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today,i found LEO wasn not on line and sense a strong feeling of lost~~~
yeh,i lost him~~and especially,i miss him.......desperately/////////
when the first time i saw him,i knew i like him.after we moved in the same house,i began to take care of his life considerately~~~cook everyday for him,prepare all kinds of fruits for him when he's watching TV.
however,he seems doesn't know why i act like that~is that i would want to be a housewife???no,not~~it's so hot now,i have to cook 2 hours everyday,can you imagine?if that there's isn't love that supports me,i'd surely quit.i'm not patient,always not~~~but facing the one i like,i can't and have to be patient.
Since i care,if i don't go back home,he will not cook by himself.so everytime,when there's a dating,i would wanna take him with me or i will give up and rush back to cook for him~~~god,i must have lost my mind.
that day,when i heard that he's chatting with a girl on the phone,my heart aches.yes,i do care.god,i care~~~~~~~what can i do??only went back to my room and cry silently~~~why am i so useless?you know that,being a good woman is not enough to attact a man's eye?right,,i'm not charming,might be.
i choose to love the one i like,i have to suffer all the bitterness.to the one who likes me,i am his pricecess.but to him,i changed into a slave,without any esteem~i hate myself,but sometimes,i can't control my feeling.it's the way i choose,i should learn to face it,is it??
when i saw him on line,i can have a sense of safety.when he is not,i began to feel depressed and down to the bottom.god,i'm not young any more,why i still act like this???
if he doesn't talk to me,i feel lost.as long as i can see him everyday and hear his voice,i'd feel happy.
i'm sick of myself now.i have to think of a way out.don't wanna continue anymore~~~pls give me your kind suggestion~~