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On Virginity [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2005-8-25 13:42:23 |Display all floors
Chinese society has been placing a large amount of value of a bride's virginity
till the wedding day. Some argue this has a lot to do with the feudalism that ha
s been ruling Chinese society for thousands of years, while some others advocate
women should be brave enough to break this by standing up to take pre-marital s
ex as males do, saying if all of the females do this, the reality will leave no
space for males to be pricky in issue relating virginity.
To me, this is a complex issue.I won't simply nod to any of the aboves.
I am open to hear others' opinion, while holding my own as the following:
From a medical point of view, virginity is not in existence from the moment you
think of sex in your brain. Who among us dare to say that he or she has never ha
d fantasies on this?
So virginity is now left at an awkward position: To keep or not to keep? ---Now
we are discussing under nonmedical premise I suppose. Cos there is probably no o
ne who can qualify the medical definition of virgin in their 20s.
The tendency in both Korea and Japan has been noticed: Women are willing to spen
d their "first night" with someone they do not love. While this phenomenon is st
range in us bystanders eyes, their explanation may be even more strange: It is b
ecause they do not get happiness but pain the first time, which makes them give
it to someone they do not have affection with. So this can be called a "pain-get
ting-rid-of process".
Sure the technology today has advanced enough to prevent them from pregnancy in
the above cases, and if they are cautious enough and armed with some medical kno
wledge, they should not be easily trapped in STD (sex transmitted diseases) eith
What I am hoping to highlight here is the meaning of virginity in sense of psych
ology.  It is more than certain that there are people who insist love and sex ar
e two different matters, and so are love and marriage. But personally I so much
would like to experience the blended happiness of them all. All of them should b
e mixed into one, named marriage for me. And if not, I'd choose not to experienc
e it, no matter how old I am.
I am more than grateful that my educational experience has prepared me for an in
dependent life, in which there is no necessity for a marriage to seek financial
security. Under this premise, the freedom to choose a kid of life is guaranteed.

Sex should be easy, with the rate among college student 30% or higher who has ha
d it unwed.
Sex is hard, with it unproperly had, chances of STD, AIDS, and other transmitted
dieases are brought together. And above all, the most profound impact, named th
e psychological impact on one's whole life time. I only hope everyone of those w
ho takes it for fun could have a chance to go into marriage consultation medical
center and intern there for a while, then they can see how many out of the crow
ds are now paying heavy price for the mend of psychological impact resulted from
an unproper sex life before their marriage, and what price they are now paying
for the indefference they have towards their current spouse. It could be removed
, though, given the medical progress. But this should never be expected to be ea
sy and why bother to pay the price while it is not necessary?
Sex is also divine. It brings two souls even closer than expected. And although
I have not experieced this, I hold it to be self-evident. (No one has to kill an
other to know killing is illegal:))
Conservative? Maybe in a way I am. So what do you think?

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Post time 2005-8-25 17:19:05 |Display all floors

Re: On Virginity

wingedheart wrote: "The tendency in both Korea and Japan has been noticed: Women are willing to spend their "first night" with someone they do not love."

Wow... go to Vietnam, and you will find girls in their lower teens regularly having sex. I believe it is similar in Japan and Korea and most developed nations.

wingedheart wrote: "While this phenomenon is strange in us bystanders eyes"

No, it is not. It is only strange to people of backward cultures.

wingedheart wrote: "their explanation may be even more strange: It is because they do not get happiness but pain the first time"

What pain? Most girls don't experience pain.

wingedheart wrote: "Sex is also divine. It brings two souls even closer than expected. And although
I have not experieced this, I hold it to be self-evident."

Don't fool yourself. Sex is just a tool. It can be used in marriage or any relationship to strengthen the bonds. It can be used by itself. In the former case, it will get pretty dull after a while, and you start to long for something new and exciting.

wingedheart wrote: "Conservative? Maybe in a way I am. So what do you think?"

I think you need to get laid. I hear Chinese girls oftentimes don't even play with themselves, which will just lead to an awkward feeling toward sex. If you can't give yourself an orgasm, neither can anyone else.

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Post time 2005-8-26 04:28:30 |Display all floors

i agree wingedheart

Dear wingedheart,

i'm asuming that your female, either way with what you said I believe compleatly. Sex is the joining of two soles it should be somthing special between two married people in love. If sex isn't somthing special you share with only that one person what is? What else can you give to them?


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Post time 2005-8-26 14:13:20 |Display all floors

on virginity...

i think chinese girls shouldnt go the easy way on virginity but i agree they should become less strict on this issue specially when i have met some 26 years old girls in china that are single, still need several years to finish their graduate studies and they still want to be virgin. i mean what s the point to keep waiting to enjoy sex until u r 30 or more? i m not saying go and sleep with the first guy u can, but if u r 21 and u r in a serious relationship, well why not?

my point is why would u like to marry with a guy who wants to marry a virgin when he s not?? i believe if u meet a guy who want to marry a girl who is virgin, instead of thinking of the person, her personality, etc, think what  a loser mother fucker he is!, i m sure he s very macho, u should think what a male chauvinist that man is, a man thinking that the girls should serve the guy, that the guy has rights for being a guy but a girl cant because girls should be like this or that. i think that if u marry a guy like this odds are very high that u ll live in hell and not in paradise.

i dont know who i ll marry but i dont care if a girl is virgin or not, as long as i know she is very special. the idea of virginity for me is for guys who are very macho man, always willing to put himself above a woman because he is "the man".

bottom line, enjoy sex in ur relationship even before marriage as long as u have been in the relationship the time enough to know the guy is serious and he s not playing with ur feelings. going to marriage without being virgin? what the hell it doesnt matter! u should know that the important is that the guy loves u for who you are deep inside, ur feelings, the way u r, etc,  and not to spend "one great night" ; because as i said i think he s the kind of guy who will continue his playboy chauvinistic thinking later making ur happy idea of marriage an inferno. Dont be afraid of who u r, there are many guys who think like me, virginity is an old male chauvinist idea that only reduces the role of women seeing them more as objects instead of a loving person.

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Post time 2005-8-26 21:52:48 |Display all floors

i just threw up on my laptop

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Post time 2005-8-26 22:23:41 |Display all floors

Let's put away the word 'backward' for a while

Liangzai wrote:''haven't We been patient with you? Haven't We been helping you for along time? Haven't We been giving you food aid, investment aid and other forms of aid? Haven't We poured money into your country, providing innumerable jobs? Haven't We supplied you with technology to overcome your problems of antiquity? Haven't We provided you with knowhow and expertise to effectively run businesses and the economy at large? Haven't We been selling you computers, software, medical equipment, and so on so that you can modernize your country? Haven't We patiently welcomed you into the modern world, with membership in WTO and also giving you the right to host the Olympics, despite your fragile record on h'uman r'ights and so on?

And this is how you repay Our lenience!'''

Obviousely he cannot afford to say anything else!

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Post time 2005-8-27 11:51:07 |Display all floors

go raiden

GO raiden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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