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Is it so hard for a single mother to find her soulmate? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2004-12-9 19:02:56 |Display all floors

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Post time 2004-12-9 19:53:43 |Display all floors

Is it so hard for a single mother to find her soulmate?

I am a 35 years old divorced single mother raising my school aged daughter since she was 2. With the grown up of my daughter, i feel lonely and the emptyness of my personal life. It seems the time to find my another part.  After trying to search in reality as well as on line, i regret finding it's so hard for most of men to accept a woman with another man's kid.
I have a peaceful mind and could enjoy life even if I am alone. But believe life would be more wonderful if sharing with someone special. The fact is that It seems impossible for me to find someone who love me and (most important )fully accept my daughter who means a lot to me.
I am tired of searching ...nearly give up.. Maybe only when my daugher goes to college and have her own life, it could be the right time for me to start/ find my own life.... Hopeless now.

Experienced gentlemen/ladies, would you pls give me some advice? Tks a lot

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Post time 2004-12-10 00:25:08 |Display all floors

Is it so hard for a single mother to find her soulmate?

From a western man's point-of-view, there are so many  people like this in the UK. It is true, women with kids have a more difficult time finding a bf, but  it is much more common for  people to divorce here, and so it is almost expected you will already have kids if you are single(divorced) and above about 25 years old.  I dont know how chinese men think, but europeans do not really mind if  a woman already has kids from her first marriage. Most of my friends are divorced twice already, and all have kids from previous marriages.

I think what I am saying is that if chinese men do not like you because you are divorced or have kids from a previous marriage then you might try a westerner who does not mind so much.

Of course, you have to be careful  when you are dating anyone. Careful that he loves you both, and that he behaves in a proper  way towards your child.  (I hope you understand what I am saying here)

I think the important thing is to take your time, and do not rush into marriage again. If he loves you, he will wait until you are ready  to marry him. If he cannot wait then he is not worth it.

Good luck.

Hope this helps
Paul

P.S. It is difficult for everyone to find their soul mate - not just if you are a single mother. :-)

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Post time 2004-12-10 16:07:06 |Display all floors

Paul, thanks a lot for your valuable comments!!

I understand and agree with you about 'careful' issue. Actually it 's also what I concern most. Things become even more complicated for a single mother who has a daughter.

Remarriage means a lifetime committement to me. Rush is absolutely no-no. As you said, it does take time for everyone , not only for a single mother, to find her/his soul mate.
Even if it'll be more difficult for me, believe it worth a lot of efforts to rebulid a happy life. Maybe I should keep my spirit high. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?!  I just couldn't help feeling lonely and disappoined about the searching....

Thanks again, Paul
Have a nice day!

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Post time 2004-12-11 02:10:27 |Display all floors

life is not easy !

You can write to me if you like.
Which city are you from?

Best regards

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Post time 2004-12-11 20:16:12 |Display all floors

thanks for your kind attention!

I am from Beijing

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Post time 2004-12-11 20:31:04 |Display all floors

not really, your time will come

If you remain true to yourself and continue to do the best for your daughter, I'm sure a kind man will come into your life. Actually, Paul's advice to you was very kind and well thought out. It always strikes me as interesting that Chinese women often feel that their romantic lives are over after they reach 30 years old or if they have a child and are divorced, when in reality it is then that they have found more balance in their lives. I imagine that you are a very honest and sincere person, and therefore can also imagine that what you are seeking will find its way to you when the time is right.
Stay focused, and never stray from your center. Clearly you are a kind and caring person and, what we in America would call, "a good catch."
Sincerely,
JinChaFa

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