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memory of the beach [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2003-11-29 01:15:20 |Display all floors
I stooped badly down, and, after a deliberate selection, picked up a most favorable thin stone, with a slight erection tossed it forward from the lower place, which exactly made a small arc in the sky. The stone’s flying orbit and the ripples it stirred put me to a little haughty.
“Well, you know, for ages I haven’t tried it. Fortunately, I am still not out of practice.” I said and turned round, only to find nobody behind me. The smiles in my face stiffened in the cold air.
The open sea had the same color as the large sky. But the former was much tougher than the latter. And the two merged in the far distance where the sun rises and sets every day and never ceases.
After pulling up the collar of the cloak which you bought me last year when we first met, I continued to stroll on, stepping on the familiar sands but without my mate.
“Baby, where are you?” I repeatedly asked the sky, but it didn’t reply; then I called to the far end of the sea, not an answer came to me……

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Post time 2003-12-8 14:43:20 |Display all floors

is this right ?

is this is a sad story ? the  man's lover has gone ,but he miss her so much that his lover is walking with him along the beach.am i right?

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Post time 2003-12-9 17:30:11 |Display all floors

Excellent! Creative writing is a great way to improve your English!

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Post time 2003-12-9 17:30:14 |Display all floors

Excellent! Creative writing is a great way to improve your English!

Let me assist you with some editing!

"I stooped badly down" is not quite correct. "Stooped" is the verb, so the adverb should go before it, but "badly" isn't an adverb you can use in this way. Do you mean "I clumsily stooped down"?

"with a slight erection" has a very different meaning that you want, I think! Look up "erection" in a dictionary.

"which exactly made a small arc in the sky" should be "it made a small, exact arc in the sky"

"smiles in my face" should be "smile on my face"

"And the two merged in the far distance where the sun rises and sets every day and never ceases." This is a nice image - except as you know the sun does not set in the same place it rises!

"the familiar sands" should be "the familiar sand"

Hope this helps you!

I enjoyed your writing, Thankyou for posting it.


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Post time 2003-12-28 14:56:11 |Display all floors

hehe,thank u for ur rewriting!

i am glad you bother yourself rewrite it for me.grateful to u!salute to u!

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