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I don't think he's a pervert, I can understand his side...
Hi, sorry to answer, I do really want to help, even though I'm american (female). I'm certainly not going to bash anyone - I know some chinese people, and I think what sinfulangel and your girlfriend both said about "what's the connection" is a key... She's hearing "sleep over + brother trauma = huh?" How do they relate? How can her sleeping over help? They are two vastly different things that SHE thinks have nothing to do with each other. As an american, I can understand the cultural thing about wanting someone with you for support. Many people do that when a loved one is undergoing surgery, or dying, or whatever... family or close friends will often sit with each other, just to "be there", maybe they'll talk, or give a hug, or make sure the worried/upset person eats & is ok... |
Maybe here's a difference.... I've heard that in Chinese culture it's common for someone to stay int he hospital with the patient, in other words you'd be in your brother's room at his side 24/7, as much as possible. But we know american hospitals rarely allow this, unless the person is on their deathbed - so often you'd end up sitting in a waiting room or at home, alone... alone? No, not alone, that's why friends or family might come to support YOU, to ease the worry, etc... I hope the chinese people reading can understand that difference too... the feeling of wanting someone there, not being alone. ..or maybe it can help the explanation to your girlfriend.
Anyway, I can imagine my taiji teacher's reaction right now, She'd say "Ohhh!" in her deep you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-no-way voice, and tell you there's no reason for her to stay over, it will not help your brother, and you will just have to be strong. Sleeping over is an absolute no-no, no matter what, no exceptions until after marriage.
If I were you I'd just apologize for asking, and explain it a little to show you didn't mean anything sexual. Explain that in our culture, close friends and family stay together in times of crisis or if someone is upset, and you didn't mean anything sexual, you just were just wanting her company by your side. You think of her so closely that it's like having a sister or old/best friend with you. Maybe if you explain it so she sees you're thinking of her as family, innocently, not sexually, it will help.
Then, never ever ever ever ever ever ever ask her to sleep over again.