Author: robertcheng

Can one love two grils ? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-4-27 19:23:54 |Display all floors

For pest -control

Firstly, I'd like to thank pest -control  for givng  the enlightened remarks to me .
   
  You are absolutely an intellectual man  from whom I'm so lucky to secure some suggestions .

  You are right that God makes no perfect woman  . For me, also for       most  of  men  ,certainly desire a partner who owns good personalities and character, and the more, the better . It's perfect that I'd like to make everything , including me love . Maybe It's the reason why I fluctuate between the two girls and can't make a decision .

  By the way , can a mother's temper  reflect her daughter's qualities and behaviors ?

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-4-27 20:23:46 |Display all floors

Robert

" By the way , can a mother's temper reflect her daughter's qualities and behaviors ? "
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100% or better still make that 100000000000000000 % just to be sure.

If the father of that girl, the mothers husband, is treated like dirt or worse, so for sure, will you be treated the same.

If the mother is nasty or has a mean streak, so too will the daughter.

I had a son get married only two weeks ago, he is 24 and I interfered with the first time he tried to get married, he was 20 but this time my older sister said to me, do not interfere, no matter how much you love him, because it is his life to live not mine and as much as I would prefer to live his life for him, as all the mistakes I have already made, I can not and in the end I did not, I had to surrender and let him go, the point being, that I know in 3 to 7 years, I will have to be there to save him from the misery of divorce and sure divorce is " NOT CERTAIN " but it is highly " probable."

Fathers who love their son's too much, suffer terribly.

Fathers, who have lived long and interesting lives, who love their son's too much, suffer a fate far worse than any torture.

Terrible suffering.

With women, they change Robert, they are one way when they are 16-19 then they change again around 24-27 and then again at about 32-34, the point is, what you see with your eyes in that 18-20 year old now, is
" NOT " what you will get and have as your wife at 35 years old, she will change and she will change much, but you will change little, you will remain much as you are now, until the day you die, situations and circumstances may influence your nature, more hard or more soft, but the basics of Robert will not change, but  " ABSOLUTELY SHE WILL ".

Robert, you say above, men are not perfect, well yes, that is 100% correct and that is why trouble comes, men are very imperfect, men have much wrong with them, you need a women, who knows you are faulty and loved you for it, you need a woman who understands you are not perfect, and that you can and will make mistakes, she after all should be your friend, over and above all other things and friends will accept you with the faults, no matter how many and sorry to say, but the more strong the man, the more good the man, the more faults he will have.

Men are very faulty beings, be sure of it and some women want or need or desire to " CORRECT " the faults in a man, this is a grave and fatal error, terminal for a marriage, as men who have faults, remain that way until they die, the woman, must love you with YOUR FAULTS, because they are never going to go away.

If your father loves you dearly, forgive him for his actions as he tries to protect you from things that will hurt you, until he closes his eyes and waves his hands and let's you go.........poor fathers.

Anyway, Robert, as the girl is most probably 19-21 she will change again ( two times ) each time worse than the first time, this is why you want the softest nature, the more easy going girl, the one who forgives all your imperfections the most, DO NOT MARRY THE ONE YOU LOVE, love is not enough Robert, DO NOT MARRY FOR PASSION, passion is not enough Robert, it will cool and then will become " ICE " pure " ICE ".

Love also turns to hate Robert, they are close relatives.

This is YOUR life you are thinking about here Robert.

You can be rich and you can lose the money and you can win it back again, over and over, you can win 1000 times, you can be king many times, you can fail at school and still end up the richest man China ever saw, but one bad marriage can and most often will destroy you, if you survive a bad marriage, you will be hurt and be bitter and forever you will be more cold when maybe you would have been warm.

Women can destroy you Robert, men can only injure you, slightly.

You are very lucky and most fortunate she is a Chinese girl, they have more quality and are more tough and sturdy and reliable, but just the same they will do things that females do.

So, you want the most soft one and you need to verify you are not being cheated by a study of the mother, check your sources, verify, is she just making me think she is COOL, CALM and WARM, or is she about to explode and destroy my whole life.

So, Robert, choose the girl with the mother who is most nice, if both mothers are horrid, choose neither, no matter what.

Choose the girl with the softest and most calm nature, calculate the two future changes and can you live with that and if you calculate that you can, fine, choose her, and maybe God decides to give you an even break and you stay married for the rest of your life, because if she is cool and calm, a nice nature, you are after all friends and you can adjust a little here and a little there and you will get by.

99% of Chinese woman are loyal and true, so that is not an issue.

Her nature, that is the issue, switch off the love and the passion and close your eyes to how pretty or soft she is and look deeper, look deep inside, would you like her, if you met her in the street, would you like to be stuck on an Island with her as the only other person, does she do things when she eats that drive you nuts, or things similar to that, because if she does, it will MAGNIFY x 1000 times in a marriage.

There is more Robert, much more, but that is enough to satisfy me, that because you looked to be a nice guy, you needed to be kept as safe as possible and I feel I have given you good and reliable and most of all, tried and verified and checked advice, you take care and remember only poor men are good men, so the more rich you become, consider her, whoever she is and remember also, that if you are similar ages, she will get older than you faster and you will retain your good looks, so , know that now, going into the relationship.

Remember, if you marry her, she becomes a wife and a mother and the other younger girls will always be more attractive, measure evrything, be fair, she marry's you, so she becomes a mother and a wife, the other girls are single, they will always look better, that is just the way it is.

Good luck Robert and good fortune to you.

Choose with a clear calm head, under no pressure.

Never allow TEARS to make YOU destroy YOUR life.

P.S. If you have GRANDMOTHERS, you could introduce her to them and use that EXTENDED extra verification, if she is trouble, 50% chance one of the Grandmothers will see it.

:)

Have a good life Robert

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Added:

Reading your first thread post again, I would say the first girl, you said she is gentle and considerate you said the second one gets angry, she will only get more angry, sorry Robert if I give too much advice.

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Added 2:

Your thread is: Can you love 2 girls, well yes, that is the problem, you can love 4,000 all just as much as the other, but marriage, you can only marry one, that is where the " HOOK " is.

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Added 3:

One girl is far away, probably very loyal to you, missing you, the other one is close at hand, instant warmth, step back Robert.

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Added 4:

Maybe I should give you a 5 year loan interest free to go visit the first one.
Maybe that would give you an instant answer

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Added 5:

I also hope like hell that you did not tell ONE about TWO or TWO about ONE, because if you told TWO about ONE that explains many things and DO NOT TELL ONE ABOUT TWO, ever.

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Added 6:

You want a 5 year interest free loan to visit number one.

?

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-4-27 23:38:55 |Display all floors

Pest - control

Thanks !  I needn't a 5 years interest  free loan ,for I could see the first one every  vacation when I came back to my hometown.

   By the way , Pest - control (maybe I should call you uncle pest -contorl, for I got to know you have a son at the age of 24  form your last post . ), and your nicked name of this forum is interesting . After reading the posts you had replied to , I nearly  deem you as my  idol.So I'm very interested in you and wanna get some acquaintance with you though It's very impolite .I feel terribly sorry to  ask your some private questions as following :
No.1 : Do you live in China now ?
No.2 : What do you do ?
Oh, It's too late , the lights in my dorm  will turn out after a while . Next time I will ask you more questions or send a message to you .Is that ok ? I hope I don't interrupt you .

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-4-28 01:31:46 |Display all floors

pest-control is a sage

oh my goodness, robert, please listen to pest-control!!!  i was also amazed at his wisdom.  obviously, he has lots of experiences in this area.

i've only been married just over two years now and can say that everything pest-control wrote is absolutely true, as far as i can see.  i wish pest-control was around for me five years ago ... it would have saved a lot of trouble.  luckily, i ended up with the right girl (but for all the wrong reasons).  thank God for having mercy on me, cause i could have been married to the other one, who i also loved but we would have destroyed each other, i think, maybe even grown to hate one another.

i agree you should go with number one.  she seems nicer.  think about this, if you were in the same city with number one and far away from number two, would you still miss number two?  

the advice about the mothers is absolutely correct.

the advice about attractiveness is absolutely correct (there will always be prettier girls).

my father told me my mother changed so much over the years ... to become more like her mother.  it's true.  my father, on the other hand, has also changed.  he used to be poor, hard, and with a tiger's ambition ... now he is rich, soft, and like an old toothless lion.  (will this happen to me?  i'm already pretty soft!)  i love my parents both, and they love each other--i'm only observing.

i think this post should be made a recommended post.  every boy needs to read what pest-control wrote!!!  moderators, please!!!  have mercy on the next generation of chinese husbands!!!

i will continue to boost this post so every young man can read it.  thank you, pest-control.  you've done china a great service.

ts

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-5-5 23:24:33 |Display all floors

I'm so lucky to have come across so many wise people here !

After making a survey , I find out , by and large, the point that daughters are similar to her mothers is right .
      My grandmother , has a gentle and talkactive character , and my mother ,who is  considerate and easygoing . Moreover, The bad habit of  complaining of my mother is inheritant from my grantmother too . Again, one girl in my class is a self-centered  one and even incompatible with other students .The other day , I got to know that her mother was a rude and superficial woman who got angry easily .
    At first , I held it's just a coincidence . But after I observed some more mothers and daughters , I believed the point was  ture , at least in most cases.
    Maybe I am still too young and need to learn more things !

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-5-5 23:53:25 |Display all floors

re: robert

i think it's time to consider the words of monty python's knights of the roundtable when considering your college classmate.

in their words: "RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!"

you should break off relations with her because the longer you drag it out, the more unfair it will be to both the college and the hometown girls.

ts

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-5-6 18:19:42 |Display all floors

211club : Run away ? Is that too extreme ?

211club, you said that It's time for me to break up with my collegemate and run away from her . I get  A LITTLE ( just a little) confused by your post  . Can't we two just be friends ? Give me your points . ^_^

     Frankly , I got together with her less than before but contacted  more with my hometown girl .    Does  this mean pest-control's words  are right ? It's so magical , for he recommended the first girl .
  
      The other day , I had  a  detailed retrospect of  my association with the two girls .Fortunately,  I got something :

    First , I know the first one better than my collegemate though we don't see each other everyday now , for we had a three-year sturdy relationship .

     Second,   friendship is more than love between my collegemate and me , which I realized several days ago . I remembered that she helped me so much before we became good friends that  I felt affection on her . Maybe It's a ridiculous thought , but I think It's true to some extent .

  Now I'm more confident in  my futrue with my first girl , but I still feel aimless and frustrated sometimes . "Will something terrible happen to us ?" OR "Can we two make it  finally ? "  ……

  Nevertheless, my collegemate is  a friend worth getting along .
In my opinion , I needn't make a breach with her .

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