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It's difficult. My father was so upset when I went on my trip to China. He was so worried, said it was stupid, he couldn't understand why I wanted to go, he wished I would just stay home, etc... So when I thought of moving there, I was so worried about how to handle it with him! I put it off, I thought about it and worried so much......|
..... then when I told him, he didn't yell! I was so surprised! I thought "No, he will yell soon.... or maybe next time we talk about it..." but nope, not at all. I told him I thought he would have yelled by now, and he said "Well, I know you're going to do what you want to do, I can't stop you."
OMG, it was weird.
- don't underestimate your parents, they may surprise you
- they may understand more than you think they understand
- even if they don't understand you, be yourself anyway, be strong but respectful, help them to not WORRY about you, they love you and want the best for you although it may not be YOUR idea of the best.
- when things are not well, and you disagree, assure them that you love them and you always will
- although you may disagree instantly, listen to them, let them talk, and give their words some serious thought. Even if you know you won't change your mind, at least hear what their concerns are and think about it. Maybe you can compromise or do something small that will make them feel better.
For example of the last one: WHen my father was yelling at me not to go last year, I tried to understand why. It was because he was scared that something bad would happen to me on the flight (he is afraid of flying) or I might get lost in a foreign country, or whatever... so I made up an envelope with these things in it:
- my pasport
- my driver's license
- a recent picture of me (if a person is missing, the authorities want a picture)
- the name address and phone number of every hotel I'd be in
- the flight numbers
- phone number of a Chinese friend here in the US who speaks both languages and could call China if my father needed help finding me. I also gave that friend my hotel #'s and told her my dad was worrried, etc.
It eased his mind to know exactly where I'd be and know someone Chinese would help him contact me if necessary.
Of course I called him as soon as I could when I got to China.