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Thanks for the examples, mdoinit.
Let me join the discussion with some suggestions and comments of my own.|
My heart found peace again after the robbery on Wednesday morning. I showed up in the office like any other Monday.
Suggestion: I showed up in the office as I would any other Monday.
Comments: You can’t show up in the office “like any other Monday” – you can’t equate yourself to Monday. You can say: today is like any other Monday – here you are equating today with any other Monday, which is OK.
It was 16C the day before yesterday in Changsha. When I embarked (disembarked) from the train in Beijing yesterday, it was a few degrees below zero. How could I survive the northerly winds? Ya, the wind was so fierce.
Suggestion: It was 16C the day before yesterday in Changsha, but quite a few degrees below zero when I got off the train in Beijing. North winds a blowin’, how am I going to survive? Gosh, it’s just too much.
Comment: The blogger is contrasting the balmy 16C weather in Changsha and the bitter sub-zero temperature in Beijing, so it is better to put this in one sentence. Also, embark/disembark is too formal for a blog, when everything else is informal, e.g., “ya/gosh”. I think “got off” or “stepped off” is better.
Note: 北风那个吹 is taken from the theme song of 《白毛女》, so I am using "north winds a blowin'" to match the style.
It's all over now. Now that the few fundamental problems have been resolved, I feel so light.
Suggestion: With most of the major issues resolved, I can now relax a bit.
Comment: Feel so light can also mean physically light because you have been on a diet. Best to avoid confusion by using “relax”, a term that is closer to the original meaning of 轻松 anyway. Also, avoid translating 问题 to problems unless you know explicitly it is a problem. 问题 can be a problem, a question, a misunderstanding, an inconvenience, something to do, etc. So “issue” is a better word.
The wind today was exceptionally strong. I even doubted if this really help accelerate the aging of the faces of the pedestrians, raising the wrinkle index.
Comment: My understanding of 我甚至怀疑这么大的风的确能够加速 is that: I suspect the strong wind can indeed accelerate the aging… (Whereas your version means it cannot accelerate the aging…)
Fortunately, the environment of my office is not bad at all - a lot of space for everyone working there. It is no a problem for someone to stretch a bit to improve body resistance.
Comment: Here the blogger is talking about her own office/work area – she has a lot of private space and can do a bit of stretching exercise in her own area.
A few bad lucks hit the people in the office lately. A few colleagues dropped their belongings or had them removed by robbers. All these happened out of the blue. Everyone was overpowered by this devilish air and Siberia cold wind.
Comment: 好几个同事丢了东西 A few colleagues lost their belongings (it really means the items were stolen)
好几个同事。。。被抢 The subject here is 好几个同事 – they were robbed, not removed by robbers.
Siberia cold wind --> cold air from Siberia OR Siberian cold air – cold air to be symmetrical with devilish/evil air.
Anyway, on a brand new Sunday, a new atmosphere is naturally in our expectation - new treats, new mood and new lives.
Suggestion: Anyway, as it is a new Monday, I naturally hope that things can start fresh - fresh weather, fresh deals, fresh feelings, and fresh routines.
Comment: Why does the blogger expect new things? Because it is a new Monday. So I suggest adding “as it is” after the first comma to make the logic clear. Also, 新气象，新待遇，新心情，新“生活”are not sure things, so you can’t “expect” them like you expect to go to bed everyday. Here I think “hope” is a better word.
[ Last edited by laoxianggg at 2005-12-16 08:05 AM ]