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chinese men way of thinking [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2005-12-6 04:27:20 |Display all floors
I have been a close friend with a chinese guy only through internet.We have been taking for two years .This contact shows me that the chinese friend of mine  does not regard me as a friend only.He keeps making some hints which make me think that he is in love with me.I feel the same with himbut I have some doubts because he has not spoken openly to me.My problem is the following.He is 30 years old and I am 40.He knows that.My question is the following.Can a chinese man be in love with a western woman 10years older than him?Can age be a barrier for a chinese man?I need an answer for that.Please....

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Rank: 1

Post time 2005-12-6 07:00:21 |Display all floors

It may cause the problem, I think

Well, I am a chinese guy, I think that it may cause the problem. If he were 35, and you were 45, that would be better. I mean, when you're getting older, age barrier will play a less important role in the relationship, do  you know what I mean? Chinese guys are different with western guys, they are shy, won't say "love you'' all the time. They put it more into the actions. Well, if you feel that way,  why not you take the initial move to ask him frankly? I think that his parents may have a problem with that, at least from the elder people I've known. Ask him if he would mind and if he would care about how people surrounding him think. There is no definite answer for that. It depends on individuals. You know him better than anyone here. So just go straight to ask him if you really like him!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-6 07:21:39 |Display all floors

I have learned that in the Chinese culture the man being older is acceptable.

But I have also learned in life that if there is real love between the couple age is not an issue......... Quite often the man dies before the woman when she is at an age where having someone nearby is important. I think it is something you both should explore. If he is faithful to you and you to him then there is no question. However that is another issue in Chinese culture...... It's ok for the man to screw around but not the woman. So that is an issue you will have to get out of the way right up front. A pr-nup with serious penalty to pay on both sides would be appropriate if it is enforcable.
   Neither of you will never know unless you do it. A life time of regret is a high price to pay for what could have been bliss for both of you. If it doesn't work, then part equally with no regret or animosity. The time you spend together is and the quality of that time is up to both of you equally.
To hell with what society thinks. You are not living with society. Besides, who has to tell their age anyway? I'm 60 but look 90 because I have had a good life full of adventure. No regrets.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-12-6 08:08:11 |Display all floors

many thanks for your reply

I want to thank you so much for your advice and your sincere answer.Many many thanks.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-12-6 09:43:55 |Display all floors


Hey Spiritrace, you could be my dad!!!
Ya learn something new every day!

I agree that you should at least try. When faced with a dilemma, I ask myself "If I'm on my deathbed and look back (or even really old and look back) which will I wish I had done?"

Will I wish I did A or B? You don't want to look back and wish you had tried something but were too afraid.

I'd like to hear more about age difference or chinese men's feelings from Chinese people.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-12-6 18:10:08 |Display all floors

chinese men

They love to hit their girls. They view you as being inferior and if you actually contradict them, they will not hesistate to hit you. When they think you are not pretty enough, they will either leave you or cheat on you.

Either way start taking some self defence courses. You will need it if you date a chinese man.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-12-6 18:48:13 |Display all floors

you must be kidding

come on you can not be serious.It must be a lie.Are you a chinese guy or a woman victim to a chinese?I can not believe you

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