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reply to meiguoracing (II. )
1. But why do you assume it's the "dark side" of society or that the girls are "selling" themselves? |
When I mentioned “selling” themselves, I have to acknowledge that this kind of girls mainly refer to those who cannot support themselves and expect to depend on MEN. They adore all the things from the western countries blindly. They seem to be faithful followers to western life style whilst they spare no effort hunting potential candidates who may meet their requirements. They are considered as indolent. This has something to do with HUMAN’s basic desire for rich and light-hearted life. Suppose there were two guys for a girl’ choice, whilst the two candidates share almost the same qualifications except that one is Chinese national the other is a foreigner. The latter would turn out to be the girl’s priority choice, because he has the potentiality to provide her with a better life than the Chinese one. At least , he can offer her an international trip. ;). (It may sounds funny for you, but it is acceptable for Chinese community) I don’t mean the Chinese man cannot afford the same thing to her. While thinking that most of the ppl in some cities in China, their monthly income is no more than RMB1000, international trip tickets would spend his annual income. How can he afford a better life for a girl who is totally westernized in mind? There are exceptions of some other types, I just made a general description of COMMON reality. That is why we common ppl think that they are selling themselves, selling as an exchange of a BETTER life.
2.Why I called it a “dark side” of our society?
There are a large number of Chinese women who desperate for a foreign marriage to change their lives. Most of them are housewives and received little education. Most of them even have no jobs to support themselves, not because of the unemployment problem of this country but because of their mindset, they want an EASY life. You might think it Okay. While their desire caused another business in China, some illegal "agents "establish their "business "through service for international marriages. These women know nothing of English language; their romance is developed through correspondence of TRANSLATORS. Do you think they would have a good life later? I doubt. Although some may argue that language is not a problem. That is not we are talking about right now. Personally I believe that the ideology is the seedbed for all kinds of illegal WOMEN deals. It is the source for crime.
3.Why does anyone else care? Why is this a problem?
It is a problem due to the above reasons. Supposed you were a Chinese man and you had sisters with this kind of fancy of their marriage, would you let them be or give some suggestions? Or in other words, you had a gf who happened to be in a dilemma to choose a foreigner or you as her husband, would you care about her ideas?
4.Live and let live. There are plenty of real problems for Chinese men to worry about, without making up more of them.
Of course, Chinese men worry about a lot of things like corruption, economic policies, state policies etc , these can be easily found in Chinese forum. I think for most of them language is a problem. That is why you cannot find their comments as much as they should have made in this forum.
Live and let live, I agree. We cannot prevent them from choosing BETTER lives. We just discuss it and express our personal views, which may be right or wrong. But they are GENUINE.
5. Yes, true love does exist between a foreigner and a Chinese girl. But it depends on the parities. I cannot agree more with canadianguy on this aspect. When a foreigner and a Chinese national want to develop a romance, they have to respect each other’s culture, they have to spare no effort to learn more about the other party’s culture and finally accept it and love it, not totally but mainly. Otherwise, I don’t see any promising in such a relationship.
The above two threads may enlighten you in some way of the Chinese realities.