Author: starryeyed

Is it normal..? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2005-4-8 01:35:02 |Display all floors

oh man! Ok, I'm a bit tipsy, so sue me for drink and write ^^;

Sorry, just came back from a lunch outing, and I have a lot of beer in my system, so excuse me if I'm out of line.

Starryeyed, try to put yourself in the guy's shoes.  I grew up in the US, but if a girlfriend proposed to me, I would be caught off guard and be pretty shocked.  It goes against the mainstream culture, it goes against our ego, and isn't something that we are conditioned to expect.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it.  No, logically, there is nothing wrong with a girl asking... it’s just a little awkward for us guys to find something that we expect to be firmly in our grasp to be suddenly in the hands of a girl.  

If that's true here in the west, then I'm going to guess that it's going to knock a guy in china for a loop, especially if he's relatively young and inexperienced with relationships.

Even though my wife all but gave me an ultimatum about getting married, she refrained from asking me to marry her outright.  I would urge you to be more discrete about it.  I think it would be a lot safer if you just drop him a lot of hints about wanting to get married, letting him know that you would say “yes” and it’s safe to propose.  It's better to let a man convince himself of a decision than being pushed into one.  It's in our nature to want to maintain a sense of control, even if it's largely imaginary.

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Post time 2005-4-8 05:04:08 |Display all floors


well if someone touched my hand, i wouldn't mind. Depend on the person.
Whether i already know her well or not of course. If she is nice person then i don't have a problem with it. Although yeah it can be little akward for someone who has never had relationships with girls.

But knocked out? nah but depends on the guy you deal with hehe.

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Post time 2005-4-8 05:48:09 |Display all floors

neocortex, I think you misunderstood. :)

Starryeyed is thinking about proposing to the guy... you know... asking for his "hand in marriage".  It's a *touch* more than just holding hands.  LOL  ^.^

Ok,  I'm sobered up, and hey, my lab is still intact, guess I didn't do anything stupid.  ;)

Anyway, I guess there is nothing wrong with doing the proposing.  Although, I would suggest avoid asking him when he's drinking hot coffee or something, unless you fancy seeing a guy choke.  XD  Other than that, I think most guys would get over the initial shock... eventually.

Hmmm, why do I feel like I need another drink?  *choke* ~. ^

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Post time 2005-4-8 10:35:00 |Display all floors

i guess xiphoid has made a point.

yes, starryeyed, i agree with xiphoid.

being a Chinese, i don't think it is a good idea for u to propose to him. mos ot Chinese are very traditional and conservative, especially in the north of China. in men's opinion, they like to control everything, instead of being pushed to anything. even if a girl is too initiative in a relationship, that would also scare the Chinese man. of course, every coin has its two sides. some men do like women to be initiative in the relationship. but the mainstream in China, maybe in all over the world, is that it is men's job to propose to women.

although it is not wrong for a girl to propose to a man, it sounds weird. after all, it is not the usual case.

anyway, good luck !

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Post time 2005-4-8 14:57:16 |Display all floors

starryeyed, you are such a loser

if you propose to a Chinese man.  

One thing I forgot to list in my "insights about Chinese men" is that

n) they think you are really cheap if you chase them or propose to them, as nobody want you so you have to sell yourself.

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Post time 2005-4-8 15:01:18 |Display all floors

lilianc, better forget about him

If he likes you, he would have already told you.  He will think that you are cheap if start chasing him.  He will eat a "free lunch" but will not appreciate it as well as if he has to make an effort to get it.

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Post time 2005-4-8 15:02:53 |Display all floors

Bleiky, forget about Nike

Life is not a game, neither is a relationship or a marriage.

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