
FUZZY - I agree with your post #30, but as for your next post, I don't think we need much background info. I think there's enough to go on here regardless of the background. Although of course if sex was the reason she broke up with him the first time, then it's even more clear why she wouldn't want to stay with him, but I think she would be madder if that was the case.

And.... I'm just going to call you "fuzzy" so I don't have to type the "nuts" part with it, ok? Yeah, ok.

HEARTHOME - I'm pretty sure he didn't mean he only went on 2 dates, he meant they were BF/GF for a while, then they broke up, now they're BF/GF again, over a long period of time.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:45:43 |Display all floors

Hmmm that explains a lot

Freakyqi ;p     It is all becoming clearer now. I didn't realize that you were of the female species haha

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Post time 2006-8-19 12:11:19 |Display all floors
Originally posted by fuzzynuts at 2006-8-19 11:45
Freakyqi ;p     It is all becoming clearer now. I didn't realize that you were of the female species haha


Oh... so, uh... what has become clearer? Does it explain why I don't feel comfortable calling a person "fuzzynuts"?

Seriously, is there something else that has become clearer? I'm curious.

I don't like when people are nicer to me once they realize I'm female, so if there was something you disagreed with me on, go ahead and yell at me. Lord knows hillbilly does it, but I didn't tell him I'm female yet; apparently he only reads his own threads. Maybe even his own posts.
I am not rich.  :L

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