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An interesting subject came up in our house tonight....... [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2005-11-27 11:45:45 |Display all floors
I am American and my wife and daughter are Chinese. I would like opinions from Chinese women and men and western men and women. Just mention it on your answer.

The question: What is the master of the house and what is expected of the master of the house.

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Post time 2005-11-28 04:02:50 |Display all floors

an American woman says...

Well, you probably already know most American's points of view if that's where you're from, but you asked everyone, so...

I've never really thought of anyone as being "master" of a house. I'd say it takes teamwork. By that I mean a willingness to balance and share responsibilities and decision-making however the two people see fit. Every couple might be different. Every person in the house, even children and grandparents, should have their roles, even if it's simply taking out the garbage.

As far as MASTER, that's weird... do you mean like, who can tell the other one what to do? Or if there's a disagreement, who gets the final say? Again, I say neither, or compromise or take turns or something. To me, the word "master" is very..... dictatorial... like the master is the king or is totally responsible for the others. I don't think that's ever the case, or should be. Then it's like you have slaves instead of a family.

As a single mom, I guess I'm automatically "master", but I still keep harmony & give my son a sense of control and freedom by letting him decide some things within limits - like:
"Ok, we need to clean the bathroom, do you want to clean the toilet or the bathtub?"
or
"We have an hour before we leave - either do schoolwork or clean your room."

I'm being master, but letting him decide something.

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Post time 2005-11-28 05:10:50 |Display all floors

hmmm...

I thought I answered this, but an hour later it's still not here.

I'm not sure what you mean by "master". In my opinion, no one would be master of a house, everyone (or at least the adults) would fairly share decision making, responsibilities, chores, etc, depending on their ability, desire, etc. I think if two people are married, there wouldn't be too much problem deciding who's responsible for what.

I'm a single mom, so I'm by default the "master". However, I let my son decide some things for himself. If the bathroom needs to be cleaned, I ask him which he'd rather do, the toilet or tub.
I'm "master" but I let my son have some sense of freedom and control.

What specificaly do you mean by "master"? That's a weird word for me that brings up images of dictators. I don't think anyone should be "master".

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Post time 2005-11-28 05:12:20 |Display all floors

testing... yi er san si...

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Post time 2005-11-28 05:20:35 |Display all floors

You are coming in loud and clear.......

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Post time 2005-11-29 01:02:15 |Display all floors

try again...

I wrote two other posts here and they didn't go through. Shoot, now I gotta think of what I said. Again.

As an american woman, I never seriously heard the term "master of the house" except on tv. In my opinion, there would be no master, as that implies control over the others. Hopefully the adults in the house would share decision-making and responsibilities however it suits that couple.

As a single mom, I suppose I am "master" of the house because I am the only adult. However, I still let my son help make some decisions and have some control. He can help decide what to eat, what to do for fun, which chores (among ones I give him) he wants to do, etc.

examples:
"Ok, we need to clean the bathroom, do you want to clean the bathtub or the toilet and sink?"
Food shopping: "ick out 3 fruits and 3 vegetables." or, "ick whatever juice you want as long as it's 100% juice."
"You have an hour before we leave, either do schoolwork or clean you room"

So, as Master of the Univer- I mean House, I try to guide things while letting him feel some sense of freedom and control.

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Post time 2005-11-29 02:26:36 |Display all floors

Being a single male or female parent is tough.......

Very difficult to fill in the male or female need for balance in the childs life... The subject came up from my Chinese brother in law. In China it is still considered that the male is the "Master of the House". In that I have a Chinese wife and daughter I am trying to understand what they expect of me since they have proclaimed me "Master of the house" .  In most relationships one or the other will assume a natural dominance. With me, it is a little different because I tend to approach it with balance. There would be rare instances where I would assert my dominance by request or choice. There are some things my wife just does not want to decide on. No problem.
   Your answer has verified my thoughts for a good single mother and you also apply some controlled balance. I think that is probably the best for the family. It gives them limited authority without fear of  retaliation or punishment from the Alpha being. Thanks for your input.

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