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I feel very disappointed with the people of this forum [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-5-4 00:12:29 |Display all floors
Hi dears

I do understand some costumes and cultures in this world are different and some with very opositive points of view, depending the topics or the situations
I am a foreigner working and living one year and a half  in this amazing country. As a businessman i traveled many countries and  i found many differences and ways to live of  the people, but i think the only thing that is have not to be  different in our hearts, our minds and our souls, is the love, wherever we are.
I come to China and at the beginning was very difficult for me to interact with chinesse people, first, for the language, (very difficult to learn) but little by little i learn to know the people, to comunicate, ( well, most of the times in english) with chinesse who speak english
Well. one day i attended a party, most of them foreigners, and we talk about our lifes in this country, for some of them was very hard, for others don't  but most of us agreed that chinesse people are very cold, we agree that chinesse people are hard working people, most of i met are very loyal, and in the company where i used to work, all the chinesse people in office (around 8 persons) were very polite, nice but i felt very lonely when sometimes i need something from them and nobody help me, there were to shine sometimes, so , i understood
but a chinesse friend, a woman, she told me, yes, chinesse people are good but they are cold, we were talking about  feelings and love situations, and i think that it is a fact.
The reason why i post this topic, is on April 11, less than one month ago, one person of  this forum jasonlin766 posted i think a nice add, it said

Mother's day (the title)

Mother's day is coming.Will you say "I love you " to your mother or buy a bunch of flowers for your mother?


I think it was a nice post, and wrongly i thougth that many people will reply it and it was a good chance to the people express what they think about her mother, but , that post got only 2 replies, and one of them was mine.
The Mother's day in my country (i am originally from southamerica) and in USA ( where i used to live) this day is very important, (also very commercial) is more than an important day, that day (second sunday of may) everybody dedicates their symphaty, their love, their cares, and is the day that we share the day togheter and the restaurants full of people, anyway is a grand event, all families togheter, some people travel long distances to spend the day togheter.
Anyway, when i saw this post, i spend my busy time to replied it, but my surprise it was and it is that here in this forum, nobody else reply it, i know this forum is about friendship, love and relationship, i think is hard to avoid to see that Mother's day" post. and the love for the mother is unique. What happened to the chinesse people? (and not chinesse in this forum?) love is a great feeling, you can love your car, you can love your house, you can love your pet, you can love your bf/gf,  you can love many things, but the love for the mother i think is one of the greats love that someone can feel. for the person who brougth us to this world, the person who took care of us when we were child and we were sick, the person who we learn the basic things in our lifes,  well, there are many things to thanks to our mothers.
When i said  the chinesse people ( i am not trying to offend somebody) are cold, i mean it, when i was working with 8 chinesse people in the same office, (most of them in their 20s) i asked them, one by one in different times, how many times you calll your mother? (most of them originally from other cities) some of them said, "one month", others said, "mmm maybe 3 weeks", another said, "i think more that one month" and some of them visit their families only once in a year, living only one hour from their hometown, i said myself "why?" but nobody answer me.
and i still i wondering why, why, the love is also for our mothers, the love is also a great feeling not only for our partners (bf/gf)
i have mother mother living 15 hours (by plane) far from me, even i am mature man, i thank God to have my mother alive, because is the person who you can received her love and her bless wherever you are
dears, i don't know why here in China or in this forum the people are like this, we can't ignore the person who is the only one who love us forever, you can have many bfs/gfs, you can love very much your husband/wife, but the love for our mothers is only big, loyal and great love (i know is another kind of love but it is love too)  and her love is really forever.

I saw many post, about love, about sex, about friendship and some post with bullsh... (with many replies and many viewers) but is not my intention to mark differences in cultures or countriesl, but dear friends, take time to express something for your mother, if i am wrong, please let me know, or ignore this post
I apologize if somebody feel uncomfortable with this post, but it is my feeling, is my thougths and is also the love for my mother.

Thank you

Force_one

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-5-4 01:02:05 |Display all floors
I agree with you. Perhaps many people come to this section just to have fun and get rid of stress, and don't want to be serious too often. That's why I often come here. I'm sure it doesn't mean they don't love their mothers. For me personally, I have a stepmother whom I will buy flowers for, and maybe a card. My real mother has passed away, and my stepmother is more like "my father's wife" than a mother, but I will still give her a simple card and flowers.

I also sometimes give a nice card to my aunt, who tried her best to help raise me and made sure I always came to family gatherings and kept me connected to my mother's side of the family even though my mother is gone. Now as an adult, I appreciate that greatly and I thank her for it now & then.
I am not rich.  :L

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-5-4 01:14:16 |Display all floors
What can I say... If I wanna talk about serious stuff, I'd do it in a boardroom, where we hold meetings about "serious stuff."
"扶摇万重兮,
放我麒麟冲荡。
清清渭水兮,
舞我手中霓裳。 "

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-5-4 04:02:51 |Display all floors

Reply #1 force_one's post

This is an open forum and  people are not willing to express their private feelings here until you have a competition of writing "My Mother".

Blood relation is the strongest relation in the world.  The love between the parents and the offsprings is the purest love remaining in the world.

Being a Chinese, I tell you the truth, I have never said "I love you, mom" to my mother, never.  Cold? No!

If you see the way my mom talks to me, if you see the way when I am back to China facing my mom....I don't say "I love you, mom", we don't hug each other...we don't kiss each other...I just kneel down on my knees and put my face on her lap...she combs my hair using her fingers...

And whenever we end the telephone calls, we never say "I love you".  Cold? No.  Let me tell you how we end up the phone calls:

My mom: "...Okey, you see, I've talked too much...the telephone charge is so expensive (international call)...you take care, don't catch malaria...have you caught malaria?"
Simba: "No, mom, no, never" [never? aha, I told the lie]
My mom: "That's good.  Okey, I have to hang up"
Simba: "No, mom, I can afford the phone charges, I like to hear your voice."
My mom: "Hmmm. I have to hang up..."
Simba: "Okey, you just hang up, mom."
My mom: "Hang up?"
Simba: "emm!"
[click...she hangs up the phone]

You see, we even don't say "bye"...

Cold????

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-5-4 05:49:22 |Display all floors

my words

might hit a spot somewhere, but my family isn't like a family, sadly, we are like colleagues who do not eat together, we do not fully trust eachother... and at times, I feel I am the only one who wants my family to BE a family because noone else cares...

For me, when I love someone, I prove it, not with words(because I'm not very good at that!!!), I prove it beyond words... you know, when a feeling is so strong it shows and for me, I believe my actions, is solid proof that clears out every shadow of every doubt about my feelings for people...

If anyone I love today dies, I will have no regrets whatsoever... my rule in life is to treat people asthough there is no tomorrow!!!

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-5-4 09:34:33 |Display all floors

Reply #1 force_one's post

chinese prefers to express the "silent" love and not what you  preferred that is expression.

We think the silent obedience is better........
What's on your mind now........ooooooooooooooo la la....Kind Regards

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-5-4 09:53:54 |Display all floors
Chinese silent love may confuse you.

But what you should konw,is that

chinese prefer to express their love with action more than words.

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