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How do you handle relationship with your parents ? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-12 18:28:09 |Display all floors
I have no better way to treat this but to behave as I wish.

As I noticed, all the parents quarrel with their children. Why? I think it is Generation Gap. Look, Parents born in last century had this problem, and parents of our parents also had similar problems. The rest may be deduced by analogy. Therefore, it is not the problem of new generations but the problem of generation gaps exists between generations through human history, I think.

Specificly, quarrels represents disagreement according to generation gap. This is my experience.

What is your opinion? How do you handle generation gaps?
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毛病多多,爱好广泛。

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-12 19:53:32 |Display all floors
someone once said, 'you don't have to agree with them, you just love them'. I find this so damn right!

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-12 21:57:49 |Display all floors

more tolerance

Make them feel happy in speech ,but still  behave as you wish .
It's so-called " beautiful lies "
Be a rich man !!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-12 22:12:00 |Display all floors

Parents are so stupid you just have to lie to them

They worry about everything in the whole wide world FOR YOUR SAKE. If there is a robbery in South America they will think the whole world including China is unsafe.

So I just love them, but don't necessarily obey them. They don't dictate my life.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-8-13 09:10:15 |Display all floors
It's difficult. My father was so upset when I went on my trip to China. He was so worried, said it was stupid, he couldn't understand why I wanted to go, he wished I would just stay home, etc... So when I thought of moving there, I was so worried about how to handle it with him! I put it off, I thought about it and worried so much......

..... then when I told him, he didn't yell! I was so surprised! I thought "No, he will yell soon.... or maybe next time we talk about it..." but nope, not at all. I told him I thought he would have yelled by now, and he said "Well, I know you're going to do what you want to do, I can't stop you."

OMG, it was weird.
- don't underestimate your parents, they may surprise you
- they may understand more than you think they understand
- even if they don't understand you, be yourself anyway, be strong but respectful, help them to not WORRY about you, they love you and want the best for you although it may not be YOUR idea of the best.
- when things are not well, and you disagree, assure them that you love them and you always will
- although you may disagree instantly, listen to them, let them talk, and give their words some serious thought. Even if you know you won't change your mind, at least hear what their concerns are and think about it. Maybe you can compromise or do something small that will make them feel better.

For example of the last one: WHen my father was yelling at me not to go last year, I tried to understand why. It was because he was scared that something bad would happen to me on the flight (he is afraid of flying) or I might get lost in a foreign country, or whatever... so I made up an envelope with these things in it:
Copies of:
- my pasport
- my driver's license
- a recent picture of me (if a person is missing, the authorities want a picture)
- the name address and phone number of every hotel I'd be in
- the flight numbers
- phone number of a Chinese friend here in the US who speaks both languages and could call China if my father needed help finding me. I also gave that friend my hotel #'s and told her my dad was worrried, etc.

It eased his mind to know exactly where I'd be and know someone Chinese would help him contact me if necessary.
Of course I called him as soon as I could when I got to China.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-13 10:20:32 |Display all floors
^I suggest you register with US embassy as should as you get to China.
Only advantage of being American Citizen is that they actually looks after you when are you in a foreign country, and you don;t have to be White.

I think my parent only tell me not marry the prettiest girl because they tend to have bad attitudes. How I wish they were wrong but they seems to be right most of the time.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-8-13 10:35:44 |Display all floors
Originally posted by chinaimport at 2006-8-13 10:20
^I suggest you register with US embassy as should as you get to China.
Only advantage of being American Citizen is that they actually looks after you when are you in a foreign country, and you don ...


HAha... I just talked about that with my father TODAY!!! What a coincidence. He said recently with the UK terrorist events, the US sent an email about it to every American citizen who registered with them.

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