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Dating show reflects backward belief system [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2017-2-23 09:30:43 |Display all floors
This post was edited by SherrySongSHSF at 2017-2-23 09:31

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Editor's Note:
Recently, a new show on Shanghai-based Dragon Television, Chinese Dating, has become very popular among audiences. The show highlights Chinese parents' role in their children's relationship and their traditional or even outdated values on marriage have sparked much controversy. What effects will the show have on Chinese society? How should the media respond to this? The Global Times has collected three articles on the issue.(news from the global times)

Modern values should be widely publicized
Chinese Dating has put Chinese parents in the spotlight for their surprising remarks about marriage.
This show highlights parents' role in dating. In the show's premiere, five bachelors waited backstage while their parents questioned female guests looking for dates. The parents would turn on lights if they were satisfied with the answers.
After getting approval from the parents, the female guests moved onto the next round to pick their dates among the five men. At the meantime, the men communicated with their parents over the phone to give their opinions. Then, the female guests made her decision on who she would date based on the men's families.
The freedom of marriage has been advocated for many years. But the show reflects an out-of-date principle in China: decisions about marriage should be made by parents with the help of matchmakers. When it comes to setting the standards for daughters-in-law, some parents emphasize fertility, the ability to do housework or taking care of their sons and etc. What's worse, some male guests on the show actually agree with the sexist statements their parents made.
The requirements of male guests' parents reflect traditional Chinese values. Marriage is for carrying on the family name. Doing housework represents the backward value that men's place is outside the home while women should take care of the family. The view that women's value depreciate with age is widespread in modern society. It stresses that women are at their best when they are young and beautiful. But, these views should not be advocated.
Some parents hope that their prospective daughters-in-law can take care of their sons, which partly reflects the "giant babies" phenomenon in China. The country's one-child policy was implemented for many years. For families with only one child, parents, especially mothers, would dote on their sons, which makes their sons psychologically reliant on the parents. Therefore, it is difficult for these men to assume responsibilities after they become adults.
In contrast, females in China have become more independent. Despite that the one-child policy stresses equality between males and females, parents' traditional preference for sons makes it more likely for males to be spoiled and become giant babies.
In modern society, independent women have faced a great deal of obstacles in marriage. The mass media should be aware of this trend and publicize modern marriage values.
Beijing Daily



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Post time 2017-2-23 09:30:52 |Display all floors
Arranged marriage emerges again
Data shows there are more than 200 million unmarried men and women in 2015 in China, which led to the creation of hit TV shows to facilitate blind dates.
Launched on last year's Christmas Eve by Shanghai-based Dragon Television, Chinese Dating is different from similar programs created by other TV stations in audience response. Rather than praise, it has received taunt and growl.
The controversial program, hosted by transgender Chinese celebrity Jin Xing, flaunts Chinese marriage characteristics and brings members of the men's family to the "date."
On the stage, family members will meet and talk with the female guests in turn while the men stay backstage.
Though the men are provided opportunities to express their own thoughts, most of the time is devoted to judgmental comments from their family members on the female guests.
Parents also request that the women have the ability to do housework, look after family members and have proper manners. One mother even asked for a daughter-in-law with warm hands since she believes it affects the ability to bear children.
After nearly a century, the shadows of arranged marriages have reappeared in the form of TV shows in China. Audiences, especially the female community, feel indignant. Critics say that what the program advocates is against the modern ideas of family and the freedom of marriage.
However, the program itself is also a reflection of reality. Parents in Beijing and Shanghai have been setting their children on blind dates for years. For a long time, "my parents believe we are not suitable for each other" is one of the major reasons for relationship breakup.
Why are there still so many adults conceding to their parents' involvement in their marriage?
It is the belief that most single women living in big cities have two fundamental requirements for their partners - car and real estate.
Men in their 20s would find it hard to earn enough money to satisfy both. Hence, some parents would provide economic aids and even good job opportunities.
For parents, marriage is a big investment project. Thus, parents think it is fair for them, the investors, to "intervene" in the marriage while their children prefer to live by themselves and stay away from interference from their parents.
Southern Weekly

More influence than entertainment
Chinese Dating got high ratings by satisfying audiences from the older generations and reflecting the real relationship between Chinese parents and their children. The show also generated lively discussions on social networks.
When asked to comment on the show, a majority of eight unmarried women dislike it. They consider marriage their own business and parents should not intervene. The dating shows or dating activities held in big cities display the parents' anxiety about their children's marriage. The anxiety comes from several different factors.
First, parents are worried if their children can choose the right spouse. They are afraid that their children have little interest in getting married or they may choose the wrong person to marry. Parents always consider that their children lack experience and need their advice.
Besides, there is no boundary between parents and children in a Chinese family. Parents see their children's marriage as their own business and often force them to get married.
In fact, parents are also under pressure. They are looking forward to having grandchildren like their friends do. They also refuse to draw a clear distinction between themselves and their children, whom they think are less independent. Chinese families also attach importance to the sense of belonging. Parents need children to look after them as they age, so they want to hold tight to the interdependence on their children.
Chinese psychologist Wu Zhihong has raised the idea in his book that 99 percent of Chinese adults are giant babies because parents refuse to let children grow up independently. Parents like to "being needed" and their personal value is realized when they devote themselves to raising children.
From the children's perspective, they resent their parents' arranged dates and feel forced by their parents into such things. In most Chinese families, parents behave like "master" and children are "servants." Young men, who are obedient toward their mothers, have no capacity to select the appropriate spouse.
All in all, the controversial dating show has brought more influence than entertainment to the middle-aged audience.
Thepaper.cn

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