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ENGLISH IS A STUPID LANGUAGE [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2004-10-24 18:34:09 |Display all floors
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.


Acknowledgment to AHA JOKES

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Post time 2004-10-24 23:55:21 |Display all floors

aha! truely funny!

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Post time 2004-10-25 00:14:35 |Display all floors

Man - Woman -Sex Poem

Kissing is a habit
Sex is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says "I LOVE YOU"
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'TO HELL WITH YOU"
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn


Modified and acknowledgment to Lots of Jokes

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Post time 2004-10-25 00:24:14 |Display all floors

TO YOU LADIES!!!

Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all your problems begin with MEN???

Modified and Acknowledgment to LotsofJokes

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Post time 2004-10-25 00:41:55 |Display all floors

Successful Man / Successful Woman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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Post time 2004-10-26 02:55:59 |Display all floors

Yes but I am forced to use it--------

---- cant speak Chinese

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Post time 2004-10-26 14:35:47 |Display all floors

Reply: Yes but I am forced to use it--------

you can try to learn chinese.
I'm  wondering why we Chinese study English so hard, and those chinese guys who use English fluently can get a big salary......

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