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About " AA System" in a marriage or Let's go Dutch [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-3 15:41:32 |Display all floors
Hello, freinds,

i would like to listen to your opinions or experience of  money problem in your family.

Most of the Chinese families are used to join their money to support the family , which make them think they belong to a family and should share everything. But now more and more young ppl prefer to adapt "AA System" to  live more independently . They only take out a part of their money to afford the houses , food , kids' education etc. Both husbands and wives take the financial  responsiblity to the family equally or so.  

Freinds from China or any other countries , what's your opinions about it and how are the families surported financially  in your countries?  

Any comments  are greatly appreciated.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-12-5 11:28:16 |Display all floors

some examples...

...from America...
It's really hard to say how people arrange the finances in a marriage in America; there are so many different ways. I can give my sister's marriage as an example of a common way people work it out if the husband earns plenty of money:

He earns a lot of money. She does not have to work, and does not want to work. She does most of the housework and most of the childcare (they have one son). He does household repairs and sometimes cooks because he likes to. He also helps their son with schoolwork, and so does my sister.

Even though he earns all the money, she is in control of it. That may sound strange, but it is easier for him to not worry about the money. He knows he earns enough, so he leaves it to her to pay the bills, buy the food, etc. She can also buy herself nice things sometimes without his permission because she is not ridiculous about it. She understands money, understands how much they have and how much they can afford to spend.

Some men are more controlling about money and give their wives an "allowance", though I don't actually know anyone who does that. Most couples I know work similarly to my sister's household. In america, women often grow up knowing as much about money as men, so as long as they're not stupid about it, they often handle the money their husband earns.

If one spouse's family needs help (a parent gets sick, etc), the other spouse would consider it as his/her own and they would help each other's families however they can.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-12-5 13:26:04 |Display all floors

hmmmm

to freakyqi: sounds really great about the way you said about supporting the family.
as far as i know, one of my friends, he pays all. food, gas, water, house rent.... everything. but his girlfriend buys her own nice things with her own money. :)
another one who pays the rent of the apt. his girlfriend pays the supplies in life.
i think the ways are common in china.
another way is as the auther said, the couples gather their income to support the family togather. :)

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-7 15:53:15 |Display all floors

Thanks; freakyqi

Thank you for your examples from America,,,,

most Chinese ppl think the AA Syatem is learned from the Westerners. But as you mentioned " Most couples....work similarly to my sister's household" , and " there are so many different ways. " , the ways of financial arrangement are various according to the different situation in ur country. .

In China, your sister's exists ,too. And it sounds good that the couple help each other when their parents need help in ur country.

In China ppl have a leagal obligation to take care of their parents. So in most cases, the couple give parrants help when needed.On the other hands, if the parents have high income and more money , they usually have no hesitattion to help their children ( Chinese parents spoil the kids too much).  You can see especailly in big cities, many parents offer 15% the loan of the their houses.

Thanks, freakyqi
So what about the situation in the other countires?

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-12-7 15:59:51 |Display all floors

eh...

i am fine with that AA system..

i think its cool system..i dont wanna owe anyone...its cool to be financially independent...=).....

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-7 16:03:00 |Display all floors

to tiffang

Thanks for your info.

Are u Chinese ?  young ppl in China prefer the way you mention in your examples (, one of my friends, he pays all. food, gas, water, house rent.... everything. but his girlfriend buys her own nice things with her own money.,another one who pays the rent of the apt. his girlfriend pays the supplies in life)

.
BUT it is still very common that " the couples gather their income to support the family togather"

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-7 16:06:51 |Display all floors

hi

It's cool . Angle !  I believe you are an independent girl, though young but strong enough.

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